red214 Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 what's the one thing that can make a guy run for the hills? i have been single for a while now (been playing the field) and i think i'm ready to settle down... however, it seems like the guys i was interested in seem to run away at the first sign of my "breaking down my walls." so, i feel scared to open up again and get hurt again.... but what is it that a woman do that just scares men away???? any thoughts???
emotionsmessmeup Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 if a man wants to be with u, nothing will stop him.. if he doesnt wanna be with u, nothing will convince him..
EC Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 If he reaches under your skirt and finds a cucumber.
Mz. Pixie Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Being too clingy, too high maintenance, or jealous. Those are three I can think of right away!
laRubiaBonita Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd If he reaches under your skirt and finds a cucumber. does it count if he put it there? if a guy Runs for the Hills it is usually 1. They do not want a commitment, just a girl. 2. They are just too immature to deal. If they split, give good riddance, and move on.
Butterfly28 Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup if a man wants to be with u, nothing will stop him.. if he doesnt wanna be with u, nothing will convince him.. Wow. I never thought of it that way! Well put!
alphamale Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 naming your future children after the 3rd date. oh and talking about any type of monogamous "commitment" before the six month mark. one last one...when you take her out for your first fancy-schmancy dinner and she orders the most expensive item on the menu and downs 4 glasses of expensive red wine.
whichwayisup Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Too touchy-feely, long glances and stares with the love in the eyes, (too intense-will freak him out- same goes the other way around too if men do it to women) talking too much about how they feel when they are together. And ofcourse the I love you waaaaayyyy too soon will put him off and he'll head for the hills. Jealously and asking too much of him, expecting alot.
d'Arthez Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 When opening up would reveal to the guy you are a way different person, than he had imagined you to be.
Butterfly28 Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale oh and talking about any type of monogamous "commitment" before the six month mark. I've been with my man for just over 6 months (as of 2/22/05). We are committed. We felt committed to each other around the 4 month mark.I think that's generalizing what u stated above. It all depends on how you feel in the relationship. (But alas, we are all entitled to our opinions!) I grabbed a quote from a previous post here that I believe is true: Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup if a man wants to be with u, nothing will stop him.. if he doesnt wanna be with u, nothing will convince him. I don't give a relationship ANY time restraints of when to feel something, when to "open up"...etc..etc. To me, if the relationship is on an even flow with both parties, then I say GO FOR IT. Enjoy it. U only live once.
alphamale Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by Butterfly28 I've been with my man for just over 6 months (as of 2/22/05). We are committed. We felt committed to each other around the 4 month mark.I think that's generalizing what u stated above. It all depends on how you feel in the relationship. (But alas, we are all entitled to our opinions!) well, BUTTERFLY28, the six month mark is my own personal rule. but for many it is 3 or 4 months and that is fine. but i think the minimum should be 3 months in any situation. it takes at least 3 months to learn enuf about the other person to even make the decision on any type of commitment like go or no go.
EC Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Point blank - If ya like the guy and the guy likes ya then I dont think you can do anything to scare him away and vice-versa.
tanbark813 Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Dressing up her little dog (pomeranian, chihuahua, etc..) in a sweater that matches her own and taking it to the mall with her to go shopping.
alphamale Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd Point blank - If ya like the guy and the guy likes ya then I dont think you can do anything to scare him away and vice-versa. i agree with this to a certain extent also. if someone is predisposed to liking you intensely you get much more leeway. actually you can treat 'em like shyt and they'll still like you.
miso Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 i am an expert at keeping men interested you have to first of all make them start guessing, do you really like them or not, you know like dont go out of your way to talk to them but then give them a sexy smile be bold tho, or stare at them but look down demurely when they look at you do ALL of these things, be mysterious, NEVER tell them you like them, get them so hot they chase you and then act surprised, play a little hard to get when it starts happening just go with it, dont ever make any demands, be yourself but dont ever tell them what your feelings are, dont be cold though, be nice you can say small clues about how you feel but dont lay it on thick, always keep them guessin most of all, have fun with it!
whichwayisup Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 i agree with this to a certain extent also. if someone is predisposed to liking you intensely you get much more leeway. actually you can treat 'em like shyt and they'll still like you. I agree with the first part and if two people are really into eachother the flow will just go on it's own. Alpha, why would ya WANT to treat someone like shyte in the first place??? On second thought...Don't answer that!
