He said "I think I love you"

[triniechu]

The thing about your ex is it doesn't sound to me like he changed his mind because men just don't up and do that, he very likely never felt that way to begin with because you don't fall "in love" with someone then see them as a friend 2 and a half years later just because...a lot of guys simply want to swoon a woman over for the ego boost and because it's thrilling and fulfilling at the time, but once they search their true feelings they realize there was no substance or meaning behind those words, promises and even actions that you interpreted as reassuring...guys that make too much of an effort and flaunt too much and seem like too good to be true often are, they're not being genuine and sincere, they're just playing the right cords like strings on a guitar...but when your ex had enough and wanted out of the relationship he just simply dropped the bomb. No guy is ever going to admit to you it was all just load of BS, they're going to make excuses and justify themselves so that they can live with themselves without guilt (if they even feel guilt) and you get to wonder what went wrong and figure out their reasons they gave you when they're not even the real ones. And if there a pattern in the type of guys you like, you've got to be careful...because even though women think they're dating completely different and unique men, they often from are clearly dating a certain type, so that's your first red flag because this guy sounds eerily familiar.

 

You seem like a nice girl and probably the hopeless romantic type, that makes you pretty vulnerable if you're the type to always want to think the best of people and see the positive and wish for the best that something amazing is happening...a lot of girls out there like you put their hearts on the line trusting guys and then end up really burned because it took them time to get there...and once you open your heart up like that and if you let one guy stab it in a big way or several, it's really hard to open back up in the future, so protect yourself because you may not get a second chance to do that or it'll take you years to be able to do it again because each time it gets harder...right now you're still open and trusting, but IF this guy does burn you, it's going to get you pretty bad, especially if you listen and take to heart everything he says and does.

 

Yes, people seem to have different situations and things happen, but there's often a pattern people don't recognize...and if you are not experienced and able to detect them yourself, you're going to make improper judgments and assessments analyzing their relationships. But women are notorious for being horrible at that, I know women twice your age that are still in your shoes now, still not really learning from those experiences even though their situations and the men in them are nearly identical...but each and every time they don't see it coming, so it's a good thing you don't sound that vulnerable...I don't see that happening with you, but you can get burned and scarred because if you're waiting and building this all up emotionally, establishing all this trust and faith, and this guy happens to be the type that's just selfish and after his own thing, then he's really really going to hurt you, that's when the situation backfires, because you do everything you do to trust and establish a relationship before that intimacy because of how YOU feel and think, you feel like everything is great and good and then the guy pulls the rug from underneath your feet, leaving you spinning out in outer space wondering what happened.

 

It's ok to experience these strong emotions and feelings just be smart and put them into context, it's ok to be expressive and enjoy these moments...but realize they can be just and in the moment kind of thing, don't open your heart up all the way because that's what you ultimately want to do, because you want to believe and trust him...instead resist the urge and give it time. One month is not a lot of time, neither is two and that's speaking from experience..look for more genuine and sincere gestures...forget the restaurants/events, the sweet things, and all of that...enjoy those things, but don't put so much value on those things because those are easy tickets for men to buy, that's not the hard part with men.

 

Get to know the guy, get to know the real person, instead of interpreting behavior which you will fail at guaranteed as a woman unless you're some miracle child, get him to tell you what it means to him, don't fill in all the blanks alone and don't make it obvious either, find out how he really feels when he's not just answering a question on auto-pilot. Find out about who he is and what's he's about, what his dating history and love life is like because that usually says it all nearly but found out where he is now emotionally, because if he's tied up on an ex or has some other hang-up, watch out...figure out his values, because anything guys offer you on a silver platter is exactly what they want you to see, so look beyond those things, the gestures, the sweet talk, the nice things...and a lot of that just simply takes time.

 

It's good that you hold off on sex but you're also putting a shiny bow on it for this guy and that's dangerous, that will filter out at least some guys right off the bat who don't want to wait around for sex but some guys are after your heart and your vagina. And a lot of guys will still pursue you and do nearly whatever it takes to get in your pants, it doesn't matter if they have to go into a relationship...so what, your ex walked away from that after 2.5 years, other men walk away much easier.

 

Anyway, this is more than I expected to write for now and ultimately I don't know how much this info will help you but maybe it'll give you some things to think about...to be fair a lot of women have trouble controlling what their heart is telling them after a certain point, regardless of what they know...it's almost like this craving they have, and the more they try and resist the harder it becomes until it just all collapses in one big event. But if you at least, hold back and reserve whatever you can, at least a section of your heart, maybe even save that for marriage or at least for further down the road...because it could really save you, just remember whatever you give out cannot necessarily be gotten back, so be careful who you love and do what you can to make sure they deserve it, nobody's perfect and love is a risk but that's not a reason to just throw it all away for the first or second thing that feels right...time will always tell, and you definitely need more of it right now.

 

Wow! Thank you so much for that. I really want to write more but im actually headed to work in a few minutes. I have a lot to think about. BTW can you private message me? I would love to read more of your insights on this situation....if thats ok...