should I bother telling this dumper not to contact me anymore?

[Ordinaryday]

about 10 years ago a dumper did something HORRIBLE to me, something which I consider to be unforgiveable. I made it clear to them at the time that if they went through with it I would NEVER speak to them again, we would not be friends or nothing, and they agreed.

 

they obviously incorrectly through I was bluffing or didnt meant it because at least twice a year from them I get an email or letter from them or something, either begging for forgiveness or telling me how they are going and what not.

 

I dont want anything to do with them. I am certainly not going to tell them I forgive them cos I dont forgive them, I just want them to leave me alone.

 

life is not a Hollywood movie rom-com where most indiscretions can be forgiven in 90 minutes and they live happily ever after. I want NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with this person.

 

in ten years I have never responded to them or messaged them back and yet they still contact me (they always manage to find me even after I move) every now and then and it always bothers me... even after ten years they dont seem to have gotten the hint that I WONT BE FORGIVING THEM OR BE just friends with them, they are DEAD to me.

 

should I bother contacting them to tell them that... or just keep ignoring them and let my silence say it for me?

[Zeurich]

Hate never solve anything. I understand the anger in you what ever the reason between them and you. But forgiving release your mind also their mind too. Every one make mistakes and by the time people grow up. you can choose to ignore as you did for last 10 years. Either you can forgive him or her as a grown up person by the time and just let it go from your mind and focus on your life. Forgive does not mean that you need to keep in touch or being friends. That is how I see that and that is how I will do if I were you. Good Luck!

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

about 10 years ago a dumper did something HORRIBLE to me, something which I consider to be unforgiveable. I made it clear to them at the time that if they went through with it I would NEVER speak to them again, we would not be friends or nothing, and they agreed.

 

they obviously incorrectly through I was bluffing or didnt meant it because at least twice a year from them I get an email or letter from them or something, either begging for forgiveness or telling me how they are going and what not.

 

I dont want anything to do with them. I am certainly not going to tell them I forgive them cos I dont forgive them, I just want them to leave me alone.

 

life is not a Hollywood movie rom-com where most indiscretions can be forgiven in 90 minutes and they live happily ever after. I want NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with this person.

 

in ten years I have never responded to them or messaged them back and yet they still contact me (they always manage to find me even after I move) every now and then and it always bothers me... even after ten years they dont seem to have gotten the hint that I WONT BE FORGIVING THEM OR BE just friends with them, they are DEAD to me.

 

should I bother contacting them to tell them that... or just keep ignoring them and let my silence say it for me?

 

If its e-mails, block their receiving e-mails

If its letters, then throw it away.

 

Maybe one day they will get the hint....after 10 years, I doubt it though.

[Ordinaryday]

the thing is: I dont want them as a friend, I dont them as an acquitance, I just want them out of my life. maybe if the breakup was polite you could be friends down the line, but this one wasnt so I have no interest in being their friend. I would always remember their betrayal, and I cant be friends with someone like that.

 

and I dont want to start speaking to them again cos I know I would just get emotional and start screaming about how much they hurt me and they would cry and plead innocence and then I would come out looking like the bad guy!

 

I feel it is better to just never ever communicate with them again. I have heard some people say things like "you dont really mean that! if she died tomorrow you would really regret never making up with them" in relation to similar scenarios, but... no I wouldnt. if she died tomorrow I wouldnt be happy, I wouldnt be sad, I just wouldnt care.

[Zeurich]

the thing is: I dont want them as a friend, I dont them as an acquitance, I just want them out of my life. maybe if the breakup was polite you could be friends down the line, but this one wasnt so I have no interest in being their friend. I would always remember their betrayal, and I cant be friends with someone like that.

What you really expect writing your anger here? If you know that you don't need any communication, then why you still reading the letters what she is sends you? Why you haven't block her totally as NC. If you did not read the letters how you know what she has wrote ? How you knew she was asking forgiveness? Is not that mean corners of your mind willing to know how she is doing?

and I dont want to start speaking to them again cos I know I would just get emotional and start screaming about how much they hurt me and they would cry and plead innocence and then I would come out looking like the bad guy!

Why you would come out look like a bad guy then you also have some guilt in your heart. Other wise you wont feel that way?

I feel it is better to just never ever communicate with them again. I have heard some people say things like "you dont really mean that! if she died tomorrow you would really regret never making up with them" in relation to similar scenarios, but... no I wouldnt. if she died tomorrow I wouldnt be happy, I wouldnt be sad, I just wouldnt care.

you never know what happens or how it happens. Stay as no heart or just forgive and let it go is up to you. If she die you regret or not that you don't know now,you may get to know that if that happens. So don't bluff about things that you exactly don't know at the moment. I don't think you loved or cared for her if you say you ever did, you cannot behave like this. Good luck

[erklat]

Keep up the status quo. Don't break nc.