iceisles Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Agreed, but sometimes you just need a bed buddy to fill the void. I need that after my separation. We were all wrong for each other except for the sex. We both knew it, so it worked. Now, I'm thinking, after a year of being separated, I would like to meet someone for something more than that. Speaking of which, he just emailed me and we had our little flirty conversation. I wish he would step up more. I have never wasted my time with bed buddies, booty calls, hook-ups, etc. I have always focused my attention on serious, committed relationships, because I would rather refine those skills than recite generic lines just to get someone naked.
Linlin Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 I wouldn't have done it either at your age. But sometimes things change as you get older and you have different reasons. But with all my baggage and everything else going on in my life, sometimes a little booty was needed. Not for everyone, but worked for me to fill a void at the time.
iceisles Posted March 1, 2005 Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin I wouldn't have done it either at your age. But sometimes things change as you get older and you have different reasons. But with all my baggage and everything else going on in my life, sometimes a little booty was needed. Not for everyone, but worked for me to fill a void at the time. I suppose if someone wanted to pounce on me right now, I wouldn't turn down the offer. But even booty calls take work, and I haven't reached the point where I would pursue those in lieu of something more meaningful.
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Girls, I'll tell you (as if you don't already know) the game is crazy. I am sitting here right now waiting for him to email me first before I contact him. The guys at work told me, sit tight and let him make the first moves. Let him chase. If he is interested he will. It still drives me nuts though. I am a take charge kind of person and don't like being in the passenger seat. I should have been a man. I have been accused of being a gay man in a woman's body before, haha....I am a bit aggressive and kinda "take charge". Before I get out of the car after the first date I am like, so when will I hear from you? And I pull out my planner. The thing is that nowadays most of my days are rigidly scheduled, not just because of work, but because that keeps me sane....haha, moral of the story, always appear busier than you actually are.
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 I make it easy. When the date is over, I just say, "I had a great time. Can I see you again?'. I almost always have my answer for the car ride back home.
Author JoL Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 See! I like that approach..can i see you again..would you like to do something during the weekend...when are you free to hang out again...i had a great time tonight, when can i call you? THAT is what a girl wants to hear!!! Well, i caved today and msged him..just to get a feel as to WHY he would ignore my message that night. He replied straight away! I sent one back a few minutes later and didnt get a reply. Im leaving him alone, he is obviously giving me a hint! And im going to take it!
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by JoL See! I like that approach..can i see you again..would you like to do something during the weekend...when are you free to hang out again...i had a great time tonight, when can i call you? THAT is what a girl wants to hear!!! In the movies, that's how it always goes. The guy is standing there with the girl, holds her hands, and just says, "I had a great time. I would love to see you again." I think it's an excellent approach. I never subscribed to any of these waiting then calling philosophies.
Author JoL Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 Can I date you iceisles..you are the only sane man out there!
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by JoL Can I date you iceisles..you are the only sane man out there! Sure, the dating scene has been disappointing lately, to say the least.
Linlin Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 JoL, that SUCKS!!!!! I feel for you. I am with you. Why can't these men just say, "I had a great time, when are you available again?" I think iceisles and blind otter need to give some of these boys lessons. I am sitting here to waiting for another email. I hate this game. He emailed me Monday and said sorry he couldn't talk longer when he bumped into me and other little chit chat things and sent me a joke. He emailed me again yesterday and asked how my day was going, am I working hard, etc.... and sent another joke. Of course the jokes are sexual in nature. What do you guys think??? SHould I wait for him to contact me again today or can I contact him. My brother-in-law says I should send him an email saying that I am going to see my brothers band again this weekend and would he like to come with again. What do you guys think? If he says no, at least I have my answer. And then my BIL says go cold on the emails if he says no and see what happens.
Linlin Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Did it. Sent the email. Waiting for a reply. I feel butterflies in my tummy. Could go either way. My girlfriend told me life it too short. Do it! I am too old to feel this way and go through this!!!!!
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin JoL, that SUCKS!!!!! I feel for you. I am with you. Why can't these men just say, "I had a great time, when are you available again?" I think iceisles and blind otter need to give some of these boys lessons. I am sitting here to waiting for another email. I hate this game. He emailed me Monday and said sorry he couldn't talk longer when he bumped into me and other little chit chat things and sent me a joke. He emailed me again yesterday and asked how my day was going, am I working hard, etc.... and sent another joke. Of course the jokes are sexual in nature. What do you guys think??? SHould I wait for him to contact me again today or can I contact him. My brother-in-law says I should send him an email saying that I am going to see my brothers band again this weekend and would he like to come with again. What do you guys think? See, this is why I will NOT e-mail or text message people I am potentially interested in. Either you get off yer ass and call ME, or we don't hang out. Because too much can be/can't be read into written text. I also will schedule in the phone calls. As in, "call me between 6-8pm - I am at work before then, after 8 I have something to do, blah blah blah" - I give justification for my need to schedule the calls, because that interaction is just as important in garnering attention from them, as any other. Plus I write what comes into my head and can get myself into trouble that way. If you haven't talked to him today yet, you can call him. I would. I do it. The sexiest trait in someone, IMO, is confidence.
