Mary Oak Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 so... for those of you that have fallen out of love... what does it feel like? Expecially for relationships that have been long term... say over seven years or so.... seems like most relationships last about five years, so I would say at least longer than that... what does it feel like to fall out of love with someone you really did loved?
HeartDesires Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Hi Mary Oak, I don't have the answer but this is what I want to know : Why do people who have fallen out of love lie to their partner and continue to say the words "I love you" right up until the bitter end?...what I mean is - the relationship ends, and then you learn that your partner actually had fallen out of love with you years ago. What's up with that?
RonaldS Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 It's like any other dulling of a sensation. Happens slowly and you don't even realize it at first. At some point, the things you once enjoyed and looked forward to, you now dread and dislike.
Zeurich Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I was married for 12 years. We were divorced 5 years ago. Honestly I love my husband very much and I was being good wife all the time. But we had to go through a divorce due to his cheating with his college girl friend. I let him free to go. Yes it is hard, I was in pain, I lost my concentration, all the sudden I did not know what I should do when I come to work. I can say it is hard when it is not your own fault. The feeling betrayed ,being used hurt a lot. But I have worked them out little by little it took time of course. But by the time everything will be okay. Are you experiencing trouble? With no reason you would not ask that question or are you just curious? 1
Damaged217 Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I knew that I was falling out of love with my ex when I started to get annoyed by everything that he did. I was repulsed by everything. I never wanted to have sex with him.
SJS Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I think a lot of people mistake complacency or maybe even being bored as falling out of love. It can't be rainbows and unicorns all the time. Having said that though, even during moments when I really dislike my husband, I still get butterflies when he comes home from work, we smile at the sight of the other walking into the room at a party, etc. We've been together for 20 years. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I was with my (ex) husband for a total of 20 years before we divorced (4 years dating and 16 married). My falling out of love was VERY gradual until I finally woke up and realized that I couldn't pretend to be happy and in love anymore. That was the beginning of the end for us. I love my ex husband and will until my last breath (as he feels the same way with me) but I am no longer in love with him. Two very different emotions.
Targetlock Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 i never want to know this feeling and hopefully never will
marcjb Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 After the honeymoon phase, actual love is a CHOICE. If someone "falls out of love" it was most likely never really there and just infatuation which is now gone. Too many people mix up infatuation and the honeymoon phase with love. Love is working through the good and bad for years and years and years, not being together or 1, 2, 2 and a 1/2 years and then telling someone you're "not in love with them anymore".
Michelle ma Belle Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) After the honeymoon phase, actual love is a CHOICE. If someone "falls out of love" it was most likely never really there and just infatuation which is now gone. Too many people mix up infatuation and the honeymoon phase with love. Love is working through the good and bad for years and years and years, not being together or 1, 2, 2 and a 1/2 years and then telling someone you're "not in love with them anymore". I'm going to disagree with this. Although the ACT of love and/or loving someone/anyone and expressing love to all things IS a choice, falling into or out of love is not in my humble opinion. I don't know anyone who can sit in a chair and see someone across the room and think to themselves, "I'm going to fall madly and deeply and unconditionally in love with that person!" and TA-DAAAA! Same goes for falling OUT of love. It's just not that simple or black and white I'm afraid. I also disagree with your comment that anyone who falls out of love wasn't ever really in love in the first place. You couldn't be more wrong on this point. I'm living proof that you can fall madly and deeply in love with someone and wrap yourself completely and totally around another person for YEARS only to realize that feelings have changed usually due to many years of struggle and needs not getting met. As I've already said, falling out of love with someone does NOT necessarily mean you STOP loving them (barring any kind of abuse). If THAT is indeed the case then perhaps your theory that real love wasn't ever present in the first place makes some sense otherwise I don't agree with anything you've said. Edited August 21, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle 1
marcjb Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) I never said that someone can magically force themselves to fall in love with someone else. I'm referring to people that have been "in love" for a year or two, and then one person tells the other that they are no longer "in love" with them. More like the honeymoon phase wore off and real life set in. They don't understand that after the honeymoon phase is when the real love and relationship actually happens. It's a conscious love vs blind "love" based on infatuation. Edited August 21, 2014 by marcjb
Recommended Posts