dumbass2 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Met an adult woman in person who I was somewhat attracted to and had a great personality and we exchanged phone numbers and did a little texting. I called her the next evening and we set up a date to go out the next night. The date went fine but I found out she was separated and divorce wasn't final and that she we right onto a dating site (I did not meet her on there) and meet someone right away that she was with for the previous 4 months. During the date I told her I am looking to take things slow when getting into my next relationship. She asked to extend the night and go somewhere after dinner, but i told her I had to pass because I had to get up early and it was already late. Walked her to her car and just gave her a hug and just said, talk to you later. I could tell she wanted more. She text me in the morning with small talk and we went back and forth a couple of times and said have a good day. In the afternoon I get a text from her letting me know that some man emailed her and she asked me if we were going to be seeing each other and if so she would let him know. I couldn't answer the text right away and 30 minutes later she sent a text that said nice knowing you...lol. I was really tied up at work and could respond and wasn't sure how I wanted to. About the time I'm done at work I get another one kinda asking why I haven't replied back and if her question freaked me out. To me, this seemed kinda of an odd thing to ask someone after only one date. I get the feeling that she is impatient and maybe looking to move fast and I'm not. I'm thinking "red flag" and not doing anything with her. I had gone out before with someone who had not taken time off after a divorce and it didn't work so I'm wondering if my red flag is right on? Advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Yea, sounds like some red flags here...I mean, she already is trying to make you jealous by telling you some other guy is lining up to replace you if you don't confirm plans with her? Wow Another red flag, she is in the middle of a divorce...People who are divorcing go through so many emotions...Too much of a roller coaster here. I say pass... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumbass2 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Yea, sounds like some red flags here...I mean, she already is trying to make you jealous by telling you some other guy is lining up to replace you if you don't confirm plans with her? Wow Another red flag, she is in the middle of a divorce...People who are divorcing go through so many emotions...Too much of a roller coaster here. I say pass... I wasn't really looking at it as her making me jealous, but that is a good point. I was more concerned about why she would even tell me something like that at this point? She should just be going out with whoever until maybe a number of dates in when you decide that maybe you want to focus in on just one person. I was feeling more like she wanted to move fast and get into another relationship because maybe she is missing that void in her life now. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I wasn't really looking at it as her making me jealous, but that is a good point. I was more concerned about why she would even tell me something like that at this point? She should just be going out with whoever until maybe a number of dates in when you decide that maybe you want to focus in on just one person. I was feeling more like she wanted to move fast and get into another relationship because maybe she is missing that void in her life now. Ok, but still, you've only been on one date with her. Who is she to demand you make a decision as to whether or not you're ready for a 2nd date? And, while we can guess as to what her motivation was in telling you she had another guy interested... at the end of the day she felt it was important to tell you about him. People don't just put out information without expecting you to use it. Maybe since she's reentering the dating world, she needs to know that it's ok for her to keep her options open - but until she is exclusive with someone (which won't happen after one date) - she is free to date more than one person w/o telling each other that someone else is on her list. Maybe communication is necessary here...Ask her what her point was in telling you she had other people lined up...Let her know that this is waaaaay too soon for her to be pinning you down like that and you're not sure if this has something to do with her interest in you or he unfamiliarity with the dating game - since she's going through a separation. Link to post Share on other sites
54JA Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I'm glad you are pausing now. It sounds like you have a great instinct. I would listen to it. I totally agree with you about her being impatient. She is still legally married, yet already have 2 potential guys lined up (and maybe even more), and wants you to make a soft commitment after only one day. She is trying too hard to get things moving. It's either she is in a lot of pain and looking for anything to alleviate it, or she is someone who does not take the time to reflect on the past mistakes and attempt to grow as an individual. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Assasda Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Met an adult woman in person who I was somewhat attracted to and had a great personality and we exchanged phone numbers and did a little texting. I called her the next evening and we set up a date to go out the next night. The date went fine but I found out she was separated and divorce wasn't final and that she we right onto a dating site (I did not meet her on there) and meet someone right away that she was with for the previous 4 months. During the date I told her I am looking to take things slow when getting into my next relationship. She asked to extend the night and go somewhere after dinner, but i told her I had to pass because I had to get up early and it was already late. Walked her to her car and just gave her a hug and just said, talk to you later. I could tell she wanted more. She text me in the morning with small talk and we went back and forth a couple of times and said have a good day. In the afternoon I get a text from her letting me know that some man emailed her and she asked me if we were going to be seeing each other and if so she would let him know. I couldn't answer the text right away and 30 minutes later she sent a text that said nice knowing you...lol. I was really tied up at work and could respond and wasn't sure how I wanted to. About the time I'm done at work I get another one kinda asking why I haven't replied back and if her question freaked me out. To me, this seemed kinda of an odd thing to ask someone after only one date. I get the feeling that she is impatient and maybe looking to move fast and I'm not. I'm thinking "red flag" and not doing anything with her. I had gone out before with someone who had not taken time off after a divorce and it didn't work so I'm wondering if my red flag is right on? Advice? You are absolutely spot on! Trust your instincts. Superdooper needy after 1 date. lol already trying to manipulate you by telling you about some other guy. haha - btw, played very well OP After about 3 dates you'd be in for an emotional battering Link to post Share on other sites
Author dumbass2 Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 I'm glad you are pausing now. It sounds like you have a great instinct. I would listen to it. I totally agree with you about her being impatient. She is still legally married, yet already have 2 potential guys lined up (and maybe even more), and wants you to make a soft commitment after only one day. She is trying too hard to get things moving. It's either she is in a lot of pain and looking for anything to alleviate it, or she is someone who does not take the time to reflect on the past mistakes and attempt to grow as an individual. Yes, it is nice to know that we really can learn from our past. I just came out of a relationship 4 months ago where the woman went from long marriage and divorce right into another 3 yr relationship and a month later....me. Unfortunately she lied about the last one and told me she had been single over a year, but she obviously still had some issues that she did not give herself time to resolve internally. This one I thought just best to let her know and move on past it. Link to post Share on other sites
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