bohica Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 (edited) Good Morning! I have had serious interest in this girl I met. We met after mysteriously running into each other in different places. After a few initial phone calls and texts we decided to meet. So last week we met quickly during the day, for about half hr, for a cup of coffee. We both agreed it went too quick. A few days later we exchanged a few friendly texts. Fast forward a bit to this past Thursday morning. I called her and she didn't answer so I left a message saying I'd like to see her again maybe this weekend. I haven't heard back from her. It's been two days. Do I just keep moving forward and forget it, should follow up today, or should I wait a few more days? Could be a sign she's not interested. Just curious about what others think. Possibly a woman's perspective. Thank you Edited August 23, 2014 by bohica Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Good Morning! I have had serious interest in this girl I met. We met after mysteriously running into each other in different places. After a few initial phone calls and texts we decided to meet. So last week we met quickly during the day, for about half hr, for a cup of coffee. We both agreed it went too quick. A few days later we exchanged a few friendly texts. Fast forward a bit to this past Thursday morning. I called her and she didn't answer so I left a message saying I'd like to see her again maybe this weekend. I haven't heard back from her. It's been two days. Do I just keep moving forward and forget it, should follow up today, or should I wait a few more days? Could be a sign she's not interested. Just curious about what others think. Possibly a woman's perspective. Thank you You will get a lot of different answers because we know just as much as you do and that is nothing. But I will tell you this, always keep your options open. You already left a message, now the ball is in her court. She hasn't replied that's her loss, now go out with someone else to night. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Move on. You've shown interest and she could at least have the decency to say thanks or no thanks. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Tip: they don't return your calls because they don't want to, you are not a priority. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 You will get a lot of different answers because we know just as much as you do and that is nothing. But I will tell you this, always keep your options open. You already left a message, now the ball is in her court. She hasn't replied that's her loss, now go out with someone else to night. Certainly do agree with you on all points. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Tip: they don't return your calls because they don't want to, you are not a priority. Totally agree. Not answering a call can be for a variety of reasons. But not returning the call or even acknowledging that you left a message? A pure sign of not being interested. Enjoy the memory and experience, OP. Those chance meetings are fun. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I consider that rude that she didnt return your call. Do yourself a favor and move on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIvy Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 Good Morning! I have had serious interest in this girl I met. We met after mysteriously running into each other in different places. After a few initial phone calls and texts we decided to meet. So last week we met quickly during the day, for about half hr, for a cup of coffee. We both agreed it went too quick. A few days later we exchanged a few friendly texts. Fast forward a bit to this past Thursday morning. I called her and she didn't answer so I left a message saying I'd like to see her again maybe this weekend. I haven't heard back from her. It's been two days. Do I just keep moving forward and forget it, should follow up today, or should I wait a few more days? Could be a sign she's not interested. Just curious about what others think. Possibly a woman's perspective. Thank you Woman's perspective here... Before I re-read what you said, I was initially going to say maybe she doesn't want to appear desperate, but considering you left a VM and she didn't even text or call you back. I would just keep it moving. Even if someone is busy, you make time for what's important to you. Anyway who says they are too busy for someone is B.S., it just means you aren't that important to them, if at all. I am busy and when I love or care for someone, I find time to call or at least text them. Seems she isn't that into you. Link to post Share on other sites
54JA Posted August 24, 2014 Share Posted August 24, 2014 You mentioned that you are "seriously" interested in her. Some people tend to overthink/overanalyze the situation when they are seriously interested in someone. So you might wanna keep it checked if this is the case. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt for a reasonable amount of time. It's possible that she lost her phone or the message got buried among other messages. I would give her a couple more days, if I were you. But it is also possible that she's not that into you. Like many others have said, it does not hurt to keep your options open. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Thank you all for the replies.. So now it's been four days. I am trying to learn to have more patience with women. I normally either over due it when I first meet someone OR just walk away if there is no interest felt right away. I feed off the energy I get from other people. She appeared to be interested.... Should I at some point try to contact this women again even though she isn't showing interest or just move on? I mean when is it ok to pursue a women or be a little persistent? Some men are successful at pursuing women who show no interest at first. They have that balance of being charismatic, smooth, and persistent with out being creepy or annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 You're starting to look desperate. Don't contact again. Besides that she's plain ol rude! If you want any chance with her don't contact her and let her realize you aren't some pathetic guy grovelung to go out with her THEN she may notice you. On to the next! