Have to see ex everyday at school. How do I treat her? Everyday is painful.

[slappy3d]

So my gf dumped me 2 weeks ago. I know the best way to handle this is to have no contact at all. Well the difficult thing is she goes to the same community college as me, and is in some of the same classes. It's so hard when everyday I see her it's a painful reminder of the beautiful thing I lost. I'm assuming I must stop having lunch daily with her, and walking her out to her car, especially since she picked up a new guy one week later after our year and half long relationship. That was a real low blow to me, I don't get how she could do that. It's like our relationship was nothing.

 

She still callls me Mikie (the pet name she gave me), and will occasioanlly poke me playfully like she used to when we were dating. Yes I occasionaly caress her sometimes in ways that would make her new bf jealous, and she doesn't seem to mind. (Maybe because she was so used to it while we were dating) So I guess she doesn't hate me or want me out of her life. Since she is only 18 maybe she is doing the whole dating thing they go through at that age. Deep down I think she still has feelings for me because some of the reasons she dumped me were lame and immature. For example: I did something to hurt her a year ago and she still can't forgive me, and she said she needs to start thinking about long term relationships and although I'm the best guy ever she doesn't see me supporting my family because I still live with my parents and have no job. (Hey I'm 2 years away from my degree WTF! I have no bills and love my family. I do lots of side jobs so I have spending money and have lately started applying to get a steady job so I can move out in the future. I'm 21 btw. It's not like I'm playing video games all day).

 

The prolem I'm having is when I see her I hate her so much yet feel an equal amount of love. It's so easy to give in and be nice to her and treat her like a princess like I used to. but i feel in the long run it will just hurt me more. It especially hurts to know that when she leaves school she is most likely spending time with her new man. Fortunatley he doesn't go to my school so I won't see him regularly.

 

Of course I want her back but I'm not sure that is the best thing.

 

I need some advice: Is it best to totally ignore her, or do I treat her with extra care like when we were dating in hopes of getting her back? Or maybe some balance in between? Do I cut off all the privliiges like : waiting for her after class, carrying heavy books, etc.

[Blackout23]

man, thats some hard stuff... I'd say you keep NC because she moved on already and while you still feel the same, she lost some of that feeling and moved on to a new guy... I mean, if it was me... I'd forget her at least try because how can someone that loves you move on so fast? To me thats BS...

[voituregirl]

It must be so hard for you, but you seem to be a good guy and there aren't that many of you out there. I think that she is a bit of a player for moving on so fast, and she probably wants your attention too. She might not be aware of it, but I think that she needs a lot of attention. I think that it's a sign of immaturity and/or that she hasn't got enough attention in her family and/or she is unsure about what she can get and wants to try it out.

 

That kind of immature behavior will go away when she realizes that there are some a**h***s out there - at least I realized that when I was her age (now I am 24). She needs to grow up and get to know how good a relationship can be. Now she hasn't experienced that much yet and she has to do that in order to be able to commit herself to someone completely in the future. When she understands that you were great, she might want you back. However, that could take a couple of years, and I suggest that you move on with your life in the meantime.

 

And how you should treat her? With respect, talk to her, be nice in school but I think it's better for you if you don't see her more than that. By not talking to her you would only make her feel that she was right dumping you. On the other hand, if you give her a lot of attention and friendship she might use you as a "backup". Be nice, and she might eventually regret what she has done.

 

I don't think it's weird to live at home at your age, I did the same and I was studying too. I think you're smart to keep the costs low and invest in your future. She is wrong to think that bad!

 

Good luck and remember that there are other girls out there!

[tiki]

Ignore her. You're not showing her what it's like to live without you.