MissLY Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I went on 2 dates with someone who seemed fairly interested in me. I never showed an insane amount of interest, but I never acted cold either. I displayed excitement when we met in person but when it came to texts I acted relatively neutral with my responses. I also told him that I was seeing someone who he happened to know, but I told him that it wasn't really working out between us. (I probably should've kept my mouth shut about that.) Anyway, he reached out on my birthday and asked me out on a 3rd date. I said "Sounds great to me, thanks for the birthday wishes!" But I never heard from him after that. I thought about reaching out, but I figured if he was really interested then he'll be the one to follow through. One month later he invites me to his birthday party. I end up going with 2 friends and he's excited to see me, hugs me, talks to me, but he doesn't mention anything about dating again. Instead he asks me "how come a girl like me isn't wifed up yet". I just laughed it off and smiled. He was quite drunk that night. One week later he thanks me for coming to his birthday and that it was a pleasure to have me. One week after that, he invites me to an event by the beach. "You should come hang out on Sunday if you aren't busy.." I wasn't sure if he was inviting me to come alone, or if he expected me to come with friends. Either way, I didn't go because I wasn't feeling well that day and I told him that. I also made it a point to keep the conversation going, so he could see that I was still interested. That was a week ago. Haven't heard from him since. What do you think is going on? Does he just want to be friends? I'm a little confused by his actions. I probably should be moving on but I'd love to know your thoughts about my situation. Thanks!
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 If I was him I'd be confused by your actions. So he invites you out, but thinks that you are seeing someone else, and you dont follow up with him. Then when he invites you again, you tell him youre sick, hahahaha Whats-a-guy-to-do. Anyway OP move on, and try not to bring more confusion to the guys life 3
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I think both of you are playing it way too cool. Neither of you is actually in hot pursuit. Both afraid to put yourselves out there. 1
iiiii Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Sounds like he's invited you out plenty of times, and you've sometimes gone, and sometimes declined. Have you ever asked him out to do something? Perhaps he thinks you just aren't that interested.
Author MissLY Posted August 26, 2014 Author Posted August 26, 2014 So I ended up reaching out to him. I texted him around 9pm on a friday night letting him know that I'd like to see him over the weekend. He answered "lets definitely link...what are your plans later tonight?" I responded with "tonight is no good but any other day would be great". So we decided to touch base the next day. However, he didn't reach out until 11pm the next day saying "What are you up to?". I didn't answer him until the next day. I said "I went to bed early, how was your night? Its too bad we couldn't link up. Maybe sometime soon." He says "My night was crazy but fun... lets definitely link. Let me know when you decide to go out drinking again..." I just responded with "For sure!" I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated because I feel like he's friend zoning me. The funny thing is, we're both friends through social media and every time I update my page, he updates his page. Its almost his way of showing that he's thinking about me. I'm just confused. What do you guys think?
sid3 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Sounds to me as though you're really not that into him and his reluctance to put himself out there is a contributing factor. He's likely hesitant while waiting for a sign(green light) from you while your personality more than likely is more endeared by a take charge type of approach. Just a guess though, I'm no Dr Phil.
smackie9 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 I bet he thinks you are friend zoning him, so he isn't going to put in anymore effort. He definitely likes you but he is simply leaving the ball in your court. Here's a tip, if you want a man, you have to flirt with him, make him feel he is special, and you desire to be with him. I have no idea why most of you women feel you are entitled to have the guy do all the chasing. 1
Standard-Fare Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Did I read this correctly that you told him that you were seeing someone else he happens to know? I'm guessing that info right there probably stopped him in his tracks from going after you too hard. He sees that you're dating around, weighing your options, not taking anything too seriously. It seems like he's put you into "hookup zone" now. He definitely tried to booty-call you the other night (past 11?) and then he told you to be in touch next time you "go out drinking." So he's down to party with you, but he probably doesn't see you any real dating potential. You'd probably have to work hard to change this impression, if you were inclined to. 2
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 So I ended up reaching out to him. I texted him around 9pm on a friday night letting him know that I'd like to see him over the weekend. He answered "lets definitely link...what are your plans later tonight?" I responded with "tonight is no good but any other day would be great". So we decided to touch base the next day. However, he didn't reach out until 11pm the next day saying "What are you up to?". I didn't answer him until the next day. I said "I went to bed early, how was your night? Its too bad we couldn't link up. Maybe sometime soon." He says "My night was crazy but fun... lets definitely link. Let me know when you decide to go out drinking again..." I just responded with "For sure!" I have to admit, I'm a little frustrated because I feel like he's friend zoning me. The funny thing is, we're both friends through social media and every time I update my page, he updates his page. Its almost his way of showing that he's thinking about me. I'm just confused. What do you guys think? Does he not function during the day? Or is he just looking for a late-night booty call?
BluEyeL Posted August 26, 2014 Posted August 26, 2014 Did I read this correctly that you told him that you were seeing someone else he happens to know? I'm guessing that info right there probably stopped him in his tracks from going after you too hard. He sees that you're dating around, weighing your options, not taking anything too seriously. It seems like he's put you into "hookup zone" now. He definitely tried to booty-call you the other night (past 11?) and then he told you to be in touch next time you "go out drinking." So he's down to party with you, but he probably doesn't see you any real dating potential. You'd probably have to work hard to change this impression, if you were inclined to. This. I don't think he's interested to date you (anymore), for whatever reason, but he'd sleep with you if offered.
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