Have not heard from her in over a week but we have made future plans including a trip

[mrspaceman]

I have been casually dating a girl for 1-2 months that I have known for longer, our last date was okay, but could have been better, it did not end on a high note. (see my other post)

 

I realize I made some mistakes by trying to get more physical with her, which may have pressured her, but I did not push it too much. I also sent a couple texts after asking when we would meet next, hopefully this did not scare her off too much. She said she was busy and had family visitors for a week, which she told me about in detail in person, so I believe her and would write to me after they were gone. The texts were a bit colder than previous texts from her.

 

When we were talking in person I asked her if she wanted to come to my birthday in a couple weeks, which she was excited about and prior to this she also invited me to go on a big trip together.

 

I did not want to cause any more damage with the texts, so I just left it and thought I would respect her space by not texting her anymore and let her contact me when she feels.

 

It has been just over a week and I have not heard back from her. Most girls I would just say "forget them" however I do really like her and since we made such big plans together, I am not really sure if I should just forget about her or not.

 

I also need to send out an event invite soon to my friends including her, I have quite a lot of attractive female friends she has not met, who I was planning to invite, is this going to turn her off or on from joining?

 

Any advice one this?

[d0nnivain]

Don't pay any money toward anybody regarding this trip until after you see her & talk to her again.

 

Invite whomever including her to your party & see how things go from there. If you want a romantic relationship of any sort with her, do not hit on other women in front of her if she does attend your b-day party. Take some time to make her feel special so she is more secure about her place in your life.

 

If she doesn't come to the party or respond to the invitation, you have your answer.

[Assasda]

This sounds horrible man.

Dont bother with it man.

 

Please move on

 

 

 

 

PS you are even thinking of her meeting your friends when youre not even close to her. Youre in a make believe universe man. Move on, and work on being more secure and emotionally stable

[Supernatural]

I wouldn't fret.

 

It's been a week and a bit since you talked to her. Who knows what is going on. Call her. If she ignored and doesn't return call, then you have your answer.

[mrspaceman]

Don't pay any money toward anybody regarding this trip until after you see her & talk to her again.

 

Invite whomever including her to your party & see how things go from there. If you want a romantic relationship of any sort with her, do not hit on other women in front of her if she does attend your b-day party. Take some time to make her feel special so she is more secure about her place in your life.

 

If she doesn't come to the party or respond to the invitation, you have your answer.

Thank you for you for the well thought out response. This makes sense.

 

I would not hit on any of them as they are just my friends, I was just more curious if women would be turned off, on or indifferent about having a lot of female friends. As with most things I do with her, I do my best to make her feel special and comfortable, this would be no different.

 

I would definitely have my answer.

[FitChick]

Call and ask if she enjoyed seeing the visitors, what did they do, etc. Then say you are following up on your invitation to your birthday party and if she is still interested, you'd love to have her meet your friends. Meeting someone's friends sends the message you are important in their life.

 

If she goes to the party, tell your friends you really like this girl and to only say nice things about you!

[mrspaceman]

Call and ask if she enjoyed seeing the visitors, what did they do, etc. Then say you are following up on your invitation to your birthday party and if she is still interested, you'd love to have her meet your friends. Meeting someone's friends sends the message you are important in their life.

 

If she goes to the party, tell your friends you really like this girl and to only say nice things about you!

Really good idea! Thank you!

[Ronni_W]

I also need to send out an event invite soon to my friends including her

In this case, I'd actually go to the bother of inviting her personally, preferably by phone not text. Then include her in the 'event invite' if she accepts. If she does not, then you also have your answer about the trip.

 

If she is going to get turned-off by the fact that you have attractive female friends, then...well, do you want to be dealing with that for as long as you and she remain casually dating (if indeed you are still doing that)?

 

On the other hand, I've not ever heard any guy say anything to effect of, "I've got a lot of attractive female friends". How much stock you put in that, and how you express it to your g/f and potentials, will likely influence their thoughts, perceptions about it.

