cassie803 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Maybe you could clarify? What kind of emotion?
me85 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Showing emotion to an ex who dumped you can be considered being weak. Yes. Showing emotion just in general, though, no. In fact, it takes strength to show emotion. 4
Shepp Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 With such a lack of details... ....emotions that impact your performance/progress negatively are a weakness.. to me at least. 1
dichotomy Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 If it centers on your own self esteem or insecurities - it can be - but it depends on the reasons even in that case. There is a lot of emotional expressions.
Author Jadedbyluv Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Just asking bc I told someone to be patient with me in a relationship because I've been hurt in the past. They were moving very fast. And they said they can't stand weakness. I took it that showing emotion was weakness
me85 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Just asking bc I told someone to be patient with me in a relationship because I've been hurt in the past. They were moving very fast. And they said they can't stand weakness. I took it that showing emotion was weakness I'm sorry but the person you're involved with seems very insensitive. Unnecessarily insensitive. Not to mention, judgmental. Do you really want to keep talking to someone who is so disregarding of your feelings? And from the get go, too.
Author Jadedbyluv Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 I'm sorry but the person you're involved with seems very insensitive. Unnecessarily insensitive. Not to mention, judgmental. Do you really want to keep talking to someone who is so disregarding of your feelings? And from the get go, too. I'm no longer with them but they made me feel bad about expressing myself. It's not easy to talk about my past, and it was cold and abrasive.
me85 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I'm no longer with them but they made me feel bad about expressing myself. It's not easy to talk about my past, and it was cold and abrasive. I'm happy to know you no longer talk to that person. That is cold and abrasive. You certainly don't want to be around anyone who makes you feel like you are weak for expressing your emotions about things that have upset you in the past or the present. How rude! 2
Ronni_W Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I'm no longer with them but they made me feel bad about expressing myself. It's not easy to talk about my past, and it was cold and abrasive. It is not ever wrong to express your own feelings, needs, desires, fears, dreams, sadness. It is healthy and mature and sane. This person could not/cannot deal with honest, genuine emotions...that is, don't know how to be with and treat actual, real, live people. They are emotionally unintelligent. It's their weakness, lack, inability, incapacity...not yours. It's difficult to know who we can truly trust with our deepest, most important stuff and the stuff around which we feel most vulnerable, exposed, at risk. But we ought not let clods like this person stop us from being brave, courageous. (Easier said than done, I know from personal experience.) Hugs. 2
cassie803 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Don't ever let someone make you feel bad for being honest. The right person will take a relationship as slow as you want it to go. 2
laurelin Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Just asking bc I told someone to be patient with me in a relationship because I've been hurt in the past. They were moving very fast. And they said they can't stand weakness. I took it that showing emotion was weakness I don't think you were expressing an emotion, per se. It sounds like you were trying to establish a reasonable boundary. Someone who moves too fast can be a red flag and if the person(s) who hurt you in the past moved fast, then it's completely reasonable and astute of you to take notice. Without knowing the exact circumstances of this relationship, I'd also say you were expressing vulnerability. If it was authentic,it is not weak. When I went to look for supportive evidence for this statement, I came upon a blog article on vulnerability in relationships. The author sums it up quite well: "When accompanied by authenticity and personal accountability, vulnerability is almost always an extremely attractive behavior. When it’s not attractive, then it signals legitimate incompatibility". Mark Manson Thus, someone who is compatible with you and wanting to be in a relationship with you should heed your need for patience and find it attractive. The same author says, "Any expression of emotions or vulnerability must be unconditional, that is, without expectation, otherwise it’s just another form of manipulation." Essentially, this means that, by requesting his patience, you are resolving to question the future of the relationship if he does not slow down. If you're not planning on doing that and you simply wanted him to know you've been hurt in the hopes that he gives you more validation, sympathy and/or understanding, then it is not authentic vulnerability, it is, instead, manipulation and that is a weakness. So, it's good to express emotion when you're setting clear boundaries. If the other person does not respect those boundaries and seeks to diminish them (or you), then you should definitely take that into consideration when you're assessing the potential for a relationship. 2
todreaminblue Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 if you show genuine emotion all you are doing is being honest and if someone cant take that honesty and classes you as weak ...then that person is the one with the problem not you..being vulnerable with someone is an attribute to closeness.....if they use your genuine emotions against you to put you down....doesnt make them a good person now does it....but....i have found some times people who are not comfortable with emotions have been either hurt in the past or grown up in a stifled environment so they dont know how to take it.....and they wall up against it...breaking down those barriers is possible with time and understanding....to get close to that person and their emotions........but then...there are just some people who are dickheads and like hurting others and dont show their emotions and see emotion as weakness...dicks.......is he a dickhead at all times or does he show compassion and caring.........deb
stillafool Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Just asking bc I told someone to be patient with me in a relationship because I've been hurt in the past. They were moving very fast. And they said they can't stand weakness. I took it that showing emotion was weakness Were you crying when you told him or were you just stating your point? If you were not crying I can't understand why he would call you weak.
Recommended Posts