nadine5 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I met this guy, "J". Very very handsome...much better looking than I am, in June. He showered me with tons of attention. Always texting me about how beautiful I am, always wanted to see me ... made me feel really good. We became "official", and although I didn't badger him about it, he hasn't updated his relationship status on FB, he doesn't hold hands, any PDA whatsoever. I'm not a snoop, but I will often glimpse at his phone or see him talking to some girl on FB messages. Or even multiple girls. One of his friends is actually a waitress at a "club"... yes, that kind.. and the other day he went out and bought her a stuffed giraffe...really weird. I didn't get any stuffed animals. He is always texting her too, and she is always sending him pictures of herself. I'm not an overly jealous person, but I find this whole situation really bizarre. It sucks because when he's not being a whore he is a really fun, sweet guy, and he ACTS like he cares about me for the most part. He'll go out of his way for me a lot. Also, he makes really strange, snide comments about how he never wants to get married (red flag) or live with anyone, and seeing as we are both in our early thirties that is a huge turn off. I'm starting to feel this relationship fading and I feel devastated about it. The more it fades the more text messages he gets. Should I just jump the gun and end this thing before I get in too deep and fall in love with this guy? Should I say something to him? I've never been in this situation before. Thanks for your help, guys.
HappyLove Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 If this guy was ugly and treating you like this would you put up with it? Know your worth! 4
RoosterFrame Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I'm a male in my early 30s. I wouldn't treat a woman I was interested in like that...or any woman for that matter. I'd move on. He probably knows he's good looking and can get away with what he's doing. Don't let biology prevail!
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 OP sounds like youre insecure. Lets be absolutely honest. You say he's a good looking man. Do you think that he wont have any woman friends? They dont have to be flirting, but do you think that he'll just abandon his life after he met you. Second of all if you know that he bought her a stuffed giraffe, why not just ask him what's all about. - I know why you wont ask him, because he'll think youre neurotic. If someone doesnt want to get married, you see that as a "red flag" - haha Please then, abide by your "red flag" rules You should break it off with this guy, so he can dodge this bullet
54JA Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I am so sorry that you are in this situation. I can only imagine how stressful it must be to date someone who is very hot and has a ton of female "friends." One thing to keep in mind is that (I know you might not wanna hear this, but) initial stages of dating/relationship is typically great for many couples. The guy, especially a hot one, can be very skilled in impressing the girls with sweet texts and giving lots of attention. He basically had a lot of practice in getting girls because his good looks provided him with a lot of opportunities. He is good at making a girl feel pretty and adored. He understands that this works, that this can get a girl "hooked" on him. But I think a lot more than sweet texts and attention is required for a successful long term relationship. A relationship cannot survive on those things alone. I think both the guy and the girl need to slowly build trust for each other. They need to act in a manner that is consistent with their words in order to build trust. I think you are taking the right steps in re-evaluating the potential with this guy before you are too into it. Good luck! 1
Poppyolive Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 What guy in his thirties buys a stuffed giraffe? #1 red flag stuffed giraffe. He doesn't want marriage, live together, show you love.. if these go against what you want, require in a relationship, then it needs to end. I think you need to go with your gut. It doesn't sound like he wants a relationship. I would sit him down with these, also gives him a chance , one chance to redeem himself. 2
54JA Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 What guy in his thirties buys a stuffed giraffe? #1 red flag stuffed giraffe. Good point poppyolive!! Thirty some year-old dude buying a stuffed giraffe... 1
travelbug1996 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I see a sign coming. Its not a red flag but it does say ""DEAD END". Please don't walk away, RUN!!!
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Talking to other women, being friends with them & even liking their posts on FB is no big deal. Buying them gifts is crossing a line. If you are not getting PDA & his actions don't announce to the world that you are # 1 in his life, this bears further discussion.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Toss him back. This one is definitely not a catch. 1
aussietigerwolf Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 If a guy is talking to other women a lot, buying them gifts and not you and not showing you affection then that is a cause for concern.
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