Weird situation

[falc57]

Hey all...I've read these forums off and on in the past 2 years or so, but now this has been bothering me so thought I'd post, if anything just to get this off my chest. Here goes;

 

I went through just about a year of loneliness after a previous relationship ended in June 2013, and this past April a friend suggested trying Craigslist to find some company, which sounded like a godawful idea, but one night my curiosity got the best of me and I checked it out. Long story short, I ended up actually meeting a decent girl on there, who was having some family issues, and her mom went crazy (parents just got divorced) and kicked her out on the streets for a while, she lived out of her car for a few months and now lives back at home, apparently her mom and her made up.

 

Anyway, she's going back to school and we came to an agreement for her company I'd assist her financially...now this something I've never done in my life, and now 4 months later I've really developed feelings for her, we do have tons in common and she'll hang with me, and stay overnight and cuddle all night and maybe play video games every time we meet up.

 

I did tell her my feelings, but to add a twist she confessed she's bi and is in an open relationship with another girl, saying "I'm a straight girl but I tend to fall in love with sweet, nice girls". She then told me though that she really enjoyed spending time with me and likes me and is willing to see what happens.

 

I just don't know how to handle this though. In order to see her she kinda expects I'll have money for her, and that part kills me. I wanna see her all the time but I'm not draining my bank account lol. I never expected to get into this kind of 'arrangement' and it's like a dagger in my heart every time she leaves knowing I just had to pay for her being with me. I've been wanting to meet an amazing girl but not in this manner.

 

Should I cut her off, or see what happens? The logical side of me says cutting her off would be the wise thing to do, plenty of fish in the sea, but my heart wants to keep her around. What did I get myself into? lol

[Potz4prez]

That's like paying a hooker to play video games with you.

 

Go meet a girl that wants to hang out with you, not get paid to do it.

 

Or go buy a real hooker.

[ktya]

Sigh, what we do for love sometimes.

 

Women often cost money to keep around. At least your arrangement is out in the open about it.

 

Start reigning in the cash "donations". Take the lead and plan activities that you can pay for that are within your budget.

 

Have a chat with her about how much longer she needs help. If she's back with her mom's place that should make at least her need for food when your not around less.

 

Start focusing on how to get her some of her own income, temp work, a job, etc.

 

You set the frame by exchanging her company for helping her out financially, you need to switch the frame from that to exchanging her company for yours.

 

I had an ex girlfriend who turned out to be a gambling addict. She helped me out while I was looking for work big time so when I started working I felt obligated to help her. The requests for cash became ever more frequent and I got to a point where I felt enough was enough. I stopped carrying cash altogether and only carried my debit card. If she asked for money for gas, or a prescription or whatever I would just suggest that she take me there and I'd pay for it, to which she usually wouldnt take me up on the offer because it was the money she wanted. Eventually she wanted to "take a break" because I "wasnt financially ready for her" and I responded by breaking up with her.

 

You may be able to salvage what you have with her but you have to take first the cash exchange and then the paying for everything out of the equation. Get her working, even if it's doing odd jobs for you like cleaning your house.

 

If she bounces then you know what your relationship was truly based on.

[preraph]

She's a straight-up prostitute. She's not staying with you unless you pay her. She's probably very messed up from her parents and all, and you can't fix that.