Linlin Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Because of our situations, it is very difficult to call each other and emailing is the best option right now. However, if we go out agin this weekend, I am going to talk to him about scheduling phone calls. Let's see if I can get the second date first.
Linlin Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Well, I just got the official kiss off this morning. I got an email from him saying him and his ex-girlfriend have decided to try again. Can't complete with that. I sent him the thanks for the date....Made a new friend.... See you around some time.... email. He replied with the thanks for being so understanding. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
Author JoL Posted March 2, 2005 Author Posted March 2, 2005 OUCH!! I am so sorry Linlin! I didn't see that coming..!! I wonder how long he has been planning on getting back together with her, as these things don't just happen overnight..!! The dating scene is disappointing is it iceisles? I don't really date much, but i'm finding this new-found singledom lots of fun!The possibilities are endless (in theory) hehe. ...and yes, i am finding the dating scene a big stupid game with stupid rules that make people stupid.. I am a smart enough girl, if a guy shows interest in me and i dont feel the same- i will NEVER keep him guessing, i will be polite, upfront and honest. And if i DO like a guy and he likes me- then i make sure he knows. Is it SO hard to live like that people?!!??
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Well, I just got the official kiss off this morning. I got an email from him saying him and his ex-girlfriend have decided to try again. Can't complete with that. I sent him the thanks for the date....Made a new friend.... See you around some time.... email. He replied with the thanks for being so understanding. Oh well, back to the drawing board. Sorry to hear that, Linlin. It's good you are friends, though, because most "reunions" with exes fail, so he may come back to you in time. I know how tough it is to hear that, but you're right about not being able to compete with it. Just tip your cap to him and keep plowing forward.
iceisles Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by JoL The dating scene is disappointing is it iceisles? I don't really date much, but i'm finding this new-found singledom lots of fun!The possibilities are endless (in theory) hehe. ...and yes, i am finding the dating scene a big stupid game with stupid rules that make people stupid.. I am a smart enough girl, if a guy shows interest in me and i dont feel the same- i will NEVER keep him guessing, i will be polite, upfront and honest. And if i DO like a guy and he likes me- then i make sure he knows. Is it SO hard to live like that people?!!?? Yeah, dating surely isn't easy. I've met plenty of nice folks lately, but nothing has clicked so far. I know I have to be patient, but I'm not getting any younger here. Despite the letdowns of late, I am staying true to myself. I don't play games, I don't create drama. I am just honest and straightforward, and if someone can't deal with that, I don't want to be with them anyway.
blind_otter Posted March 2, 2005 Posted March 2, 2005 Ouch. Getting the kiss-off sucks, I'm sorry linlin. I always quiz about ex girlfriends within the first few moments of initial conversation. I have no problem saying "So why did you last relationship end? How do you feel about how it ended? Do you think you might ever get back together?" Maybe that's invasive, I dunno, but I am honest and upfront about my many shortcomings
Author JoL Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 Well guess who i got a phone call off today..! Yep, he called..but not exactly for a good reason. He basically said he is swamped with uni work (he's doing his honours this year) and has barely got time to go to work let alone date. I told him that's fine, i wasn't looking for a relationship anyway, i was just happy to hang out. But I knew he wasn't 100% keen! Anyway, we just left it at that. Oh well, at least he was upfront and honest instead of keeping me hanging!
Linlin Posted March 3, 2005 Posted March 3, 2005 Too bad you and I couldn't go out together to drown our sorrows. I am still going out on Friday night. I am going to hook up with some married friends and go see my brother's band still. Good! No competion with the other women. Serious, I am just going to have fun and not worry about what happened. You never know who you are going to meet.
Author JoL Posted March 3, 2005 Author Posted March 3, 2005 I agree! I love going out with my friends and i always have the BEST time. I am 100% happy to be single, but i also love meeting new people..not just for dating purposes, im a very social person! You know, the best relationships happen when you least expect it, so my advice to anyone looking for a bf/gf is to just let it go- and it will happen when the time is right!
Recommended Posts