What do I do now - no contact - wait or charge in!

[sezza]

I'm really old enough to know better but have got a relationship woe that some help would be appreciated in solving. I've been dating a widower with two teenage sons since November 2013. Initially it was all good and we saw each other regularly, but actually only probably about once a week. After some time seeing me became more of an issue for him due to problems with his kids so I gave him some space and was very understanding. There have been a few bumpy times along the way where he doubted he wanted to continue but decided he did.... It has become increasingly difficult for me to see him as he says his 15 year old son doesn't want him to go out, and when I do see him it's always on his terms and when it's convenient to him, and he will lie to his son about where he is. I've reached the stage where I don't suggest doing things as I don't know what sort of response I'll get. I've tried to be understanding as I'm sure the family have had a stressful time but my patience wore very thin and I suggested that he wasn't happy and was finding seeing me stressful, to which he didn't really respond but we would discuss things when we both returned from our (seperate) vacation. He was home on Friday but I've heard nothing. I'm the sort of person who wants to charge in and get things sorted, whatever the outcome but is waiting a better idea>

[d0nnivain]

I'd talk to him but I'd be prepared to end it. Right now he's letting a child dictate the terms of his life & that is setting a bad precedent.

[GemmaUK]

I take it that it's the mother of his children who he is widowed from.

How long has it been since they lost her?

[sezza]

It's been 2 and a half years since she died but was ill for a while before. It's more complex as the kids are adopted and do have attachment issues. When I write this it all sounds terrible!