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She left and giving no sign after two fantastic dates, first kiss, brief weird chat

High Voltage

By High Voltage
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High Voltage Member

High Voltage

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Posted

First of all, i want to tell you that my English is not that good and i tried my best to write these lines. Thank you for not giving much importance about some grammatical faults i could make. Thank you for reading.

 

I met a girl online about 45 days ago, we talked for a month before we met for the first day.

 

1st date -It was a nice afternoon, she picked me up and we went to the sea side. the conversation on the road while she was driving was similar to what we were talking about online: Her life/mine/family/and how it was good to meet after all this time. ( she was the one who invited me for this first date, additional details about her invites at the end of this message). We arrived there, spent nice time, talked on the rocks till it got dark. we then went for a dinner together and back home.

The evening, we talked about how sweet the date was and all the stuff we people talk about after a first date. We continued to talk in a daily basis. and we managed to fix a time for a second date ( same place, same time of the day)

2nd date - Another afternoon, same plan. We arrived there, put some swimming suits on and we went to swim together ( simple touches, nothing else) we stayed after on some rocks watching sunset and then we kissed. back to her car, we continued kissing each other, touching each other till it got dark again.

Back home, i sent her a text message asking if she arrived safe ( since she always need to drive few mins after dropping me off ) : no answer. the next morning, she texted me : "Good morning, i passed my final exams" i texted her back: "Congrats, happy for you"

The next evening, she said hi on whatsapp ( we usually use this for our conversations and chats )

Me : Evening

Me : You had to reply back to my text msg yesterday, i was worried ( yes thats true, actually we had a problem on the road with her car )

Her : Yes, sorry but my phone was not topped up Me: It's ok, so happy for you.

Her : Thank you, i was happy as well Her : I was going to call you to meet but my friends invited me for dinner and we had it together

Me : It is ok, maybe it's the last time you gonna see them after UNI, so i think its a great idea to meet them.

Her : Actually not, we will see each other.

Me : Ok

Her : My back hurt cause of the rocks.

Me : Oh i'm sorry about that, bla bla blaa

(this part is useless) (...)

Me : I need your presence now...

Her : LOL, Why ? Now i was like what's going wrong. and got a bit mad

Me : Why this answer

Her : For nothing (Things are cold now, long silence) (another useless par)

Her : Good night, i'm off to bed.

Me : Yes this conversation was boring *I assume this fault, i regret telling that*

Her : Thank you

Me : You're complicating things

Her : Im not complicating anything

Her : Good night

Me : are you going to leave like that, you're shocking

And that was the end of this conversation. As you can see, her attitude was weird and this drove me crazy and mad, that's why i talked that way.

 

After this conversation, didn't know what action to take. been browsing some forums and they were talking about Freeze out, i applied this for 3 days and then i had a conversation with a friend of mine, she told me that i had to call her for apologizing about the 'boring conversation' line and thats what i did but she didn't answer and she didnt replied back to my texto "Hey A, when you're free, let me know. we need to talk Bye" and now no sign for about 72hours i think

I'm having bad times cause of this and i'm the kind of person who, when they have some similar issues, their minds just brings up other negative things in their life, so things get worse. i don't sleep well, always thinking about this strange behavior of hers and her attitude and don't know what to do and which action to take. What makes the situation more complicated to understand for me is that she was the one running after me ( running would be a lot but she was so interested ) she declared her like and her desire to see me before we meet.

Before i end narrating, i think i should give some details about her.

Age : 22 years old

-Shes having few problems with her mom, Her dad died a long time ago.

Her famous lines : - "I know some one and i'm afraid to tell him my feelings" that line was about me and she confirmed that in 2nd date.

- "I really need some one to kiss this night and make out with" That one was weird and i asked her if she wanted that with anybody but told me "no, some one i love"

- and the most scary one "I usually meet guys, 2,3 times and then they disappear or i do when things get serious" this line was too complicated to explain, i remember asking her about that after, and linking it to me and she said "No, you're special and you're the first one i pick up with me in my car"

- "Mom thought me that declaring my feelings and love is a weaknesses" that one is scary. But i hope guys, you don't concentrate on that and on my situation with her and what i did wrong.

How she invited:

Me : 1st time

Me : What are you doing this afternoon.

Her : I'll see you! Her : Do you want to go to the seaside ?

Me : When ?

