JoL Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 If a guy doesn't call you the day after a date, does it mean he isn't interested? I read so much advice on loveshack that says if he is keen then he will pursue you relentlessly..but..i do know guys who "play the game" and make a girl wait a couple of days before calling. So..what do you all think? If a guy doesnt call a girl after the first date on the next day, what are the chances he will in the next few days? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 If a guy doesnt call a girl after the first date on the next day, what are the chances he will in the next few days? Impossible to say. Personally though, I would never call anyone the day after the first date, no matter how badly I wanted to see them again. Link to post Share on other sites
lexnmike4enomore Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Give it a few days. I went on a date with a guy and waited a week to call me. Whatever you do, don't call him. If he's interested he'll call you. If not, then take the hint. But give it a few more days. Your really not supposed to call the day after, seems to pushy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hmm i guess so! It wasn't so much a "date" in the traditional sense..more like going to an event with him and his friends..but yes, i will give it a few days i guess. It's so weird, im not used to the dating scene! Any guy who has been interested in me in the past has pursued me quite obviously beforehand so i always knew they were into me before the first date even happened! Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I hate this whole game too!! I just don't get it. I feel too old to be playing the high school games. If you like someone call. Just because you are calling them, doesn't mean that they are moving in with you tomorrow. I guess that is why men and women think differently. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I always wait 2 days at least. the more i like the guy the more likely i am to wait. because i like want him to respect me or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 Right on Linlin! Im not used to the "waiting for phone calls" game...! I'm in my 20's dammit! I'm an adult! It's time to grow up! I have always known that a guy is interested in me before actually going on dates with him. It's like we establish the interest in eachother prior to the awkward first date (or first few dates), so at least that part of the equation is established ..that YES we like eachother and we have already gotten to know eachohter a little bit..makes it easier on the first date! Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter I always wait 2 days at least. the more i like the guy the more likely i am to wait. because i like want him to respect me or whatever. I think the whole waiting thing is ridiculous. If you like someone, call! Life it too short to be waiting around. Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Seriously!!! Life is too short. The guy I am waiting to hear from hasn't called yet either. We emailed each other a few times. Our friend who thnik we are "perfect" for each other set us up. We had a great time and found we had alot in common. We went out from 8pm until 3 am. At that point I invited him in and yes, using not the best alcohol induced judgement I slept with him. We are both almost 40, so I thought what the heck. He didn't want to leave the next morning, but I sent him home and told him maybe one night next week we'll get together. He emailed me the next morning and said he had a great time could he call me and I said yes. We went back and forth on the emails on Monday and Thursday. He told me he was taking his daughter to a matinee on Sat and I told him I was taking my kids as well. Well out of 5 theatres and twice a day matinees, don't we end up at the same one. I wasn't going to speak to him because I don't like to get the kids involved and it was his daughter's birthday and his ex and grandparents were also there. But my little one decides to throw a fit at his feet on the way out of the theatre. We exchange a few comments and he didn't seem uncomfortable to see me but I think I was and blushing. Anyway, No phone calls or emails yet. Sometimes, I think booty calls are easier, that way I know what to expect. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 yes give it a few days, if a guy is interested in you, they will call in less than a week's time frame from the last date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hmm..the worst thing is, i sent him a msg after the "date" saying i had fun and thanks for inviting me (it was just hanging out with his friends and him at a festival type thing)...but no reply! well, that's kind of rude if you ask me! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Alpha would tell you he'd wait at least two weeks before calling. Don't feel ofended because you sent him a nice text. If you did it, t does not mean he's in any way compelled to do it also. Men react differently, they like their independance and they like to do things on their own time. Just take your time and enjoy your freedom. Continue to go out and meet other men. Who knows, maybe while waiting for this one man you're missing out on something. I know I'm repeating myself, but enjoy at maximum the time you're single. 20's is so not a time to be in a long serious relationship ! it's a time to meet people, have fun, experience stuff... Cheers, Curly Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Oh believe me curly..i totally agree with you! I am SO not looking for a boyfriend at the moment..I am enjoying single life very much! But i guess not being used to rejection or being blown-off i dont really know the dating "rules"...so i dont know when i AM being rejected or blown off! haha! Im not going to lose sleep over this guy at all!!! Not a second! Just curious as to why people play such weird games! