Otty Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 The link below provides some research to support what a lot of us already knew: Women who don't sleep around before their wedding have happier marriages - but men can play the field without worry, study finds | Mail Online Not only does female chastity lead to happier marriages; it also reduces illegitimacy (40% of children born in the U.S. are now illegitimate) and gives children a higher likelihood of success in life.
smackie9 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 The link below provides some research to support what a lot of us already knew: Women who don't sleep around before their wedding have happier marriages - but men can play the field without worry, study finds | Mail Online Not only does female chastity lead to happier marriages; it also reduces illegitimacy (40% of children born in the U.S. are now illegitimate) and gives children a higher likelihood of success in life. Misogynistic crap-ola...Men need to learn to keep it in their pants. 12
ascendotum Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 Less single party girls to sleep with + less divorcees to sleep with + less single moms to sleep with + less unhappy wives to cheat with = much less field to play with for men. 4
durkadurka Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 And who wants to be married when their choice is a bunch of inexperienced frigid women willing to only give vanilla sex...... I would personally prefer that to the overs used slootbags that are out there these days. Sexual chemistry can be taught and learned, but vagina's car fax reports can't. 2
Smilecharmer Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 Maybe they complain less or expect less because that marriage is all they know. Knowledge about a subject changes expectations. Also, UVA is in the Bible Belt and religion secures submissive women by default. 8
Candy_Pants Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 How do you account for natural sexual curiosity? As a virgin I didn't think about various men sexually. After I lost my virginity (though I was very much in love) I became extremely curious about other kinds of sex and men. 1
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 People who don't know any better assume their lives are the best, news at 11. And it's from the Daily Mail, ferchrissakes. 5
carhill Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 I see, as author: "STEPH COCKROFT FOR MAILONLINE" And couldn't read further Generally, though, I see two issues. One, no one can possibly prove a woman is chaste and, two, what the heck is a 'better' marriage? I ask these questions as a man who was married. 3
Blade96 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 I did some quick googling. This group - and the founder's name - are linked to Christian pages with, well pretty sure everyone here knows what conservative Christians believe in. Nope, not gonna take their "facts" seriously.
Author Otty Posted August 24, 2014 Author Posted August 24, 2014 Yep, it would be nice if men stopped impregnating women outside of marriage. This is half of the problem. Society had a successful model for marriage, raising children, and producing contributing members of society. Unfortunately, we checked it starting in the 1960s and embraced a different set of values; promiscuity, no committment, feminism, no fatherhood for many children, and then later, poverty, inequality and a collapse in marriage. Next stop: the total breakdown of society. I see another poster got a dig in against conservative Christians. Maybe if we go back to the society bequeathed to us by these conservtive Christians/Catholics, which developed over 1700 years of our history, we might still be able to turn things around. Personally, I'd love to meet a nice, chaste, marriage/family minded, traditional girl for marriage. Based on the discussion we are beginning to have as a society, I don't think I'm the only one.
Elias33 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 Oh, this is one of those us vs. them threads....*Slowly backs out* 5
FitChick Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 There would be far fewer illegitimate births if the State stopped paying for them and spent more money on free tubal ligation and vasectomies. 3
Blade96 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 "Unfortunately, we checked it starting in the 1960s and embraced a different set of values; promiscuity, no committment" And in a time where women had to have a man sign for them to get a credit card, and women's past was (sometimes still is) held against them in cases of sexual assault. Yes, we really should return to those times. *snark* I wouldn't really have anything against conservative christians if 1) they didn't have an agenda AND these other things 1) They have a history of lying to further said agenda and 2) they wouldn't be hypocrites 3) stop pushing beliefs down others throats because if the world of their dreams is as good as they claim it is, they wouldn't have to try and "convert" people, the ideas will help sell themselves if they are actually good ones 4) don't be sexist and classist and pretty much whatever "ist" they have been for quite a while. 1
mortensorchid Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 That's a bunch of nonsense. People were having sex outside of or without the benefit of marriage since caveman times and we're still debating it today. Double standards STILL exist no matter what. There is no way to change this double standard, so the only way you can be truly happy is to be in the shadows when it comes to your personal life with others. Don't believe me? Try it and see how many people will come down on you even for the most trivial of things. If that's never happened to you, God bless you. You must be one of those people who are allowed to do/say anything they want and get away with it. I am in the Can't category myself. 2
sweetjasmine Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 The study also showed that larger weddings were associated with higher marital quality. So pay up, fellas. And, of course, the bleeding obvious objection, from the study: One obvious objection to this study is that it may be capturing what social scientists call “selection effects” rather than a causal relationship between our independent variables and the outcome at hand. That is, this report’s results may reflect the fact that certain types of people are more likely to engage in certain behaviors—such as having a child prior to marriage— that are correlated with experiencing lower odds of marital quality. It could be that these underlying traits or experiences, rather than the behaviors we analyzed, explain the associations reported here. This objection applies to most research that is not based on randomized experiments. We cannot prove causal associations between the personal and couple factors we explore and marital quality. 3
carhill Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 We cannot prove causal associations between the personal and couple factors we explore and marital quality. Love the disclaimer. The short answer is each marriage is unique and there are no definitive commonalities between any perceived parameter and the perceived outcome. If the marriage works for the spouses, it's 'better' for them, regardless of the chastity or other measured aspect of the couple.