Hund1976 Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 If a guy really likes you and you don't do anything too insane you're probably good to go. If someone would get easily scared off just by you doing a few things wrong then he's probably not right for you. That's how you tell if someone's a keeper, if you do something wierd and they're still around then you found your match.
organic chemistry Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by emotionsmessmeup if a man wants to be with u, nothing will stop him.. if he doesnt wanna be with u, nothing will convince him.. why guys have to lead in the the dating scenario why can't girls take the lead, ask the guys out, make the phone calls, decided if they clicked...and dump the guys as well
red214 Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 thank you all for the replies!!! i agree with you all, if the guy is really into me, nothing would bother him (or as someone else has greatly put it, "stop him") regardless of the silly things i do. i guess this guy i've been seeing the past two months is really into me (he calls when he says he will, etc).... because on our first argument the other day, i was a total bitch (i had a valid reason), demanding, and a bit immature in a sense that i didn't want to understand where he was coming from... i realized that the next day so i felt horrible... and i got worried that i might've scared him off because of that behavior.... he did not call (he knew i was mad) which made me feel even worse.... but we talked last night. and everything is fine. and he said it wasn't a big deal at all... and he still wants to see me... (btw, we haven't been *intimate* yet. i really like him and i am taking things slow with him.) just an observation though...... if a woman is nice, sweet, and caring... it seems as though guys would run at the first sign of exit... but if women don't give a damn, somehow, men are attracted to that.... i don't get it..... so, do men really like bitches? i heard there's a book about it.... any thoughts???
Butterfly28 Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well, BUTTERFLY28, the six month mark is my own personal rule. but for many it is 3 or 4 months and that is fine. but i think the minimum should be 3 months in any situation. it takes at least 3 months to learn enuf about the other person to even make the decision on any type of commitment like go or no go. True enough. However my mother always used to say, "You never really KNOW someone until you LIVE with them" I betcha that's the truest statement I have yet to experience! LOL
alphamale Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by Butterfly28 True enough. However my mother always used to say, "You never really KNOW someone until you LIVE with them" I don't think you can ever know someone 100%. look at all the deranged criminals like serial murderes, bank robbers, mafia, etc... whose family and friends never knew what they did until they got busted. Classic example is the BTK serial murderer case that is now unfolding in the US. THis clown was elected a church leader a month ago.
moimeme Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 well, BUTTERFLY28, the six month mark is my own personal rule. but for many it is 3 or 4 months and that is fine. but i think the minimum should be 3 months in any situation. it takes at least 3 months to learn enuf about the other person to even make the decision on any type of commitment like go or no go. The first 3-4 months are all happy-shiny-lovey. You are both on your best behaviour - and it's not all sham. You want to be a better human and strive harder to do so. Somewhere between 3 and 6 months, the first cracks will start to show. The beginnings of issues that might grow into deal-breakers may make themselves evident. From 6 months to a year, you'll probably see the 'real' person. It's hard to keep up any sort of image that long unless it's honest. These timelines are dependent upon the people spending a lot of time together, though. The less time you spend together, the longer it takes for the relationship to switch into 'real' mode. However my mother always used to say, "You never really KNOW someone until you LIVE with them" I couldn't agree more. Live with someone for a year and you'll know if you're made of lifetime stuff or not. look at all the deranged criminals like serial murderes, bank robbers, mafia, etc... whose family and friends never knew what they did until they got busted. They're a small proportion of all humans and you'd find, I'm pretty sure, that the people living with them had 'gut feelings' something wasn't quite right but ignored them.
whichwayisup Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 I agree too, living together is a MUST! I knew my husband and I would be fine the day I moved in, but still ya really don't know how annoying somebody else can be unless you live with them! And trust me, HE IS SO ANNOYING (I'm sure I am too!) but I can put up with it and choose to walk out of the room, do something else or go out with some friends if he's in a grumpy mood etc. My previous b/f, there is NO way he and I could ever have lasted. I never lived with him, wouldn't want to because I think any love and nice caring feelings I had for him would have been spoiled by living with him. Boy am I ever glad we didn't end up together! I'm really lucky now to have someone amazing in my life who loves me for being ME.
iceisles Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Girls who have specific "criteria" scare me away. For example, I spoke to this one girl who insisted that a guy must be somewhat attractive, financially secure, polite, have a good sense of humor, trusting of their partner, etc. While most of these are reasonable requests, I don't think someone should verbalize all of their expectations straight up. It can be intimidating, and in this case, I didn't continue talking to her because I always felt like I was being compared against a mental checklist.
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