durkadurka Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 (edited) I'm not really looking for advice as to how to "fix" this because I've already come to the conclusion that it isn't really fixable, but was hoping to get some of your guys perspectives on this. Sorry for the aggressive length, I'm just a detail oriented person For the sake of the story this girl has been renamed Alice. A little bit of backstory: Been seeing this girl the last few weeks, and about two weekends ago she more or less said she was super into me, but that she got out of a relationship a few months ago, wasn't really sure what she wanted, and was a bit nuts as it was about to be her summer break. None the less she’d been very PDAish and openly professed how much she liked me, definitely didn’t keep it a secret. After our plans to hangout fell apart last week, I was a bit aggressive in trying to reschedule. Given how excited she’d been at the prospect of getting together the week before, I thought it was fair game. A day was decided, and when that day came not only did she not reply to my messages, she didn’t even open them. In hindsight, given the conversation we had the weekend before, my aggressiveness in trying to reschedule may have scared her off. Okay – lesson learned, I’ll remember it for next time. Here's where things get a bit weird for me... Story time: She and I share a lot of friends and generally go to the same places. I was out with two of my buddies at our regular restaurant we hit up before we go to the bar. It also happens to be a place, which she and her friends frequent. I'm there with my friends when she arrives, we’re sitting at the front door, she obviously knows who I am, and she runs around me, doesn’t say hi to my friend (whom she knows better than she knows me). At this point, my friend whom I met her through basically said "enough of this" I'm going to chat them up and see what's up. Unbeknownst to the girl, my friend is crouched over next to one of Alice’s friends chatting when he overhears he say “Yeah, DurkaDurka is seated right over there”. My friend emerges from his crouched position and says, “Yeah, DurkaDurka is right over there.” She has this blank stare on her face cause she knows she’s been caught, then she goes beet red in embarrassment. Her friends laugh at her. So I head to the bar, also the same bar she was at all night long. We're hanging out with her friends but she will not even talk to me, make eye contact with me, nothing. We’re outside for a breath of fresh-air, she won’t even come near me. At this point it’s agonizingly clear she’s being really awkward. Whatever, I'm not looking to make things more awkward and just go about my business. Finally when the bar closes her friends invite me and my buddy to go get food... she gets visibly squeamish and super awkward (again). So Alice goes with one of her friends to one place, we go to another. Her friends start chatting about her, basically saying she's being awkward (thanks captain obvious), but clearly they didn't care and still invited us anyway. If I recall correctly I think her friends said she was a bit scared, (or intimidated) by me. Eventually we meet up with Alice and her friends at the other restaurant, the trend of straight up ignoring me continues. I haven’t let it get to me, haven’t gotten mad, nothing. Based upon her friends comments, and my reflection on the past week I’m pretty sure I know what I did. I’m also fairly sure there’s nothing I can do about it because of how awkward things have become. Also, I’m not sure I’d want to be with someone who has no ability to communicate and solve problems. The thing that confuses me most though is – ignoring me and shutting me out was her choice. If anything, I’m the one that should be unnerved and losing his cool. Why was she being so awkward. Why couldn’t she deal with her own decision? Edited August 24, 2014 by durkadurka
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