Twinkle91 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 Hi everyone, I've been dating this guy for about 2-3 weeks. Everything has been going well all along. We texted each other on and off, although not in a texting marathon. Regardless of how long it takes, he'll never end off the conversation. He'll always get back to me within 24 hours so I assume he might be busy sometimes. I'm 23 this year, he is 24. We have been out for about 5 dates. I have to admit, I'm really attracted to him. And I know I did something I shouldn't do. There was once when he invited me over to his place for a movie. We ended up making out, not to the extend of having sex because I rejected him. Subsequently, we went on lunch dates. There were also a couple of times whereby he drop by my place and he did saw my parents. But I only introduced him as a friend. I did so many mistakes. I actually jokingly asked what are we because I honestly had no idea where is this heading towards. I'm afraid I'll end up as a friend with benefits. He then told me that we're dating and he regarded me more than a friend. That date at my place ended well. He left happy, I was happy. And we agreed to meet about 3 days later. However that day when I met him, I felt that he became really distant. He came over to my house for a movie. He would usually hug me and peck me on the forehead and show affection. But the other day, he was being really distant. He tries to avoid any physical contact with me. I'm not sure what did I do wrong. Or did he thought we were progressing too fast. Or that he thought I was behaving like his girlfriend. But all along, he behaves like my boyfriend too. I'm actually really regretting it now. So many thoughts have been going through my mind. I haven't felt so troubled. But anyway, during our last date which was 2 days ago...he told me that he'll be rather busy these few weeks due to his job applications and interviews. And that he might be unable to meet me. Which I felt was clearly an excuse because we stay just about a 10 min drive away. I knew he needed space. Or I don't know what's with his issue. Before he left, he didn't even hug or kiss me anymore. I then asked, how about our supper date? Because he did promise he'll bring me out. And he told me, whenever you feel like it...text me. But isn't it supposed to be him texting me? Since he already pre-warned me that he'll be busy. I'm so confused now. Do I just wait for him to contact me? Or should I text him about our supper date after a couple of days? I'm so afraid he'll just disappear. I don't know what to do. Sigh. Can anyone advice me what to do??
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 (edited) Sounds like you two don't have the same understanding of what your relationship is. Are you friends? FWB? Exclusively dating? The way you describe his behaviour it sounds like he's treating you like a friend since you rejected him. That means it's up to YOU to approach him and change the situation. Since you're only friends (in his mind), he's letting you know you won't see each other for a while since he's going to be busy with job applications. Maybe if you were exclusively dating he'd make more of an effort to see you. But isn't it supposed to be him texting me? Says who? Edited August 24, 2014 by DazedandConfused8
Author Twinkle91 Posted August 24, 2014 Author Posted August 24, 2014 I did ask him what were we. And he mentioned that we are dating.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 I did ask him what were we. And he mentioned that we are dating. Of course you're dating... You've been on dates. But are you exclusively dating?
BlueIvy Posted August 24, 2014 Posted August 24, 2014 Hi everyone, I've been dating this guy for about 2-3 weeks. Everything has been going well all along. We texted each other on and off, although not in a texting marathon. Regardless of how long it takes, he'll never end off the conversation. He'll always get back to me within 24 hours so I assume he might be busy sometimes. I'm 23 this year, he is 24. We have been out for about 5 dates. I have to admit, I'm really attracted to him. And I know I did something I shouldn't do. There was once when he invited me over to his place for a movie. We ended up making out, not to the extend of having sex because I rejected him. Subsequently, we went on lunch dates. There were also a couple of times whereby he drop by my place and he did saw my parents. But I only introduced him as a friend. I did so many mistakes. I actually jokingly asked what are we because I honestly had no idea where is this heading towards. I'm afraid I'll end up as a friend with benefits. He then told me that we're dating and he regarded me more than a friend. That date at my place ended well. He left happy, I was happy. And we agreed to meet about 3 days later. However that day when I met him, I felt that he became really distant. He came over to my house for a movie. He would usually hug me and peck me on the forehead and show affection. But the other day, he was being really distant. He tries to avoid any physical contact with me. I'm not sure what did I do wrong. Or did he thought we were progressing too fast. Or that he thought I was behaving like his girlfriend. But all along, he behaves like my boyfriend too. I'm actually really regretting it now. So many thoughts have been going through my mind. I haven't felt so troubled. But anyway, during our last date which was 2 days ago...he told me that he'll be rather busy these few weeks due to his job applications and interviews. And that he might be unable to meet me. Which I felt was clearly an excuse because we stay just about a 10 min drive away. I knew he needed space. Or I don't know what's with his issue. Before he left, he didn't even hug or kiss me anymore. I then asked, how about our supper date? Because he did promise he'll bring me out. And he told me, whenever you feel like it...text me. But isn't it supposed to be him texting me? Since he already pre-warned me that he'll be busy. I'm so confused now. Do I just wait for him to contact me? Or should I text him about our supper date after a couple of days? I'm so afraid he'll just disappear. I don't know what to do. Sigh. Can anyone advice me what to do?? Hmmm, Ok, I don't think you did anything wrong. I mean what are you suppose to introduce him as? You have only dated him for a few weeks. Every relationship is different but I think within a few months, he should state whether it's bf/gf or what. And yes, men do know what they want from the get go. I would give him space for now, if he contacts you within a few days, then ask him what he wants/looking for. If he says he doesn't want a relationship now, then know he isn't trying to take you seriously and can't change his mind. If he doesn't communicate with you after a few days, move on. When you are just dating someone, you should both want to see other as much as possible, not distancing. I think he's being lame using that excuse. Seems he is distancing himself because A. He didn't get in your pants like he wanted. B. Likes you but feels it isn't mutual. C. Not that into you for whatever reason. 1
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