nyfan1992 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 So a week ago I was out at a bar with my friends and I saw this girl with 2 of her friends. I instantly pointed her out to my friends and went up to her and started talking with her. We talked for a good hour and realized we have a lot in common. After talking for a while, she said she really liked talking to me and she kissed me. We made out for a bit, but nothing crazy. I made sure to be respectful which she seemed to appreciate. Ever since then, her and I have been texting pretty much everyday. She's very easy to talk to and we talk for hours at a time. She's told me a few times that she's glad she met me and she definitely wants to see me when she's home on break from school. We've also talked about meeting up at a football game in which my alma mater plays her school. Now here's where the issues lie. Whenever we talk, I'm the one who initiates the conversation. Like I said when I do text her, we talk for hours and she'll sometimes make comments about wanting to see me in the future. I feel confident, but I'm not sure why she doesn't text me first. I like talking to her but I don't want to text her too much or always initiate in case it makes me seem clingy. Should I wait a few days before texting her again? Not sure what's the best course of action here. In addition, she's a senior in a college located far away from me. I know if anything is gonna come out of this it won't be until she graduates. I'm fine with that, as I just got out of a relationship not too long ago and just started working, but how can I stay relevant in her life so when she is home we can see each other and see where things go. I know I just met her and this could just be the novelty of it making me like her, but I truly do feel like I have a lot of chemistry with her. We agree on so many things; far different from my past relationship. I also find her extremely beautiful and am honestly surprised a girl like her is interested in me. Could someone give me some advice as to how I should approach this situation? Thanks so much.
venusinlibra Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 As a woman, I say to keep in contact with her, even if you have to initiate it. I was raised being told that women don't chase, and while I know the college-generation is different, perhaps you should play it safe. How soon is the football game? When is her break? Could you find an "excuse" to travel near her college sometime? You need to try and make future plans to stay relevant before another man does. Good luck to you! 1
Assasda Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Yeah, if you are the one initiating everything its not good. You might want to back off for a little bit and let her come to you. You are just as valuable as she is. So, she should be contacting you too
Author nyfan1992 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Hi Venus, Thanks for your timely response! My parents have raised me in a similar fashion - the man should pursue the women. So I am fine with engaging her in conversation, but I just don't want to come across too strong. I usually try to keep the conversations light and funny, but sometimes will make a flirty comment or something that gets the message across that I'm interested in her. And she always returns similarly when I do make comments like that. The game is in October, 2 months from now. She has also told me to come visit her at her school sometime but it's so far away and I work full-time so I'm not sure how I would work that out. But at home, she lives relatively close to me and her and her friends often go into my town to go out to the bars. We have talked a few times about meeting up for drinks next time she's home and it seems like a certainty although a specific date hasn't been set. I suppose because that's a bit far from now and it would be premature to set dates already. I guess I just need to do a better job at making myself more than just that random guy at a bar who she made out with. It's amazing how much we have in common and I really am hopeful something more can develop between us. 1
todreaminblue Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 if you like her go for it....when you hang back , you can be sure that another guy wont wait for you to make a move..thats how nice guys miss out....they dont want to rock the boat ....so still eb a nice guy but rock that boat........ask her out ...keep in contact with her....and i wish you well....deb 1
Author nyfan1992 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Thanks deb, It's hard to make specific plans because I won't see her again until October. That being said we have talked about that football game and going out to the bars together after. In addition, we both like the same professional football team and casually said we should go to a game together sometime. Is that good enough to show I'm interested in her and have intentions of seeing her? 1
venusinlibra Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I think that is sufficient, but I would definitely space out your interactions with her until then. In other words, you don't need to communicate every single day. Let it flow naturally. Can you expand the venues that you communicate with her? For example, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or even talk via Skype? That might be a way to "progress" things in the interim. 2
Author nyfan1992 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 We only talk via texting for now, but I sent and she accepted my friend request on Facebook. Ideally, I would like to go several days without talking and then just calling her, but we've only met once so I'm not sure if that would be weird/too aggressive. I personally would prefer talking over the phone, but I don't know how she would react to that. 1
todreaminblue Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 i think its good enough....but i am not her.....i do feel as the other poster said you could continue to talk on facebook or other social media and i do feel phone calls can only develop communication between the two of you...if it feels awkward just keep it short...its not like you have to stay on the phone for an hour......short and sweet till you develop a mutual style together..she may be a talker and you are on the phone for an hour just keep it natural and see how it flows...touching base regularly to me is a good idea....not every day but regularly.lets a woman know you are interested....be honest and open and go from there....its good to hear you both have already talked about going to a game together...thats positive......deb 1
Author nyfan1992 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 I really appreciate your advice, deb. I've never hit it off with someone so quickly before, so I really hope this works out. Hopefully, between now and october we can sustain meaningful communication and talk more naturally. 1
Author nyfan1992 Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 Thank you everyone for your comments! I'll be sure to check out your threads and offer my own advice. Just to give you all an update on the situation, she texted me first tonight
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