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Funny how they claim that woman are the root of all social problems, while men taking no responsibility. 5
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 There would be far fewer illegitimate births if the State stopped paying for them and spent more money on free tubal ligation and vasectomies. AND make sex ed mandatory and offer free birth control /plan B/ condoms. Hell of a lot cheaper than paying out welfare for these single moms. 4
Eggplant Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Traditionally, the groom is not responsible for the cost of a wedding. That is supposed to be up to the bride's family. It varies by culture. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Traditionally, the groom is not responsible for the cost of a wedding. That is supposed to be up to the bride's family. Nah...Modern society has started to phase that tradition out.. So, now, as a guy, you get the injustice of paying big on your way in, during, AND on your way out(divorce).... Are we having fun yet? TFY
Priv Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 There are actually more studies (albeit older) coming to the same conclusion: Kahn, J. R., & London, K. A. (1991). Premaritalsex and the risk of divorce. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 53, 845-855. Kelly, E. L., & Conley, J. J. (1987). Personalityand compatibility: A prospective analysis of marital stability and marital satisfaction. Journal of Personality and SocialPsychology, 58, 27-40. Teachman, J. (2003). Premarital sex, premaritalcohabitation, and the risk of subsequent marital dissolution among women. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65, 444-455. Whyte, M. K. (1990). Dating, mating, and marriage. New York, NY:Aldine. Shope, D. F., & Broderick, C. B. (1967). Levels ofsexual experience and predicted adjustment in marriage. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 29, 424-427. Related studies on previous cohabitation experiences and subsequent marital dissolution are more extensively researched and coming to the same conclusion. But you can google those on your own.
Els Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 Determining a causative link between these factors in ~1000 people in 1 country while not controlling for other confounding factors... a statistician's nightmare. I don't even know where to start with that. Personally, I'd love to meet a nice, chaste, marriage/family minded, traditional girl for marriage. Based on the discussion we are beginning to have as a society, I don't think I'm the only one. Sure, nothing wrong with that. How chaste, nice, traditional, and family-minded are you, though? Most traditional women I know (in the sense of having low numbers, that is) are with traditional men. And trust me, being a traditional man comes with a LOT more responsibility than just having sex with your hot, chaste wife. 2
Els Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 It varies by culture. Yep. In the cultural traditions of the place I come from, the bride's family arranges the wedding... but the groom's family gives them a bridal gift, which usually amounts to thousands of dollars, and almost completely covers the cost of the wedding. So technically, the groom's family kinda pays for the wedding, just in a roundabout manner. 1
Taramere Posted August 25, 2014 Posted August 25, 2014 The link below provides some research to support what a lot of us already knew: Women who don't sleep around before their wedding have happier marriages - but men can play the field without worry, study finds | Mail Online Not only does female chastity lead to happier marriages; it also reduces illegitimacy (40% of children born in the U.S. are now illegitimate) and gives children a higher likelihood of success in life. As somebody who's never slept around, I'm not sure I agree with this part... They added that more experiences of breaking up can give people a 'more jaundiced view of love' which could affect future relationships. If you don't sleep around much, then when you do attach to somebody it's a huge deal. Which might sound good from a male perspective. However, from a female perspective - if you are that woman, one bad break up can put you off the whole thing. Life has got to be a whole lot easier for women who can form quick and easy attachments - ie attachments sufficient to want to sleep with the guy. I would think they'd be less messed up by break ups. And thinking of women I know who were pretty promiscuous until they got married, they're getting on just fine. Most of the women I know who are perpetually single tend, like me, to be a bit introverted and don't fall easily - but, when they do form attachments, they place huge importance on them and work very hard at them. Which, again, might sound great from the perspective of the other person - and for as long as they want to stay in the relationship. However, it creates a big mess when the relationship breaks down. Lots of hurt on one side, lots of guilt on the other. The society we live in today is not really geared towards people who are of a monogamous disposition. People are expected to be able to pick themselves up quickly after broken relationships, heal rapidly and move on to the next one. I have absolutely no hesitation in saying that the happiest women I know tend to be both outgoing and quite promiscuous. And I'm not saying that because I want it to be true, or because I have any stake in it being true. I'm saying it because it is true. 1
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