sass69 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Relationship with Sydney started falling apart after moving together. We met in grade 9 of high school and fooled around for 4 years regularly until I finally committed to her in University and fell in love with her during our relationship. We were together for 5 years but have known each other for 9. I am still in school with one more year left and she got a job and has started her career. I did not have a job while in school. We constantly fought and talked about taking a break many times but we were both not able to do it. I treated her like **** and she constantly nagged me. It came to a point where I couldn’t stand being around her. I felt like a prisoner. I stopped putting in an effort into the relationship for about a year. After a night of drinking in May I came back from the bar at 2 am with her brother and was obliterated. I had a major headache. She tried to cuddle with me in the morning and I pushed her off of me like an **** because I wasn’t feeling well. She asked if I think we need to take a break and I said yes. She started crying and I went back to bed and she left for work. A few days later i get a text message saying that she does not want a break but wants it to be permanent. I felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on because I always knew I wanted to be with her and just felt that time apart would have been best. For the first 2 months after I was a wreck. I heard she was really into some guy she met and has been dating like crazy and has had sex with 3 different guys. One night at the local watering hole she showed up with her brother and started crying to me and a friend of mine how miserable she was and how hard it has been for her. I tried to console her and I moved closer to her and she moved away. The night ended with me leaving with other people. After that night I felt great. I thought that there was a really good chance of getting back together. She sent me a text the next day saying that she was sorry for being emotional and it was hard seeing you and that she was happy i was doing well ( i pretended really well to be alright ). I responded by saying that Im happy we can be friends. Note: During this time period she has been contacting my brother often and my best friend occasionally. I know she didn’t get along with my brother well and wasn’t too fond of my best friend. I find its a way of being close to me without actually being with me. A few days later I got wicked drunk and texted my heart out to her after calling her twice with no answer. I basically sent her an entire paragraph saying how i never wanted this and I just thought we needed time and i love u and **** ( i know, REALLY BAD). The next morning she texted me back saying that she doesnt want to get back together and that hopefully one day we can be friends. When i read that my heart had gone from being broken up into pebbles to being tiny pieces of sand. i responded by saying that i totally understand and that i hope she does well in life. More **** up **** - she messages me 3 days later asking if im going to the bar?! i didnt respond. 4 days later my friend who she was talking to comes from out of town and we happen to be in the same neighborhood but at different bars. she starts texting him that she wants to see him (knowing that im with him). shes waiting outside alone for us to walk out and i walk out and say hi whats up give her a hug and get into the car parked in front. she talks to my friend for a few minutes and then he gets in the car too. That night i sent her a text reminiscing about our relationship something along the lines of “remember that time we went out and saw this person that was so fun” and she reponded with “lol ya she was wearing this and looked retarded.” So in general, she gave me a pretty positive response. she initiates plans with my best friend the next night who i trust with my life and ends up meeting her. he told me that all she did the entire time was talk about this guy and how disinterested she is in getting back together with me. she told him i treated her like **** and that she can only see me as a friend in the future. he told me he got the general impression that she was doing fine. Is she playing my friend here? or being honest? Since this happened, 3 weeks have gone by and she has travelled to Europe with a friend and just came home today. What is going on here? Is she **** with my head? why is she contacting me out of nowhere? why is she reaching out to people that are close to me? why is she saying one thing and acting in another way? Im scared i may lose her forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Unfortunately, I can nothing from that that she wants to reconcile. She texted you something kind back after you texted her. There is nothing to read into that. She told your friend she did not want you. She was with someone else. Don't read into that. Look, it doesn't matter why she did the things she has done. There is nothing in that writing that shows she wants you. Please don't go down the speculation road. It only brings heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sass69 Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 after 9 years? you really think its so easy for her to jump into something else? or not have anything to do with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Oak Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 No I don't think it is easy for her to have nothing to do with you, but... What stood out to me is when you bared your soul, all she had to say was let's be friends. I reread your thread. I don't see any green flags for you to move on. What do you think she has done that seemed positive? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I'm not seeing many mixed signals there bud. Sounds like she's been pretty consistent in the fact that she does not want to get back with you -- she's even telling your friend as much. Honestly, the fact that she asked if you wanted a break was indicative of the fact that she wanted one and was preparing for one mentally beforehand. Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Yep - no mixed signals. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 what you need to understand is that compared to other guys you got a history with her and even if she doesnt want you now you can never know if she will turn around some day. the most important thing to do is to work to make yourself feel better and leave her alone. i dont think its okey for your friend to hang out with her and i think its okey to tell him. to completly shut her out of your life will not make it worse, you'll come out stronger and she might even miss you, which if it happens will make you better to hang on to her because of what youve learned. but that should not be your goal. the goal is to feel better and yes you dont wanna hear this but there are other people out there for you. and when time comes you will see that maybe it wasnt as good as i thought. with my ex i knew that if she would leave me it would most likely be forever. with my girl now i honestly think that if we would break up we could get back together. its just so much more there and we worked through tough times with long distance relationship for 2,5 years and still nothing has changed. with that said. i think a person can often feel if they would take you back even if they dont want to admit it at first Link to post Share on other sites
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