tory1012 Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) So I've come on here to ask for some advice and some guidance. I am currently in a relationship and we are engaged. We have been together for just over a year and I just am not sure whether he is the person I'm going to end up with. I do love him however I just think that too much has happened in our relationship for it to last longevity. I apologize in advance that this may be long, but I need to get every detail in to give you guys some perspective. So I moved into his house and his 3 other friends lived with us ( one has moved out and there are only two living there now). During this time I did develop a gambling problem and I overspent a few times and he had to cover me for my bills. I have paid him back in full for this + more. Now my pay goes into his account and he checks all my transactions and wants to know what ive spent my money on. I'm still doing a little bit of gambling here and there but not spending astronomical amounts on it + i'm saving money. I really do enjoy it and struggle to stop completely! For now I have it under control. Anyway, so I just feel as tho too much has happened in our relationship (re. fighting over the gambling.) Also when he's stressed about work or his money ( that I have not touched or spent) he takes it out on me. I'm so scared of leaving for that feeling of being alone and also I will miss his family. My family love him and they will probably be dissapointed. I just am unsure of what to do! I mean I would like to move out so I can have some independence as he has a real big mouth and he's told his family, friends and work collegues about it. Which when I think about it makes me so mad! He makes me feel like i'm such a dispicable person because of it. ( the gambling) It's so hard living in a house where it is all his friends! He thinks me moving out would be the end of our relationship because if we can't live together then we can't get married. Where I disagree I just think that I moved in too quickly and we have to share the house with his friends. What do you guys think? Please Id love some advice. Edited August 22, 2014 by tory1012
Poppyolive Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 I think your gambling addiction is causing issues and creating a dynamic in which you both are not happy. You don't want go stop gambling so I see this dynamic getting worse and will cause so much heartache & pain, to both of you. If you don't want to seek help, then let this man go. Go find someone that doesn't care about your gambling enough to monitor you. Let him find a women he doesn't have to watch over and a women that puts her addiction before her man. If it continues as is it will get worse.
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