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I don't agree not returning call/text always means disinterest after only two days. I think busy productive people organize their time and she may have waited to see if her night was clear or not or been really busy or been with another guy or with parents and didn't want anyone seeing her business. Or she may not be interested. Or her phone may be out, just a remote chance. No matter what her reason is for not contacting you back right away, whether it means she's got a busy life or just not interested, it's the same answer for every situation, because she either got the message or will get it very soon: Don't recontact. No good can come of it, no matter what the reason. Let's just give it the most positive spin possible. Say her mother went in the hospital right at the same time her phone went out (from using it too much at the hospital) and she has to go to the phone store, but meanwhile she's got to work or go to school or wait for money to come in to fix it. So say that all happened. You contact her. You contact her again. And again, each time sounding more desperate and crazy. So when she finally gets her message, she gets a bunch of desperate crazy from you and red flags your behavior. And that's the best-case scenario. The other scenario is she's not interested, and you continuing to contact her is only going to end in humiliation. Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Tip: they don't return your calls because they don't want to, you are not a priority. Exactly. I don't understand why some guys can't take the hint. Maybe it's denial. Delete her number from your phone, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Exactly. I don't understand why some guys can't take the hint. Maybe it's denial. Delete her number from your phone, OP. I almost completely agree. A few months ago I hit it off with a lady who lives in my small town. We swapped numbers. Texted a bunch. Tried to meet up but as we both have 50% custody of our kids so that can be a frustrating experience. Anyhow, decided to just give her a call one late afternoon to chat and try to find a time that would work for the both of us. She didn't pick up so I left a vmail. No response. So I just let it go. Fast forward to last week I ran into her at Back to School night and she asked why I disappeared like that. I told her that I had called and left a vmail that wasn't returned. Her response was priceless, "well, sometimes a lady likes to feel pursued". We had a good laugh about that and then I told her I was in a serious relationship now. She winked and said, "well, don't lose my number and if you find yourself out of that serious relationship, try calling again." SMH Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Good for you that you're in a serious relationship now. She's a joke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I almost completely agree. A few months ago I hit it off with a lady who lives in my small town. We swapped numbers. Texted a bunch. Tried to meet up but as we both have 50% custody of our kids so that can be a frustrating experience. Anyhow, decided to just give her a call one late afternoon to chat and try to find a time that would work for the both of us. She didn't pick up so I left a vmail. No response. So I just let it go. Fast forward to last week I ran into her at Back to School night and she asked why I disappeared like that. I told her that I had called and left a vmail that wasn't returned. Her response was priceless, "well, sometimes a lady likes to feel pursued". We had a good laugh about that and then I told her I was in a serious relationship now. She winked and said, "well, don't lose my number and if you find yourself out of that serious relationship, try calling again." SMH /facepalm I seriously never understood that logic. "A girl likes to feel pursued?" Because of her game she lost out on a potentially awesome mate. I can't believe people do this. I'm sure people lose out on great opportunities ALL the time because of stubborn and self-centered thought processes. Is this really a thing? Do many people think this way? Like, a big chunk of the "dating" population? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 No that chick was just filling his ears full of bs. She was put on the spot for not replying to the poor guy's messages. She shifted the blame on him, making him think he missed out on an opportunity. I agree she's a joke. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 (edited) Hello again Thanks for all those who took part in this discussion. I just ran into her again. I was walking down the block and as I turned the corner she was getting into her car. I was going to just keep walking but she spotted me and said 'hey' so I stopped and said hello. We started talking and then right in the middle I just stopped and said "well, it was nice seeing you" and I just turned and walked away. I could have said something but I didn't. Edited August 26, 2014 by bohica 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 Hello again Thanks for all those who took part in this discussion. I just ran into her again. I was walking down the block and as I turned the corner she was getting into her car. I was going to just keep walking but she spotted me and said 'hey' so I stopped and said hello. We started talking and then right in the middle I just stopped and said "well, it was nice seeing you" and I just turned and walked away. I could have said something but I didn't. I think I did the right thing by engaging, saying hello and then just walking away. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Hello again Thanks for all those who took part in this discussion. I just ran into her again. I was walking down the block and as I turned the corner she was getting into her car. I was going to just keep walking but she spotted me and said 'hey' so I stopped and said hello. We started talking and then right in the middle I just stopped and said "well, it was nice seeing you" and I just turned and walked away. I could have said something but I didn't. I think that was perfect OP! Let her see you're not desperate to date her. Good for you! Now she's thinking why didn't he ask me out? Why didn't he ask about the call? I'd move on if I were you. Not saying you can't be open to this if she ever shows interest but right now I think you deserve someone who's showing interest in you as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I think that was perfect OP! Let her see you're not desperate to date her. Good for you! Now she's thinking why didn't he ask me out? Why didn't he ask about the call? I'd move on if I were you. Not saying you can't be open to this if she ever shows interest but right now I think you deserve someone who's showing interest in you as well. This exactly. YOu kept it short/sweet and cut it abruptly. Didn't need to discuss anything and you didn't allow her to get to any excuses or anything. Brilliant! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bohica Posted August 26, 2014 Author Share Posted August 26, 2014 Thanks for the positive feedback.... Link to post Share on other sites
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