 

EDIT - or, what FitChick said. (I missed her post while I was writing my own.)

[d0nnivain]

I was just more curious if women would be turned off, on or indifferent about having a lot of female friends. As with most things I do with her, I do my best to make her feel special and comfortable, this would be no different. .

 

Some women will freak out because you have attractive female friends. That is their problem not yours.

 

Hopefully she's more self assured than that.

[rester]

I read your other thread and posted a couple responses. My impression of the situation is that you think you are dating her, but she doesn't know. She views you as a friend only. I apologize if I am getting the wrong impression, but how do you know you are dating this woman and not just going out as friends? Has there been any physical contact?

[mrspaceman]

In this case, I'd actually go to the bother of inviting her personally, preferably by phone not text. Then include her in the 'event invite' if she accepts. If she does not, then you also have your answer about the trip.

 

If she is going to get turned-off by the fact that you have attractive female friends, then...well, do you want to be dealing with that for as long as you and she remain casually dating (if indeed you are still doing that)?

Point taken.

 

On the other hand, I've not ever heard any guy say anything to effect of, "I've got a lot of attractive female friends". How much stock you put in that, and how you express it to your g/f and potentials, will likely influence their thoughts, perceptions about it.

Ah, I did not mean it like that, I realize that make have sounded not so good. A large group of my female friends work in fitness and health, so they take very good care of themselves, which I think people find attractive, including my male friends who I have introduced them to, I have no interest in any of them. I am interested in this girl who I think like everybody has insecurities about her appearance, which she has mentioned, I always make sure to tell her that I think she looks great, because to me she is the most beautiful thing ever!

[mrspaceman]

I read your other thread and posted a couple responses. My impression of the situation is that you think you are dating her, but she doesn't know. She views you as a friend only. I apologize if I am getting the wrong impression, but how do you know you are dating this woman and not just going out as friends? Has there been any physical contact?

Thank you for your response. We were just hanging out casually as friends irregularly, however she started suggesting more romantic spots and activities in the city on a more regular basis, so I would consider that dating no? Without going into too much detail, there has been physical contact, light kissing and light touching...

[Ronni_W]

Ah, I did not mean it like that, I realize that make have sounded not so good. A large group of my female friends work in fitness and health

Ah, okay. Thanks for clarifying...in my books, that really points to you being a very sensitive, caring guy. (So tell your girl that I said that she'd be letting a REALLY good thing slip through her fingers! Fair enough? )

 

In such a case, I might appreciate the guy (you) finding a way to casually mention that he just so happens to hang with a crowd of male and female fitness buffs and professionals...but that they definitely do not represent his personal romantic and/or physical attractions. But don't mention or rather, re-mention what she's said about her own body-image insecurities.

 

I get that it's a bit slippery between the two of you right now...so I'm not sure how you can fit that into an upcoming convo. Find a way, yes?

 

I have no interest in any of them. I am interested in this girl who I think like everybody has insecurities about her appearance, which she has mentioned, I always make sure to tell her that I think she looks great, because to me she is the most beautiful thing ever!

You're very sweet. Hopefully she'll give you the opportunity to be able to tell her how you perceive and feel about her many, many times in the future.

[rester]

Thank you for your response. We were just hanging out casually as friends irregularly, however she started suggesting more romantic spots and activities in the city on a more regular basis, so I would consider that dating no? Without going into too much detail, there has been physical contact, light kissing and light touching...

 

That clears things up. Yes, I would consider that dating. However, I have had experiences with women that involved sex and "dates" and come to find out two months in, that we were not "dating".

[eleve82]

That clears things up. Yes, I would consider that dating. However, I have had experiences with women that involved sex and "dates" and come to find out two months in, that we were not "dating".

 

 

Ditto.. same goes for men. You never know what people really think unless you ask. You could be sleeping with someone on a regular basis only to fond out you're "just friends".