ReluctantRomeo Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by utwonderwoman I guess the hardest part is being with this person every day, planning our future every day. Hearing I love you ten times the day before, and then hearing I don't love you the very next day. Can I please get a guy's perspective on this? How do you guys do it? How do you move on like nothing ever happened? We don't. Not most of us, anyhow. 2 months to the day since being dumped and I'm only just getting over ReluctantJuliette. Even when I've been the dumper (most of the time - sorry!) it takes months before I'm ready to move on. The conclusion I'm coming to - some people just don't have the consistency/commitment thing. Or, like Greenhorn says, they're in love with love and with themselves, rather than with you (my paraphrase). Whatever, these people need to be identified and avoided. Or, Greenie's Viking solution - take them out and chop them into little pieces. Sushi, anyone?
greenhorn Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by utwonderwoman I guess the hardest part is being with this person every day, planning our future every day. Hearing I love you ten times the day before, and then hearing I don't love you the very next day. Can I please get a guy's perspective on this? How do you guys do it? How do you move on like nothing ever happened? Exactly !!! exactly this is the same thing that i kept on asking day after day with everyone and if you read the post in the link given by ISRA it was the same question that i asked there that how can someone do it...i always wanted to ask grls that how easy it is for them to dump someone just the other day and find a better guy the third day and make merry infront of your eyes. I didnt get any answer except the fact that the girl was seeking for someone better and got one.She had no value for my love and sacrifices and the good times we had.She got one good guy, hooked up with him and when i found that she had cheated me she dumped me. So guys and girls do it alike and there is no answer.Anyway i would suggest you to read that thread the posts by Lucrezia ..you would get some perspective and would move on..i would suggest pls dont ask any question..just let this bad phase pass through..trust me things would be better, there would be sunny days.
Author utwonderwoman Posted February 28, 2005 Author Posted February 28, 2005 Israfil, I might have to read that link every day, but you were right when she hits the nail on the head. It is still painful to think that is how he was feeling all along, but I guess I don't have a choice.
Israfil Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by utwonderwoman Israfil, I might have to read that link every day, but you were right when she hits the nail on the head. It is still painful to think that is how he was feeling all along, but I guess I don't have a choice. (((((((((((UTWW)))))))))))))) I know its painful. I was just there almost a month ago. When I first saw Lucrezia's post, I was stunned - shocked to the core to realize the truth. I have to read that post again and again, especially when I find myself trying to make excuses for him, try to reanalyze etc. It's awful - but there is freedom and ultimately peace in that truth. I am trying to find that peace, and it has gotten easier - and it will get easier for you. Also, if you haven't instituted this already, I highly recommend No Contact. (search under "Lost Guide to No Contact" - it will help you a great deal). You must begin to separate yourself emotionally from him, and a physical separation allows you to begin this process. I am so sorry for what you are going through. PM me anytime. Isra
DoggyDog Posted March 10, 2005 Posted March 10, 2005 I know you want answers....but if you look back, there had to be something wrong in how he was acting...They say love is blind, but after it's gone, if you really look back "you will SEE that something wasn't right." Beej's guy up and left her hanging also....she didn't get her answers. Would you like to hear him say "I'm leaving you because I LOVE YOU?" Talk about messing up your mind...From reading thru these posts, most of you guys have moved past the really hurt and pain...but I haven't still....been 4 months...so I can't tell you that things will get better....just know your not alone and LS does offer advice that hopefully will help your pain. I found that "sleeping" is the only time I don't think of HIM....so if I sleep alot and it helps for now, might help you also. Feeling like you don't want to do a thing is exactly the thing to do....Nothing UNO. Just take a nice bath with bubbles, have some wine, throw out pictures of him, have some wine and keep saying to yourself---he's a Bas____rd! How DARE HE. Soon you will turn that LOVE to DISLIKE...You can change your mind into thinking he's all that and your only true love....I'm still working on it, but slowing after many many years (20) with him, in 4 months without him, my thought process is what I've just stated. If you can get to this place...you will feel better. L DD
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