Pleasant Surprise Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 Hi, a while back I made a post declaring my departure from this place. I'm still feeling great about how things panned out with my ex - we are on good terms. I am for the most part indifferent to her, minus maybe a few times I get a little sentimental and whatnot; it fades quickly. Anyway, I'm out from sports for two or so days because of injuries and honestly I'm just lazy haha. I got curious about how everyone who helped me was doing here. One person made a departure thread three days after mine...I like to think that I inspired/influenced them maybe. So I just wanted to share what helped me cope with my breakup. I still do a lot to help cope. At first I spent lots of time reflecting and crying and being sad. Posted and lurked here. It got to a point for me where I was just going in circles thinking about things. Analyzing is good for learning, however dwelling only hurts you. I also told myself a lot that she wasn't the best I could do and that she wasn't all that awesome. It helps to not put your ex on a pedestal and realize that you and her both weren't perfect -- the relationship is over so now it's time to see things realistically. You both have your good traits and bad traits. After thinking a lot I decided to stop letting her constantly invade my thoughts. Personally, my family went on vacation to a foreign country (no wifi or service) so I took this opportunity to get away from the phone waiting for contact, stop stalking her page and just enjoy myself. When I got home I pretty much immediately checked her page, I won't lie. I broke NC directly once as well. Nobody's perfect. And every situation is different. You hear plenty of horror stories here about breaking NC. Personally, it provided me with a little bit of closure to know that she wasn't mad at me for how I acted and helped me finally accept that what was in the past was awesome and it was time to move on to do more awesome things. Just go with your heart and ride out your emotions because forcing yourself to act a certain way toward your ex just requires too much thought and energy. Definitely pick up a new hobby. I've been playing football on my school' steam which is definitely tiring and I hardly think about my ex during the day. I'm still not 100% healed but I am happy to say that I don't need her and I accept that she doesn't need me. I'm moving on and she is too. I'm optimistic for the future and it excites me that someone can make me feel so good and that I'll get to experience that again. All of us will! Good luck in your recovery. This place could definitely use some positivity and I hope you all are motivated to keep on track with your recovery. Just go with your heart and reminds yourself that you are who you are and things happen for a reason. Things might suck now, but they'll be good again later in time! 3
Recommended Posts