blue_jay_bird Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 Im dating a introverted with the understanding hidden waters run deep. But i'm starting to come to the conclusion, he's just not the sharpest tool in the tool box. Example; He asked why I use such big words, and ask such hard questions. He also has a high resentment for higher education. I keep bouncing in between things I like about him and things I don't. But this above statement made me feel so alone. This isn't normal, is it? I mean, 2-3 months should be blue sky's and sunshine. I also don't want to break up with him. Which is odd. What do I do?
PegNosePete Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 It seems you don't have a very good connection with this guy. Sorry. I don't see it getting much better in the future. Sometimes hidden waters are just muddy puddles. 1
readynow Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 You probably don't want to break up with him because it's comfortable and you don't want to be alone. You both aren't compatible. You probably like intellectual discussions and smart conversations which he obviously doesn't enjoy. How will you endure the lack of communication when you would like to ponder on the meaning of life and he just wants to talk about what you're having for dinner? Might be best to let it go and find someone who 'gets' it.
Supernatural Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 I always think this with some girls I have seen. I ask deep questions all the time, talk about stars and the universe, and am intellectual, while always using cool words for fun. They reply "whoa, how do I answer that?", "Why don't you use normal people words?", etc. Some people really aren't deep at all. AT ALL. AT ALLLLL. And the second they answer things like that... I know we are NOT on the same level and that won't change. And staying in that shallow end of the pool because it's comfortable is okay.. But eventually; no matter how long you stay there if you're a deeper person, seeking more out of life... You will want to go diving for the rings in the deep end. So you might as well just go now... Most people stay in the shallow end. It's comfy. Few dive deep. It's scary. You learn who you are... OoOOOooooOOOo You're my kind of girl. Hey, I'm Supernatural.
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 Incompatibility right off the bat...whether he's as smart as a nail or just introverted...however judging from the conversation it seems you're going way over his head. Some people are simple...how they feel, is how they think and react...there's nothing more or less to it, nothing to think beyond outside the box of where they live and they know more or less what makes them happy. Others dwell, wonder, ponder or even hypothesize about this or that thought...provoking thoughts and ideals compel emotions and visions of amusement. Some waters run shallow, others run deep...just because you aren't finding something on the surface doesn't mean they're this endless sea of wonder...take it for what it is and expect nothing more, don't be the one hoping for something else only to find there isn't...and only because you wanted there to be more to it. 1
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 22, 2014 Author Posted August 22, 2014 "Why don't you use normal people words?", he said exactly that. Which completely shocked me. I would never think of saying that, it just shows how low brow you are. I got it, I know it. We aren't Romeo and Juliet. Fu ck. I'm pretty selfish. I know i'm not going to break up with him. I enjoy spending time with him. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I don't want to go back to where I was.. pretty lonely. Is it wrong to let this run its course? It's not like he's whispering sweet nothings into my ear telling me he loves me.
Supernatural Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 "Why don't you use normal people words?", he said exactly that. Which completely shocked me. I would never think of saying that, it just shows how low brow you are. I got it, I know it. We aren't Romeo and Juliet. Fu ck. I'm pretty selfish. I know i'm not going to break up with him. I enjoy spending time with him. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I don't want to go back to where I was.. pretty lonely. Is it wrong to let this run its course? It's not like he's whispering sweet nothings into my ear telling me he loves me. I don't think it's wrong just to let it run it's course. Treat it like a fling and treat it for what it is. Although if he starts getting attached - and you send this - and more emotionally invested, don't string him along. That's no good. Or tell him one day... I really like you, I'm just not looking for anything serious. Give him some sort of indication.
readynow Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 Blue_jay, thinking about it, I know some couples like this - one deep and intellectual, the other, a box of tools, and it works. As long as you're not expecting him to stimulate you intellectually and you can explore the depths of knowledge in other ways e.g, friends, forums, etc, he might just give you the freedom to do so without needing to compete with you... and you're not annoying him by being intentionally confusing. Happiness is very important so if he makes you happy, maybe it really could work. Not all relationships are made the same and the odd ones seem to last pretty long! 1
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