Dork Vader Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Been dating my ex and she has basically made it fairly clear I am a secret. She is not telling anyone anything about "us" I know it means one of two things 1. she's not ready to tell her friends and deal with that aspect of things. 2. There is another guy who her friends mutually know and she wants time to explore that. I'm fairly confident it is 1. but that's besides the point. I'm only willing to be in this "secret" zone for about 2 weeks or so. I generally feel that if after 2 weeks of talking/dating again she is not ready to tell her friends.. Then she never will be.. At the very least 2 weeks is ample time for her to decide if she wants to explore things with me. That should be the point at which she is ready to tell her friends this is my choice and defend it. Any suggestions on how to approach this subject and what to say? What not to say? I'm leaning towards just asking her if I'm still a secret if she says yes.. Then telling her how I feel about it. When she is ready for me to no longer be a secret she can call.
OwMyEyeball Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Rather than pick an arbitrary deadline how about just ask her why she feels the need to keep your dating a secret?
Author Dork Vader Posted August 20, 2014 Author Posted August 20, 2014 I already know this and it is because she's not ready to deal with her friends opinions. I know what this says.. But given the state of our past relationship I'm okay with and understand it. I suppose there could be more to it. But no solid evidence or reason to think that so until I have solid evidence I'm going to trust her word. I know if with in 2-3 weeks she's not ready to defend and stand by her choice. The odds of it changing in the future are slim. I'm willing to put up with it for another week or so. But after that I think she needs to decide what we are going to be and where we are going to go. Whether it's a friend, dating or what ever.. She should also be willing to tell her friends that. If it is just friendship that is fine. But I'm not going to be the "secret friend"
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