1charmingone Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 About 2 months ago, I came in contact with this girl on Match.com and we messaged back and fourth for close to a month and she offered her cell and suggested we text. I am divorced and age 45 with one child age 8. She is widowed age 41 with 3 children age 17, 15, and 4. We text daily back and fourth for a few weeks and just before I left for vacation, we met for dinner. We talked and talked and even after the restaurant closed; we stood outside and talked for another hour. I think 5 hours total time past. While I was on vacation we Text frequently and she would send me pics and I would send her pics. No nudity, just pics of kids and daily activity. Seems we have so much in common. Her best friend sent me a message and told me that she thought I was great while I was away on vacation. On our initial dinner date, I made a comment about a bracelet she was wearing and she had told me she wanted the matching necklace to go with it but couldn't find it while she was on vacation. We share the same birth month and she had her birthday the very day I flew out for vacation. While I was gone, I found the necklace and got it for her as a birthday gift. The whole time I was gone, we both text how excited we were to see each other again and made plans to meet for dinner again when I got home. We met for dinner just 2 days after my birthday and when she met me she had cupcakes and a gift for me. I have her the necklace I got and told her happy birthday and she wished me the same. She was thrilled over the necklace and it wasn't expensive. Just costume jewelry that matches her bracelet. She couldn't believe I remembered her saying she was looking for it. A little background on her. She has recently broke up with a guy she dated for two years and was miserable with that had burnt her. On our second dinner date everything was going fine and I can feel the attraction between us. Both of us are rather reserved people and I'm a gentleman by nature and very respectful. After dinner, we drove around and talked and when I went back to take her too her car, she looked me in eye and made the statement that she didn't know what I was looking for but that she didn't know at this point what she wanted that the last guy burnt her so bad that she has a bad taste and is kind of enjoying her time. From what she has shared with me, she actually got so she dreaded knowing when he was coming around and her kids strongly disliked him because of treatment. Her comment kind of threw me for a loop because things have been going well and I didn't know how to respond so I just told her I was playing it by ear, taking it a day at a time, and that I was very interested in her. When I walked her to her car, she hugged me tightly for a while, rubbed my back and I kissed her on cheek. When she got in her car, she told me she would text me as soon as she got home. She did and she not only text me she got home but thanked me for another wonderful evening and her gift. Since then, we have still texted back and fourth daily as she is not much of a phone person. She's even shared things withe that she says she's not shared with anyone. She's told me I'm special and she keeps telling me how sweet I am. I asked her out agin, but she already had plans with her family for a family get together. Since then, we've stayed in contact texting and yes it appears there's been some flirty texts. I find myself thinking about her constantly and she even text me that she had thought if me. I think she knows I like her. My self esteem has taken somewhat of a beating since my divorce where I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with my now ex wife. My question is how should I take what she said about not knowing what she wants given the fact that by all appearances it seems she has an interest and an attraction to me? Is there a possibility that this will blossom into a relationship which is what I'm ultimately interested in with her? I know she's very protective of her kids just from what I do know and likewise, I'm very protective of my own.
Gaeta Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 This is a normal knee jerk reaction from a woman that has not spent enough time licking her wounds. Help me count here. Her youngest is 4 y/o. She has dated a man for 2 years. Did she take any time off after her husband died? Sounds like after he passed she was left with 3 children including a baby and she jumped right into this abusive relationship? Who dates so soon after a death, not mentioning 3 children mourning their dad and a toddler! Do not invest any hope and feelings in this woman.
msmolecule Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Wall of text crits you for 4,000,000,000 hit points. You die.
melodicintention Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Too much texting, sound like that's all you do. I can't say any relationship based on communicating outside of in-person contact has any future. I feel sorry for you kids nowadays and all the damn texting you rely on. Best advice I can give is call the girl and speak to her in person, get to know her in person, not by relying on using 160 characters or less at a time. You ruin the whole experience of getting to know someone by all the texting before you meet them in person.
Mrin Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Holycrap I made it through that wall of text. Ok here is there translation IMHO... "she looked me in eye and made the statement" Mrin: she wanted to see how you would react "that she didn't know what I was looking" Mrin: hope that you werent just looking for sex or a serious relationship "for but that she didn't know at this point what she wanted" Mrin: cause neither are gonna happen "that the last guy burnt her so bad that she has a bad taste" Mrin: cause she's not over the last douche "and is kind of enjoying her time." Mrin: but likes hanging with you and if you don't rush her who knows. She might be down for one or both of the above but no promises. So you need to be okay that this is all she's willing to do - text and go to dinners - but there could be more. Maybe. But no promises. Cause she doesn't really know. So now that that's clear... Either she gets over her hang up or she doesn't. Honestly i would give her a few more dates/weeks like this and see what happens. If you don't see it progressing after a few more rounds then it probably won't.
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 That post could have been cut down a lot. Anyway, What she is saying to you is that "She trusts you, She wants to have fun with you, but she doesnt want to be pressured. But she likes you" Also I dont believe that anyone can emotionally abuse you without your consent. So that means little to me. If someone emotionally abused you, and you took it, you contributed to your emotional abuse
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