emmahattie Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 (edited) Starting from the beginning. I met this guy on a dating site about 4 months ago, and we've been talking every day since (texting everyday and calling once a week). Unfortunately I was at uni for a month since we were talking so I couldn't see him. When I got back into town he finally asked me on a date during late July so I went to his town and saw him (only a 25 min train journey away). We went to the pub for a few drinks and the conversation came easily etc, when my train pulled in when I was leaving we shared a kiss. That night he texted me how much I mean to him even though it hadn't been that long and that he was so happy that he met me. And we continued to text each other those things for a while after the date, he always calls me 'his girl' and says things like 'my princess' and all that jazz. So a week passed after our first date and we didn't plan anything, then the 2nd week I asked him if he wanted to do something so he replied 'maybe' but seemed kind of reluctant (turns out he was ill and just didn't bother to tell me), so I asked a couple days later and he just straight out said 'I don't want to cause I feel too ill'...he did have a bad chest infection but I didn't know that. So I pulled him up on it and told him it feels like he doesn't want to see me again and he's just stringing me along. He replied that that wasn't the case at all and he really wants to see me again and why would he string me along when its not as if I'm 'just there to use' cause I'm in another town and 'why would he make all the effort for someone in another town'. So the 3rd week passed and he said his chest infection is starting to clear but he wasn't completely better so I didn't bother to ask him to do something again. Then it came to the 4th week, he's been better for a while now. I asked him if he wants to do something a few days ago and he said 'we'll talk about it tomorrow' so I just left it at that. When tomorrow arrived I asked him again and he turned me down cause his mate was coming round to help him with his car. So again I pulled him up on it saying I'm not gonna see you again am I? And he said 'we'll do something soon, what do you want to do anyway?' So I just mentioned a meal like we said we'd do and he suggested the cinema as well... I haven't asked him again since but recently it seems like he's being kinda distant, he doesn't text me cute stuff as much, we're not texting as much. Although we had a phone call last night and he was calling me his princess and we were having a laugh etc. Just getting a bit fed up seeing as it's been a month now and I really do like him, just not sure what to do any more. Could somebody please help me shed some light on what I should do? Not sure if I'm being used or not...oh and he still has time to see his mates at night - but they do live in the same town, yet he can't make the time to see me. (Sorry this is such an essay) Edited August 24, 2014 by emmahattie
BlueIvy Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 The red flag to me is you seem to be initiating the convo. Never chase a man... and I am dubious about his chest infection, I mean if he's a young guy, why is it taking weeks to get ill? Young people don't normally get that sick and the fact he is acting distant as well. It's been 3 weeks since you guys hung out? I mean is he even communicating with you or anything? He still goes to school right and work? So, why can't he go out with you? It sounds like B.S. to me. If this was me, I would leave it alone.
WonderKid Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 It's okay to chase after what you like. But if there is lack of reciprocation then yeah you have to let it go. If this guy likes you then he would've been seen you again without you having to ask multiple times. Get distant on him as well. Go and find guys within your area or something. Because it does seem like he is stringing you along. It seems like a back burner deal to me. Don't get too many feelings invested is all I can say.
aussietigerwolf Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 I've had numerous chest infections and they never took more then a week to heal and I was never sick enough to miss school or work or even hang outs with friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 He's not interested anymore. I don't buy the weeks-long chest infection excuse. He calls you "princess" and whatnot to keep you hooked so that you'll be there if his other options don't pan out. A month without making plans or taking any initiative signals a clear lack of interest. I'd stop trying to see him. 1
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