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 You're not blown off. You're simply not used to dating anymore. When I broke up with my bf of 4 years and a half, I had the feeling I were 100. I was bored to death. Yup, dating ain't so much fun as I used to remember. Give it a couple more weeks, you'll get the hang of it. What I found most confusing was exactly this attitude of "alone in the dark". Girls do it and obviously boys do it too... quite chidish if you ask me, but then there are certain benefits ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Yeah i'm not really "with" the dating scene at the moment i guess. I've never gotten it to begin with! I dont get all the game playing, blow-offs and all the rest of it! Geez, if you like someone just say so! If you dont want to date someone just be honest! It saves SO much time! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Some people fear they're weak (read "not men enough";) ) if they confess they like someone right away. Remember kindergarden? It ain't so much different. Go play with someone else, you've got every chance to receive a couple of phonecalls after that , LOOL. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 hah it's a matter of wanting what you can't have and being bored with what you can have! haha Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Girls, I'll tell you (as if you don't already know) the game is crazy. I am sitting here right now waiting for him to email me first before I contact him. The guys at work told me, sit tight and let him make the first moves. Let him chase. If he is interested he will. It still drives me nuts though. I am a take charge kind of person and don't like being in the passenger seat. I should have been a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Me TOO linlin!!! It's so frustrating! Whenever I like a guy i have to contain myself from msing/ringing him...it's terrible. If i were a guy i would be FANTASTIC! I would NEVER leave a girl i like hanging!! HAHA But i usually will msg or ring (within reason, every couple of days)..and most guys LOVE it (when i know they are into me)..it's when im not QUITE sure if he likes me that it becomes hard!! Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Exactly, I ran into him on the weekend. We both had the kids and his ex was there too (it was his daughter's birthday and they are very amicable). We spoke very briefly. I wanted to email him so bad but sat tight listening to everyone's advice. He did email me in the afternoon saying sorry he couldn't talk longer and asked me some other questions. I replied back and haven't heard anything since 3pm yesterday. So here I sit waiting again. I know he likes me. Just how much I am not sure. I would like to see if he wants to go see my brother's band again on Friday but I am waiting for him to bring up the subject. It's like I am 16 again in a 40 year old body. Acutally 16 was never like this because I was always in the driver's seat back then. Come to think of it the only other relationship that I wasn't in the driver's seat was the guy I ended up marrying. It didn't turn serious until I started to ignore him. MMMM.... maybe there is something to that. But I still don't like waiting!!! Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Jol, if you were a man, you'd do exactly that. My ex told me that if I were a man, I would have been the world's greatest mysogin, LOOL. Men !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoL Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Linlin...i thought it got easier the older we got!! Damn, well there goes that comfort that at least if im single in my 30s and 40s guys will be more mature! I guess sometimes emails and things are a bit easier to leave till later, it could just be he is busy and didnt have time to reply. Its when someone ignores a phone call or an sms message that i find quite rude! Ive never really been rejected before, or blown off..i guess i better start preparing myself for the dating world- ive been lucky up till now, the guys ive liked have liked me back and things always progressed into a relationship or something. But im enjoying being single! Im in no hurry for a relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Some guys are great....others...well.... I think part of the problem is that no one wants to get hurt or hurt anyones feelings. There was one guy that I was hooking up with. He was up front with me that it would never be anything serious and he was a perpetual bachelor. That suited me fine at the time. We had the greatest sex and conversation all the time. I could still call him and we can talk and there is no awkwardness. However, that is not what I want for the rest of my life. I think we would all like someone to be there for us. That's where this darn dating thing comes in...... Link to post Share on other sites
iceisles Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Some guys are great....others...well.... I think part of the problem is that no one wants to get hurt or hurt anyones feelings. There was one guy that I was hooking up with. He was up front with me that it would never be anything serious and he was a perpetual bachelor. That suited me fine at the time. We had the greatest sex and conversation all the time. I could still call him and we can talk and there is no awkwardness. However, that is not what I want for the rest of my life. I think we would all like someone to be there for us. That's where this darn dating thing comes in...... I think most guys eventually want to settle down. It just takes some of us a long time to get there. I think that even men realize that casual, meaningless sex is pretty empty. Link to post Share on other sites
Linlin Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Agreed, but sometimes you just need a bed buddy to fill the void. I need that after my separation. We were all wrong for each other except for the sex. We both knew it, so it worked. Now, I'm thinking, after a year of being separated, I would like to meet someone for something more than that. Speaking of which, he just emailed me and we had our little flirty conversation. I wish he would step up more. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts