He wants ME to come up with an invite for a second date?

[SleeplessIn]

Just my thoughts, but given he has 4 younger children I would suggest he name the date/time/place because he has more at his end to "work around" in terms of scheduling.

[Elias33]

All you need to do is communicate your concerns/questions. Just ask. Make that second date, you have still nothing to lose. Be open about what you are used to. Be honest about wanting a confirm interest from a guy if you are to date him a third time. Be open. Don't get defensive just yet. It may be something you don't understand, and a first reaction is always fear. He has been out of the rotation for a while. But in the end, you know whether you had some sort of connection or not, and it is up to you to say to yourself; what is this worth to me? what am I willing to do? And you may have your answer right there. Keep it simple

[HappyLove]

He's just not that into you. When a guy is into you he can't WAIT to see you again. When he's REALLY into you he'll even ask you out again before the first date ends. A man recently divorced and with that much baggage knows he has to work even harder. This guy sounds like he can't be bothered.

[Gaeta]

He's just not that into you. When a guy is into you he can't WAIT to see you again. When he's REALLY into you he'll even ask you out again before the first date ends. A man recently divorced and with that much baggage knows he has to work even harder. This guy sounds like he can't be bothered.

 

He sent me a good night text and asked why he had not heard from me all evening. Then, before I said anything, he added it will be his pleasure to set up a second date.

 

Maybe his cocky style worked with other women before. It's not something I am going to bite into.

[BluEyeL]

He's just not that into you. When a guy is into you he can't WAIT to see you again. When he's REALLY into you he'll even ask you out again before the first date ends. A man recently divorced and with that much baggage knows he has to work even harder. This guy sounds like he can't be bothered.

This! All the men that were really interested in me asked me out again at the end of the current date, didn't waste any time and were not wishy washy. A guy who cannot be bothered to do that is not doing it for just one reason: he is not too into you. But hey, if you delivered some sex/attention to him without him bothering much, meh, maybe he'll hang out with you for a night or for a while.

 

Also, from your posting history, I think you should diversify your age range. You only date younger men and I really think that hurts your chances to find a long term relationship. Not saying it cannot happen with a younger man, things like that do happen, but only dating younger men I really think puts you at a disadvantage. It's hard enough dating in your 40s and 50s as it is, limiting yourself to younger men is not a good pattern imo.

[BluEyeL]

He sent me a good night text and asked why he had not heard from me all evening. Then, before I said anything, he added it will be his pleasure to set up a second date.

 

Maybe his cocky style worked with other women before. It's not something I am going to bite into.

Asking "why" he hasn't heard from you is a red flag and a turn off. Arrogant, controlling...blah

[HappyLove]

He sent me a good night text and asked why he had not heard from me all evening. Then, before I said anything, he added it will be his pleasure to set up a second date.

 

Maybe his cocky style worked with other women before. It's not something I am going to bite into.

 

 

 

You teach people how to treat you.

[Gaeta]

He is 44, I think that is in my age range.

 

After our first date he did say he would like to see me again.

 

No sex, no kiss.

[Gaeta]

It's hard enough dating in your 40s and 50s as it is, limiting yourself to younger men is not a good pattern imo.

 

You guys may not believe me but I am not looking for a younger man. Men my age and older do not message me. I only get messages from men between 33-43.

 

I have 4 prospects right now. 46-44-44-41

[travelbug1996]

Men are the NEW women. I keep running across these posts of men with all this feminine energy that want women to court them and pursue them.

 

OP you should have just waited to see if he would initiate.

 

You expressed you masculine energy by asking him about asking you out. You do not have to do that. A man who is interested will pursue you properly.

 

Just be patient and focus completely on your life. If a man is not in your face, DO NOT even think about him.

 

Ladies please.

[PogoStick]

I'm amused by the women in this thread.

 

A man wanting a woman to take initiative is arrogant, but women wanting the man to take initiative are _____ ?

 

Yet men are castrated on a daily basis for traditional gender roles. Even testosterone itself has been demonized for decades, but we've been handing out female hormones to millions of women for over 50 years.

 

Men aren't welcome on modern society.

 

Signed,

A guy who's been asking girls on dates for twenty-plus years.

[RonaldS]

He's just not that into you. When a guy is into you he can't WAIT to see you again. When he's REALLY into you he'll even ask you out again before the first date ends. A man recently divorced and with that much baggage knows he has to work even harder. This guy sounds like he can't be bothered.

 

When a guy who is recently divorced (and w/in a year = recently), works a lot AND has 4 kids, he's probably 'into' two things: freedom and sleep.

[Ruby Slippers]

A man wanting a woman to take initiative is arrogant, but women wanting the man to take initiative are _____ ?

driven by the same instincts as the majority of females of all mammal species (along with reptiles, birds, etc.)

[acrosstheuniverse]

He isn't too fussed about seeing you. If he was, you'd have seen him again already or had a set date.

