He wants ME to come up with an invite for a second date?

[Gaeta]

So we had the typical first meet. We went for a drink, we both enjoyed our meeting. He gave really nice compliments, walked me to my car and said he'd like to see me again, I said I'd like that as well.

 

He touched base daily, nothing too extended, just perfect.

 

He's a busy man, he works and teaches and has 4 kids. I thought I will let him come up with a second date idea when he has time.

 

Seven days went by and nothing, I felt this needed a little kick.

 

This morning when he text I asked what a girl needed to do to see him again He replied: She needs to schedule a date with me!! I replied in a joking matter: Ok you will have me do your job! and he replied: You asked what a girl needed to do, I answered.

 

Grrr!!! What's that? now what? Do I freakin comply? I forget about it?

 

Wouldn't a man really interested have scheduled a second date by now?

[MidwestUSA]

I scheduled the second date with my bf/now husband. Because I wanted to. Why not?

[MissBee]

This is weird to me.

 

I prefer a man to take the lead and would be turned off if he was waiting for me or if after I bring it up he just says "I told you what you need to do..."

 

That's not my style personally.

 

You could give him a shot though and invite him somewhere and see.

[Supernatural]

Did he schedule the first one?

[Gaeta]

Did he schedule the first one?

 

hhmm let me think.

 

No I did.

[Ronni_W]

This morning when he text I asked what a girl needed to do to see him again He replied: She needs to schedule a date with me!!

Hhmmm...

He could just be being playful...or it could be a sign that he is a dom.

 

You might want to clarify, "Are you just being playful?" and see what you get back. Which might necessitate you having to clarify the clarification with, "Are you a dom?"...but perhaps one step at a time?

 

In general, though, I've also asked for/planned dates and not just left it up to the guy.

 

EDIT: (I just saw your post) - given that you scheduled the first one...just tell him it's his turn since you did the first one.

[MissBee]

hhmm let me think.

 

No I did.

 

Are you serious???

 

Yeah sorry...I like a man who takes a bit more initiative personally, so we'd not be a good match.

[mightycpa]

Not much imagination demonstrated so far. Not a dealkiller, but it does go on the list of things I'd pay attention to in the future.

[Gaeta]

He is out 1 year of a 18 year relationship.

 

3 months ago he got on this dating site and I am the first/only woman he met. That is easy to explain though, he's 44 with 4 kids 16-11-6-3, he also has them most of the time. I was probably the only woman online crazy enough to meet him.

[Supernatural]

If you had to schedule 4/5 dates, would this bother you?

[BluEyeL]

I personally haven't had good experiences with men like that. I dated someone until a few months ago, for three months, who wanted me to come up with every date idea, he told me so. He also wanted me to ask him out and he be the one to tell me if he's available or not. i tried to do that for a while, for too long actually, but I was too uncomfortable with the entire thing and decided the guy wasn't that into me. Waste of time. The way this person is handling dating, I would personally recommend letting him go, I don't see a bright future here. I was told to let him go from the second date, but I couldn't listen and wasted 3 months. Don't be me.

[Ruby Slippers]

If you're fine taking the initiator's role for this relationship, go for it.

 

It would never do it for me. I'm very turned on by a man initiating the action. I'm quickly and totally turned off by a man expecting or asking me to do it.

[rester]

hhmm let me think.

 

No I did.

 

Tell him you set up the first one and it's his turn. Although I don't agree with this guy's dating style, I could ALMOST see his point if he set up the first one. But if you are the one that set up the first one, it's definitely his turn.

[FitChick]

He has four kids. Do you really think you will ever be a priority?

[Gaeta]

He has four kids. Do you really think you will ever be a priority?

 

I am not asking to be a priority. I organized the first date. I initiate contact. I am simply asking that he AT LEAST express interest in having a second date.

 

I love children. I wanted many but life gave me one and she's all grown up now. I am thrilled he has 4 girls. I totally see myself in his world surrounded with PetShop toys and barbies.

[pteromom]

If you like him, go ahead and set up a 2nd date. On that date, talk about how it is important to you that he schedules dates and initiates too, because it lets you know he is into you. If he doesn't then schedule a 3rd date, I would let him go.

[MidwestUSA]

My bigger concern would be that he is only one year out of a very long relationship. Just three years ago, he had a baby with his wife, now he's divorced. Even if you love kids, I'd tread cautiously.

[BluEyeL]

All I can say is that this guy is not interested enough, is arrogant, and it'll not work out. Go ahead and date him, and we'll talk in a while.

[Gaeta]

What is the deal with this guy !!

 

So after his last comment, I simply replied that he was right, I had asked and I got an answer, he was silent for a couple of hours then text 'have a good dinner sweetheart.

 

Sweetheart??? Where does THAT come from !

[Keenly]

Do you think you might be being a little too demanding?

 

 

I mean... tell me which situation is worse.

 

Losing out on a potentially good mate because he doesn't operate in the manner to which you are accustomed, OR Doing most of the work and then having the relationship turn out to be a did.

 

 

 

pick the worst scenario, and choose to do the opposite.

[DazedandConfused8]

So we had the typical first meet. We went for a drink, we both enjoyed our meeting. He gave really nice compliments, walked me to my car and said he'd like to see me again, I said I'd like that as well.

 

He touched base daily, nothing too extended, just perfect.

 

He's a busy man, he works and teaches and has 4 kids. I thought I will let him come up with a second date idea when he has time.

 

Seven days went by and nothing, I felt this needed a little kick.

 

This morning when he text I asked what a girl needed to do to see him again He replied: She needs to schedule a date with me!! I replied in a joking matter: Ok you will have me do your job! and he replied: You asked what a girl needed to do, I answered.

 

Grrr!!! What's that? now what? Do I freakin comply? I forget about it?

 

Wouldn't a man really interested have scheduled a second date by now?

 

What's wrong with that? Do you not have date ideas, or do you feel that that's "his job"?

[Gaeta]

What's wrong with that? Do you not have date ideas, or do you feel that that's "his job"?

 

I have organized the first date from A to Z.

 

If he'd just say 'Gaeta when can I see you again', I would organize date 2 from A to Z no problem.

 

And I ALWAYS meet men that have no ideas so I end up being the organizer. Sigh.....

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

I would give this guy one more chance. If he doesn't take the initiative to schedule date #3 then forget it! I love to plan and organize and I'll only date someone who's willing to plan and organize at least half of the time.

[CarrieT]

Sweetheart??? Where does THAT come from !

He may already be feeling an infinity towards you and no one is a mind-reader to know that saying something like that might bother you...

[rester]

 

If he'd just say 'Gaeta when can I see you again', I would organize date 2 from A to Z no problem.

 

 

Tell him that. Although, now that you've brought it up, you are the one asking for a second date, and not him, and it sounds like it bothers you that you have to be the one asking for a second date. It's up to you whether or not you want to be chasing this guy.

 

If I were you, I'd suggest a second date, time, place, etc, and if he doesn't step up and show more interest during or after that, I'd move on.