btvdts Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 ok met a girl. but I will have to explain everything to get the advice I need. how I met the girl... I was living in my old apts and was sitting outside my buddies apt patio when I noticed this beautiful girl moving in. When I had came over to my friends place, she was already basically done. I broke the ice by saying" hey there and welcome to our apts, I'm david..a little blah blah..but I was being friendly. she talked a bit to me and that was that. forward a few weeks.. ( I need to mention that I'm a shade tree mechanic..love cars!) one day I'm leaving my apts and notice her getting into her car...as she's pulling out in front of me I notice her tail lights don't work... I end seeing her leaving a couple of times following that and tail lights still out...ok ok this part may sound creepy but please don't judge...like title says I suck at dating... one night I decided to leave a note on her car.. saying hey there I noticed your taillight isn't working...just figured I'd let you know in case you didn't... I told her who I was (the time we met) and left my number..said if she needed help to give me a call...yes lame way to reach out to a girl... but I figured well if she thinks its creepy, she will get the light fixed, never contact me and that will be that.. she contacts me thanking me for letting her know...I say no worries ... a few weeks go by..(I'm drinking) and I decide out of the blue to text her..we text a bit then I ask if she would like to get together for coffee..she says yes...we go to coffee..have a great time(I'm super nervous the whole time) wellI send her text later and tell her I had a great time. she said she did as well and would like to see me again. I'm excited! I wait a few days...and ask her to dinner...she said yes...we go out...great time(or at least I had a good time). this is where my friends say I messed up. I didn't kiss her goodnight. It didn't feel like it was the right time. after that she kind of backed away.. a few days later I invite her to go get some ice cream..this is exactly what she texts me "I actually have plans tonight but it sounds delicious" I say no worries some other time.. a few days later(rainy day) I give her a call to see if she'd like to go to the movies...she doesn't answer, the next day I get a text saying this "hey I'm sorry I've been so absent, just going through a lot of things. just wanted to say sorry and I hope you had a good weekend". ok I think no worries.. now that was a few weeks ago.. I texted her a few times and I get answers from her... but its kind of bland answers. so where did I go wrong? and is there a way to fix things?
mightycpa Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Only two things... 1) I like the tail light thing, but the note was a little, not creepy, but .... not confident. I would have found a way to flag her down next time she drove by to offer to help. You know, meet her in person. Easier to judge things. 2) After the dinner date. If you weren't sure whether to kiss or not, there is a middle ground to help you decide that has always worked for me. At her door, when you're going to chicken out, tell her that you had a great time and you'd like to see her again. Tell her that you know it is short notice (women like that you recognize this), but is she busy tomorrow? You might go back and forth a little to arrange a time/day, but if you can secure the next date right then and there, THAT is when you kiss her. Not making out or anything, but a nice, firm, open mouth, no tongue first kiss. Not too long, not too short. Maybe a couple of seconds. Just right. Unless she pulls you in the door, leave. There's plenty of time to kiss her on the next date. Good luck! EDIT: I forgot. If she's gone bland on you, then it is an uphill battle. Might not be hopeless, but some other joker may have kissed her, and now you have to wait. Don't give up until she blows you off completely. Don't be afraid to ask her if she's seeing somebody else. Confidence!
Assasda Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 It doesnt sound bad. I dont think it has to do anything with you not kissing her. I think when youre on the dates you should have been asking her deeper questions, and not trying to be too polite. Also, I get the feeling that the dates that you go on are a little stuffy. I think you should ask her if she wants to go for a drink out at where you drink, also, call her on the phone. Male voices are attractive to females, so call her, small talk about her car. Then ask her to have a drink. I think you guys need a casual encounter 1
Zippy2000 Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 When you mention you asked her out for ice cream and then the movies with no counter off. She doesnt sound interested. Your actions show you like her but she has no actions what so ever and the bland answers she gives you show that too. Does she ask any questions about you? 1
Author btvdts Posted August 21, 2014 Author Posted August 21, 2014 thanks guys for the input. while at coffee and dinner I did ask her questions. I was trying to get to know her. In person, she did ask me questions, and even remembered what I said when I saw her the second time. I do get the impression that she's not interested because from what I've read here, girls will try to communicate with you as well. I do know that the common method for girls to let us know they aren't interested is to let it "fade away" not answering calls or texting. I find her to be a cool person, and could even see myself just being a friend, but I'm not sure if just because she's not interested in me romancatly, if that means she doesn't even want to be a friend.
bluesgirl Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 For me I think the note idea was super cute! If I were to go to my car and find that note I would think that was so sweet of you. I think it would have been more awkward to track her down and let her know. One thing about girls is that if were not that interested we will just let it fade like you said. I wasn't on this date with you guys but maybe she just didn't feel the chemistry with you. I don't think kissing her would have changed her mind. Usually girls know within the first 10 minutes of a date if they want to take it any further. I say it was a great learning experience and try to be her friend instead. I'm sure she has girlfriends that are single
mightycpa Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 I'm sure she has girlfriends that are single So true. That's why it pays not to get too infatuated with every girl you go out with. If you're decent to her, and there's no chemistry, invite her to those parties, tell her to bring her girlfriends, and introduce her to guy friends. Your circles will expand tremendously, and you'll get to do some pretty cool things. 2
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