avoforastig Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I've been dating a woman for the past few months and I keep finding myself overthinking things instead of just going with the flow. I've also never had a relationship quite like this. Two other relationships of significance were sort of an instant head over heels in the beginning. This seems to be of a more taking it slow kind of thing. I've also never been pursued by a woman before. Any tips on how to stop over-thinking? Can a relationship succeed if both partners aren't head over heels immediately? I just feel really confused and not sure where the relationship is going to go.
nadine5 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Ugh, I know what you mean. Almost all of my past relationships have been sooo fast-paced; it makes me uncomfortable when it moves at a "normal" pace! For example, I read an Internet article that said you should wait 90 days before "I love you"... I almost had a heart attack!
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 avoforastig I think you are male. Anyway, why the heads over heals feeling. She's a normal person like you. If you want to treat her well, think of her as your bratty little sister, just follow along like that and you'll be fine
Author avoforastig Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 avoforastig I think you are male. Anyway, why the heads over heals feeling. She's a normal person like you. If you want to treat her well, think of her as your bratty little sister, just follow along like that and you'll be fine I'm just really confused as I don't have that head over heels feeling. She seems like a wonderful person but at times something just seems missing and I can't figure it out. It's been maddening actually as she seems to have everything I'm looking for, but I just don't have that head over heels feeling. Do you think I'm just trying to force the issue?
Assasda Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I'm just really confused as I don't have that head over heels feeling. She seems like a wonderful person but at times something just seems missing and I can't figure it out. It's been maddening actually as she seems to have everything I'm looking for, but I just don't have that head over heels feeling. Do you think I'm just trying to force the issue? Youre growing up to be a man, thats why you dont have that feeling. So control yourself, stop trying to feel women's feelings and have fun with the girl. hahahaha have fun, stop trying to figure out what you should feel
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I'm just really confused as I don't have that head over heels feeling. She seems like a wonderful person but at times something just seems missing and I can't figure it out. It's been maddening actually as she seems to have everything I'm looking for, but I just don't have that head over heels feeling. Do you think I'm just trying to force the issue? Give it a while, but not too long. If you don't feel like you're falling in love with her, end it before she gets too attached. I spent months with a guy I never fell in love with even though he was a great person. You'll know when it feels right.
Author avoforastig Posted August 20, 2014 Author Posted August 20, 2014 Give it a while, but not too long. If you don't feel like you're falling in love with her, end it before she gets too attached. I spent months with a guy I never fell in love with even though he was a great person. You'll know when it feels right. How long should I give it? Before her, I had been on many dates that went nowhere and it was getting very depressing.I really don't want to hurt her feelings. I whole heartedly think she is a great human being who is highly compatible with me. At times though, I just feel like a certain connection isn't there or not growing. I've had my heart crushed in the past. Is being "head over heels" just for your first love? Is it wrong to primarily think logically and not more emotionally about a person?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 How long should I give it? Before her, I had been on many dates that went nowhere and it was getting very depressing.I really don't want to hurt her feelings. I whole heartedly think she is a great human being who is highly compatible with me. At times though, I just feel like a certain connection isn't there or not growing. I've had my heart crushed in the past. Is being "head over heels" just for your first love? Is it wrong to primarily think logically and not more emotionally about a person? No more than a few months. You sound exactly like me (he and I were compatible, and sometimes things felt very right...but sometimes they didn't, at all). She will be hurt, but it's much better to do it now than let it last for years while you try to convince yourself you're happy until you finally have to say "I love you but I'm not in love with you". And no, being "head over heels" is not just for your first love. You should always think both logically and emotionally about someone you care for. Let me clear: there is so, so much more to a good relationship than infatuation. That passes quickly anyway. But that spark, that chemistry, that irrational urge that makes you want to be with somebody even while you're waiting in line together at the DMV---that matters, and everyone deserves it. 1
Supernatural Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 Let me clear: there is so, so much more to a good relationship than infatuation. That passes quickly anyway. But that spark, that chemistry, that irrational urge that makes you want to be with somebody even while you're waiting in line together at the DMV---that matters, and everyone deserves it. That good. That's really good. I agree. Everyone deserves that connection.
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