Flozfzx Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Hello everyone I'm new to these forums and just need advice. At my job i started quick chatting with a girl from time to time just the usual "hi how are you" "hows the family" just quick conversions for 3 weeks. I was talking to her then i just randomly ask her out for lunch if she wanted to go she told me she gets out at 4 i got confuse for a bit and asked her again for lunch she told me she couldn't leave to go out for lunch because of her job i said oh ok np. At this point i didn't want to push it more so i left it like that and she politely said thank you for the offer. I know she didn't say no but seem like she did want to go but her job she wasn't allow. Just need advice if should wait maybe other few weeks then ask her if she'll like to get some cafe after work or what you guys think? The other thing is this girl is 21 and i am 30 is that too much of a gap? Stability i think it is but please give some feed back would appreciated thank thank you.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I'm not hung up by the age gap because you seem to be at similar life stages since you work together. I realize you asked her for lunch & got turned down BUT she explained why and she told you when she got off work. When she said no to lunch but told you what time her job ended, she was expecting you to follow up with "well how about we get together after work?" If you are still interested ask her for a drink or coffee. 2
Lernaean_Hydra Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 If she really wanted to go out with you she would've made a plan to reschedule since at the time going out wasn't possible. If she were into you her most likely response would've been "Sorry, I can't because XYZ but how about another time?" or "Maybe tomorrow?" or "How about dinner instead?" etc. You see where I'm going with this? Wait a few weeks if you want but I don't think her interest level is that high. The age gap isn't that big of a deal because 9 years is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. It's the respective ages themselves that could pose an issue. Unless you're operating at the level of a high schooler, the difference between 21 and 30 is more like the difference between 25 and 40. You're at two totally different points in your lives and your attitudes towards dating are likely wildly different. I'm not saying it couldn't work, I'm not saying she's definitely not interested but when I was 21 (two who years ago!) I would have been neither interested nor enthusiastic about the advances of a 30 year old man.
mightycpa Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 i am 30 <sigh> and you don't know how to ask a girl out? </sigh> The more I read these questions, the better my advice gets. Here is my advice to you: Go out there, ask some girls out, and make your mistakes. Make a lot of mistakes, have some successes. Pay attention to how girls react to the things you say and do. Put yourself out there, even when it feels difficult. Don't hesitate, just do it. Then, at 31, hopefully you won't have to come to a forum to ask how to ask a girl out. I know I sound mean, but you need to hear this. It's the best advice you'll get all day. 1
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I think she thought you said do you want to go out, and she told you what time she was off work. Good lord man get some game.
Author Flozfzx Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 You guys are absolutely right and ill take those great advice. just been out the game for a while after my break up lol. Ill wait a few days before asking again if she doesn't want its whatever life moves on.
GemmaUK Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 How are your employers about dating co-workers?
Author Flozfzx Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 How are your employers about dating co-workers? I work at building as a maintenance mech she not a coworker i randomly see her around the building.
deathandtaxes Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 This is a rejection. She didn't make a counter-offer. Her response was kind of confusing. Unless getting off at 4pm means she is working through lunch. You could have asked to do something after work. I say wait it out a week or so and then ask again - maybe some happy hour stuff. If you still get rejected, then write this one off.
Elle1975 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Seems like a polite way to say thanks, but no thanks.
smackie9 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Seems like a polite way to say thanks, but no thanks. Being vague is being polite? it's being a cowardly, and can be misleading. How about "sorry no I'm not interested,." or is that being too rude?
Author Flozfzx Posted August 22, 2014 Author Posted August 22, 2014 (edited) Hello again so i found out that the girl that works in my building that i asked out for lunch and said she couldn't because of work told mostly everyone in her suite that i asked her for lunch which i found out from one of her co workers. Her co worker didn't say nothing negative in the way she said it but nothing positivity but she did explain that they only have 30 mins for lunch which is awful not much to do. But how should i take this as a good sign or bad feel awful asking advice but never hurts hear from wise and more experience people. Edited August 22, 2014 by Flozfzx
smackie9 Posted August 22, 2014 Posted August 22, 2014 Hello again so i found out that the girl that works in my building that i asked out for lunch and said she couldn't because of work told mostly everyone in her suite that i asked her for lunch which i found out from one of her co workers. Her co worker didn't say nothing negative in the way she said it but nothing positivity but she did explain that they only have 30 mins for lunch which is awful not much to do. But how should i take this as a good sign or bad feel awful asking advice but never hurts hear from wise and more experience people. Please stop doubting yourself, you haven't even got out of the gate yet. In the dating game, over thinking everything is going to ruin things for you. Confidence is priority. Ask her out for a quick drink after work somewhere close by in walking distance that is casual. It's Friday, ask her out again.
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