Her : In an hour ( we fixed time and place after )

2nd time

Her : At 4pm, same place. we will go to our spot again. Ok ?

Me : You canceled your meeting with your friend ?

Her : No, she is not coming !

Me : Okey, i'll be there.

Now, i really need to understand : What i did wrong ? What made her leave ? What actions to take ?

Thanks to everyone who read my message and to everyone who replied back to it. I gave it a lot of reads before posting it, so it can respect the rules here. if anything about this message is not respecting rules here, i'm sorry and would be happy to correct it. Thank you again

Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted

As far as I read. Youre the one putting pressure on her.

Being needy.

And saying "I need your pressence now"

 

Calm down.

 

You got like a needy child so she left you alone, anyone would

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High Voltage Member

High Voltage

Posted
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Posted (edited)
As far as I read. Youre the one putting pressure on her.

Being needy.

And saying "I need your pressence now"

 

Calm down.

 

You got like a needy child so she left you alone, anyone would

 

Hello Assasda,

 

Thank you for your answer. I had not the attention to be some one needy when writing that line. i just wanted to express something i had on my mind and not hide it. so i wrote her that line.

 

How come a sincere heartfelt line make her leave and freeze the electricity-we have been 'building'- out with making out, flirting, talking ? That would surprises me. Thank you again for your answer.

Edited by High Voltage
Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted
Hello Assasda,

 

Thank you for your answer. I had not the attention to be some one needy when writing that line. i just wanted to express something i had on my mind and not hide it. so i wrote her that line.

 

How come a sincere heartfelt line make her leave and freeze everything -we have been 'building'- out ? That would surprises me. Thank you again for your answer.

 

Yeah get hold of your emotions.

If you feel you need to express things, talk to a therapist.

 

You are both getting to know each other and you act so emotional.

IT IS HER that should be emotional.

 

It is unattractive for a woman. It doesnt matter what your intention is, all that matters it that you did it.

 

I didnt read the whole thing, so I imagine you put even more pressure on her for no reason, whatsoever

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High Voltage Member

High Voltage

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yeah get hold of your emotions.

If you feel you need to express things, talk to a therapist.

 

You are both getting to know each other and you act so emotional.

IT IS HER that should be emotional.

 

It is unattractive for a woman. It doesnt matter what your intention is, all that matters it that you did it.

 

I didnt read the whole thing, so I imagine you put even more pressure on her for no reason, whatsoever

 

Thank you again for your answer and sorry for the long message.

 

First time i heard that it's unattractive and thank you for pointing that out.

No, i don't need a therapist. :) It's just i wanted to give the conversation another feeling and identity and move it to something else but it did not work and sorry for that.

 

What's next now ? A freeze-out ? any chances she would make some come back ?

 

Thank you again for your answers.

  • Author
High Voltage Member

High Voltage

Posted
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Posted
New here so not sure my opinion matters. I was reading posts so I can figure out how to ask my own

 

Saying nothing is a skill you are lacking. Back off rather than keep a conversion going. Be positive and wish her a good evening and you look forward to seeing her again...none of this needy stuff.

 

Also, your description oh her history is suspect. You should be looking at yourself and not her. Don't deflect the issue. If you know all this about her then why the awkward self-defeating comments on your part?

 

Hello, Welcome. i'm new here as well.

 

"Saying nothing is a skill you are lacking" You're right! I should work on this for next my next experiences. the reason behind not being good at that is i always have this idea that the other person would take the silence badly.

 

for the last part of your messages, those were just some random facts i wanted to point out. I never give much importance about them. but i said to myself maybe they would help.

 

Thank you again for reading!

  • Author
High Voltage Member

High Voltage

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Any ideas guys how to repair this - btw, her birthday in two weeks - or i should forget about her ? I'll appreciate your answers. :)

Edited by High Voltage
Assasda Established Member

Assasda

Posted
Posted

I think you made the wrong decision by apologizing.

 

You also made a poor decision of getting emotional, and thats the worst, then girls dont trust you with THEIR feelings.

 

Move on man.

You already contacted her, she has your number.

 

Youve just got to move on

  • Author
High Voltage Member

High Voltage

Posted
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Posted
I think you made the wrong decision by apologizing.

 

 

I actually did not at the end, i called her for doing so but she did not answer and sent her a text message asking her to contact when she's ready to talk.

 

Thank you again Assasda. :)

 

That's the only option left for me: i better move on.

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