letsplaygofish2 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 About 2 months ago I started dating someone with the notion that we were both looking to eventually settle down and have a family. The guy and I got along great, but I realized that we had communication differences and my emotional needs weren't being met. During the relationship, we saw each other 2-3 days each week, I would stay the weekend and do all sorts of outdoor activities and it started to feel stable despite feeling the relationship needed a bit more elbow grease. Sadly, we broke up last week, mutually and we did so via telephone. I didn't like who I was becoming with him, he felt like I deserved someone more emotionally available. I wish he did it in person, but he doesn't like confrontations. We are both super type-A personality business people, no bull**** and what I enjoy about him most is that we are upfront and honest, with no games. Very refreshing! We both agreed that we wanted to stay friends, so last week we toned down our texting and communication despite the routine we created for the past 8 weeks. I sent him a long email telling him how wonderful he is, but we are two different people, but I am so grateful to remain friends. He thanked me for it and said he missed me, I missed him too - mostly because of the routine we had. Over the weekend he started to come around and we texted more, just casual stuff about what we did and how we are working on ourselves (we both had some baggage). This morning he FaceTimed me because he said he missed seeing my smile, I was so happy to see him too. We used to FaceTime every night. My friend almost ripped me an ******* for staying in touch with him. My question is this: I am experiencing a very healthy breakup where our expectations from lovers to friends has occurred in a week. We weren't fully in love yet, but was starting too. Has anyone else experience this? Good, bad? Yes, no? My friend says we should cut each other off for a while, I'm not allowing myself to grieve. I have grieved the loss of the relationship but have gained a friendship instead. He accepts me at face value and vice versa. No, I don't plan on FWB and he respects me enough to keep his boundaries. Do I still need NC? What is your experience with a healthy breakup, lovers to friends?
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 You still love him. What he's got to happen was you to slow down for a while. lol @ the realtionship needed some elbow grease. Seems like its better this way for him. He gets to keep you around and you dont pressure him into anything. The only way it will go sour is if he finds a different romantic interest. Then you'd probably want to go NC
Author letsplaygofish2 Posted August 20, 2014 Author Posted August 20, 2014 I'm not still in love with him because we never full fell in love! The guy was so guarded that I couldn't have a strong emotional connection, so it was more disappointing than expected. But yes, I do miss the intimacy of being in a relationship. I miss him because we dated for 2 months. I agree that this is better for him and there's no pressure. And I think I'll be ready to date again in a few weeks. I just updated my online profile tonight!
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