 

I happily take turns with a guy to plan dates, ask when he's free again and decide where to go, but there is usually a very obviously flow of both of you eager to meet again, both asking after a date when you're free for the next one. If he hasn't got in touch for an entire week and then jokes that you need to schedule a date with him, he just isn't that interested in you, sorry.

 

I would move on, you'll be forever chasing him and he'll remain uninterested. Normally if I have a date with someone and then don't speak to them for a week about another date I just go right ahead and assume that it's not happening!

[Keenly]

Men are the NEW women. I keep running across these posts of men with all this feminine energy that want women to court them and pursue them.

 

OP you should have just waited to see if he would initiate.

 

You expressed you masculine energy by asking him about asking you out. You do not have to do that. A man who is interested will pursue you properly.

 

Just be patient and focus completely on your life. If a man is not in your face, DO NOT even think about him.

 

Ladies please.

 

You can call it whatever you like, but the fact is more and more men are getting tired.of the " impress me, jump through hoops for me " attitude a lot of women have while offering little to no reciprocation of effort.

 

I can tell you right now that I dont play the how high do I jump game. If you are interested in some one, you show interest. Anything less is playing games.

[Els]

Are some of you missing the fact that SHE asked him out for their most recent and only date, so this isn't anywhere close to being 50/50? IMO if he was interested he would reciprocate with the second one at the very least.

 

At any rate, OP, I think you should act according to your preferences. If he doesn't like that, then the two of you just aren't compatible, no big loss. There is no point in doing something you're resenting just to try and keep a new date around.

[Gaeta]

If he hasn't got in touch for an entire week and then jokes that you need to schedule a date with him, he just isn't that interested in you, sorry.

 

He touched base each day by text.

 

Part of me think he's just clueless. He has not dated in 20 years. It changed a lot out there in the dating world the past 20 years.

[Gaeta]

Are some of you missing the fact that SHE asked him out for their most recent and only date, so this isn't anywhere close to being 50/50?

 

Thank you! I don't know why people jump the gun assuming I am some lazy princess.

[learning_slowly]

As a hopefully normal guy, if I fancied you, I would be arranging a 2nd date and overcoming the obstacles in my way.

 

He doesn't appear to be doing this, so unless you're desperate, I would move on and hopefully find somebody who may care?

[Gaeta]

As a hopefully normal guy, if I fancied you, I would be arranging a 2nd date and overcoming the obstacles in my way.

 

He doesn't appear to be doing this, so unless you're desperate, I would move on and hopefully find somebody who may care?

 

sigh.....

 

So why during our date, twice, he paused and told me I was 'so incredibly beautiful' that I made him lose his train of thought.

 

I am going to stop meeting men that are new online. They're always excited to meet me then they go home and think ' that was exciting, lets see who else is out there'.

[HappyLove]

sigh.....

 

So why during our date, twice, he paused and told me I was 'so incredibly beautiful' that I made him lose his train of thought.

 

I am going to stop meeting men that are new online. They're always excited to meet me then they go home and think ' that was exciting, lets see who else is out there'.

 

It's ACTIONS not words that matter.

[PegNosePete]

I am going to stop meeting men that are new online. They're always excited to meet me then they go home and think ' that was exciting, lets see who else is out there'.

How do you know that's what he was thinking?

Why do you think that thought is exclusive to new men online?

 

Some guys will carry on thinking that no matter how long they have been there for. Some men will think this when you meet them in a bar or a supermarket or at work or any other offline location. Some men will think that whatever you do... and so will some women. It's just the way of the world. You have to keep meeting people until you find someone you're compatible with. Unless there's a strong link connecting a trait with a result, ruling out an entire sub-set of men doesn't make much sense to me. I don't think there's any link between new men online, and flaking on a 2nd date.

[travelbug1996]

I think a woman should reciprocate and appreciate a mans interest. This guy is giving her nothing but words.

[acrosstheuniverse]

He touched base each day by text.

 

Part of me think he's just clueless. He has not dated in 20 years. It changed a lot out there in the dating world the past 20 years.

 

I dunno, it's basic human nature. If you are into someone, then you show them interest, want to be around them. Surely that's one of our most base instincts, if you like somebody you want to be near them. I don't think that changes much across societies, cultures, countries.

 

Also, touching base via text doesn't really mean anything, although thanks for clarifying that it hasn't been total silence. It takes twenty seconds to fire off a text, it takes time and effort and money to plan organise and carry out a date with somebody you're into. I think if he was into you he'd want to organise a date, impress you, pin you down for the date after that.

 

Taking turns is great and he is not, you did the asking for the last date, if you ask him out on another I doubt he'll even accept or show. And if he does I'd be surprised if it leads to anything. There must be tonnes of great guys out there dying to take you out, I would move on from this one!

[Gaeta]

Him and I exchanged a few words this morning. I told him I got up really tired, I dreamed all night long I was chased by zombies.

 

He goes: It's certainly not me that was chasing you in your dream.

 

LOL

 

Then he called but I missed it and it went to my voice mail. He left a message saying that I needed to pray. My dream indicated that demons are lurking around me and prayers will chase them away.

 

He's officially weird.