May have to leave country, would like to say one last goodbye as a friend...

[mrspaceman]

Again I turn to this community as outside insight has been valuable.

 

As some of you may have read my other threads, you know my situation, but I tell you where we are at now.

 

This girl who I was dating for the past 1-2 months, but has been a friend for almost a year.

 

She said she had family visitors for a week and would contact me, it has been nearly 2 weeks and I have not heard from her. So obviously she is not "that" interested anymore, which I am relatively okay with now. I have not contacted her and giving her space.

 

I now just learned that I may have to leave the country I am living in and return to my home country. So now obviously a future with this girl is not really existent.

 

I would like to contact her to let her know that I may have to leave the country and ask her to meet me for a coffee in a non romantic environment so we could just talk as friends again.

 

Maybe she already knows, though it is hard to tell with her sometimes, but I wanted to express to her in person how much good of a friend she has been to me while living away from home and ask if she wanted to stay in contact as I have been teaching her English and she has been teaching me her native tongue.

 

I would really like to say one last "goodbye" or "see you later" as this seems like a very rare person you meet in a lifetime.

 

She also agreed to come to my birthday, but since I have not heard from her in some time, I am thinking that she will probably not attend, should I ask her about this in the same text or phone call? Or try to keep it short and sweet? I think if she is decent, then me stating that I may have to leave the country soon should be enough of a reason to meet?

 

Any advice on how I can contact her so that there is a strong chance of accepting this invitation?

[Gloria25]

Well, I don't see nothing wrong in inviting her over for a coffee...I just find it odd that you don't know for sure why you haven't heard from her in 1-2 weeks - especially if you were "dating".

 

I say to keep it simple. Tell her the truth. Let her know that you'll be returning to your country and would like to know if you could "treat" her to coffee - as she not only is a person you dated, but someone you valued as a friend.

 

I also recommend calling her. Don't text or message this invite.

 

Even though I suspect you still have feelings for her, and she probably is distancing herself because of your international situation, I still think it is a nice gesture to say a proper "goodbye"

[Elle1975]

It seems like it's an attempt at reaching out romantically rather than a friendly goodbye.

 

If I am wrong, then sure, why not. However, if I'm right, I'd probably leave it alone.

[mbee]

You are leaving the country and have been friends with her for a YEAR. I think this is obvious... obviously you should meet up and say goodbye. I get you guys were dating for the past month or two, but it comes down to what's important.

 

Would you rather look back on this and miss the opportunity to say bye to a friend you've known for a year just because she's not showing that much interest over the last 2 weeks.

 

I think sometimes we want the other person to play a mind reader. Your assuming the worst already. Your assuming she knows you are leaving, that she's not interested, etc. I've gone 2 weeks without seeing a guy I was dating before and had a good reason. Now if she doesn't make time to see you, knowing you are leaving then that's different, but give her the benefit of the doubt and remember the friendship comes first here. If she's someone you've known for a year, then don't leave and be dramatic and not say goodbye to her. If anything that would be a poor move on your part.

[mrspaceman]

Well, I don't see nothing wrong in inviting her over for a coffee...I just find it odd that you don't know for sure why you haven't heard from her in 1-2 weeks - especially if you were "dating".

I guess our last meeting was not so smooth and now she is distancing herself, see my other thread for the full story...

 

I say to keep it simple. Tell her the truth. Let her know that you'll be returning to your country and would like to know if you could "treat" her to coffee - as she not only is a person you dated, but someone you valued as a friend.

 

I also recommend calling her. Don't text or message this invite.

 

Even though I suspect you still have feelings for her, and she probably is distancing herself because of your international situation, I still think it is a nice gesture to say a proper "goodbye"

I am always truthful with her, I will try to keep it simple with a phone call first, if she does not call me back within a reasonable time, then I will send her a text about the situation and how important I feel it would be to say goodbye in person. If she has any value for our friendship, hopefully she can respect that.

[mrspaceman]

You are leaving the country and have been friends with her for a YEAR. I think this is obvious... obviously you should meet up and say goodbye. I get you guys were dating for the past month or two, but it comes down to what's important.

 

Would you rather look back on this and miss the opportunity to say bye to a friend you've known for a year just because she's not showing that much interest over the last 2 weeks.

 

I think sometimes we want the other person to play a mind reader. Your assuming the worst already. Your assuming she knows you are leaving, that she's not interested, etc. I've gone 2 weeks without seeing a guy I was dating before and had a good reason. Now if she doesn't make time to see you, knowing you are leaving then that's different, but give her the benefit of the doubt and remember the friendship comes first here. If she's someone you've known for a year, then don't leave and be dramatic and not say goodbye to her. If anything that would be a poor move on your part.

I agree, 2 weeks with a bit of distance is nothing compared to the last year we have known one another.

 

Very well said, that is what I needed to hear, thank you for your response.