Intensive or normal

[saz123]

Hi,

 

I'm 19 and my boyfriend is going on 22. We have been together 2 years now and everything is going great.

 

The part I most need advice with is this - we were chatting the other day just a calm normal chat about other boys and girls we both see when we're out. For example clubbing, pubs and could even be shopping. But whatever. The conversation went onto us chatting about boys hairstyles and he says "I bet you see loads of attractive guys with good hair on a daily basis" and I answered back saying "Yeah of course - but to me you're the most attractive" ... Typical girl, right? And of course I go on to say "I bet you see loads of pretty girls out and about then" and he denys it at first but carried on to say "To be honest I see a lot of pretty girls" and then I ask "Prettier than me?" And he goes "yeah I've seen a few prettier than you, but they're older than you".

 

Prettier than me? I'm not amazing, that's not what I'm saying. But what does this mean. Should my boyfriend really of said that?

 

You can tell me I'm being petty. I'm sure other girlfriends would see where I'm coming from.

[MissBee]

Hmmm...personally I wouldn't have really asked the question "Prettier than me?" Of course you wanted him to say yes whether it was true or not...I get it...and he went with the truth instead of saying "Of course not prettier honey." He could have played it differently...but I wouldn't worry about it.

 

He's with you and he likes you and thinks you're pretty...even if he may think in a more objective sense that some women are prettier (which isn't a crime).

 

I think some men are more handsome than my boyfriend but it's not like I'm gonna leave him to be with them or even care or think about them. I'm sure my bf probably feels the same, although tbh he's weird lol, I will show him pictures of women on tv, in magazines etc and ask if he thinks they are pretty and he almost never thinks so. I try to gauge his type but women I think he would like or who I think are gorgeous he does not and I'm like wtf...I think he's identified about 4 women he considers beautiful...I'll be seriously curious like okay who do you think is pretty??? He will say "I think you're pretty...Rihanna too..." lmao I'm like wow okay. We'll even be watching Youtube and I'll watch makeup videos and many of these women are gorgeous and he'll be like "You think she's prettier than you? Nope..." He seems sincere about it too.

[54JA]

I don't think you need to worry about it. It's probably best if you just try to (I know it's annoying) let it go. If you pursue it, press him and question his attraction to you, then you might have additional problems with him.

 

It's tempting to find out what our boyfriends find attractive, but talking about it does not really achieve anything. It's all about ego and nothing good comes of it. This is why I don't even talk about or try to get my boyfriend to compare me to other girls. I find many men attractive (mostly celebrities, though), but I don't say anything because it only makes the other person feel crappy. I don't ask him if he finds a certain girl attractive, because I'm sure he does. Hearing him say it is not going to do anything. He's with you because you two are a match in so many other important areas. I think that's what matters.

[saz123]

Hmmm...personally I wouldn't have really asked the question "Prettier than me?" Of course you wanted him to say yes whether it was true or not...I get it...and he went with the truth instead of saying "Of course not prettier honey." He could have played it differently...but I wouldn't worry about it.

 

He's with you and he likes you and thinks you're pretty...even if he may think in a more objective sense that some women are prettier (which isn't a crime).

 

I think some men are more handsome than my boyfriend but it's not like I'm gonna leave him to be with them or even care or think about them. I'm sure my bf probably feels the same, although tbh he's weird lol, I will show him pictures of women on tv, in magazines etc and ask if he thinks they are pretty and he almost never thinks so. I try to gauge his type but women I think he would like or who I think are gorgeous he does not and I'm like wtf...I think he's identified about 4 women he considers beautiful...I'll be seriously curious like okay who do you think is pretty??? He will say "I think you're pretty...Rihanna too..." lmao I'm like wow okay. We'll even be watching Youtube and I'll watch makeup videos and many of these women are gorgeous and he'll be like "You think she's prettier than you? Nope..." He seems sincere about it too.

 

Thank you

 

And omg same... I watch YouTube videos of girls doing makeup tutorials and my boyfriend would say the exact same thing. But he goes and said what he said about older girls being prettier.

 

I guess it's obvious older girls would be prettier to him than I am, simply because they're older.

 

I should of just accepted it in the first place! You're right though, I appreciate your reply! He likes me and only wants me, that's the main thing. Still hurts though; knocked my confidence sort of thing.

[saz123]

I don't think you need to worry about it. It's probably best if you just try to (I know it's annoying) let it go. If you pursue it, press him and question his attraction to you, then you might have additional problems with him.

 

It's tempting to find out what our boyfriends find attractive, but talking about it does not really achieve anything. It's all about ego and nothing good comes of it. This is why I don't even talk about or try to get my boyfriend to compare me to other girls. I find many men attractive (mostly celebrities, though), but I don't say anything because it only makes the other person feel crappy. I don't ask him if he finds a certain girl attractive, because I'm sure he does. Hearing him say it is not going to do anything. He's with you because you two are a match in so many other important areas. I think that's what matters.

 

That's all I need to hear, thank you

 

The last bit you wrote about being a match in other important areas is key, and that's all that does matter.

[preraph]

Hey, like I used to tell my dear old mom, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. It means nothing. He's with you. He can't get those other prettier girls. Relax.