organic chemistry Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 how to show interest to my guy friend? i really think he will be a great bf to have...but we r so friend-friend relationship with no romantic intention we hang out as a group very often...i'm new to the sch and the friends group last fall...but now i'm into the friends group and i get to hang out with them...(ie. he will call and let me know if everyone is going to eat,etc) BUT we r not the dating relationship at all...sometimes i get to eat lunch/dinner with him one on one...but since we r only friends...i keep everything light and friendly with no romantic spark... we have friendship already...we have things in common... HOW should i move it to the next level? all i think of it's to tell him bluntly...i'm so bad at giving hint...i'm not smart enough to create a romantic moment to tell him either....i can only think of telling him straightforward...what can i do? Also he likes to play basketball...and i like to play as well...so he always call me to play with the guy friends as well...so i'm the only girl who's willing to go and play with all guys on the court...other girl friends think it's too aggressive with body contacts...is it a really bad idea? i feel like i'm tomboy and just he's never gonna think of me romantically at all....should i go play basketball with all guys? i play gd though...it's impressing to him that a girl like me play this well...but i really feel tomboyish
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 28, 2005 Posted February 28, 2005 You can still keep your tomboyish-ness that appeals to him as a friend, but you can also bolster up your womanhood to see if he would be attracted in other ways. This will require a leap of faith - one which might not work in your favor. Telling a guy friend that you like him as more than friends will result in one of two likely scenarios: you'll either begin dating, or he'll begin avoiding you if he doesn't feel that way about you. Sometimes you can get the friendship back, but for the most part 'love' will kill 'just friends'. You'll need to decide if its worth it to you to take that leap and determine if you are willing to lose what you have to get what you want. To get him to see you differently, you'll have to present yourself differently. If you don't want to be stuck as the 'friend girl' you'll have to pull back on presenting yourself as one. Take a look at the type of woman he's attracted to. What do his girlfriends have that make them girlfriend material and you friend material? Make subtle changes to yourself to incorporate some of these qualities into yourself and present them in his presence. Do things that enhance, rather than mask your womanhood. If you normally wear big baggy clothing or very casual clothing, then wear things that are the same but more form fitting to accent your body. Add a touch of perfume. A bit of subtle makeup (I only wear a bit of mascara, lightly smudged eyeliner, and colored lipgloss and it works for me). Wear your hair differently. You don't want to change who you are, you just want to enhance who you are by drawing out a few feminine qualities. If its more of a 'mindset' thing, then that's a little harder. You'll have to figure out that fine line between 'acting like a friend' and 'acting like an available woman'. Show him you are making an effort to get his attention with these subtle changes. That is what will differentiate you from how he sees you on an everyday 'friend' basis. Unless he's a dunce, he'll notice. He may not say anything but he'll notice. Once he does, you'll need to make that decision. I'd base it on his reaction to your changes. If he reacts positively - as in "wow, you look awesome/pretty/etc, then you have a better chance than if he reacts negatively - as in "what are you doing to yourself" (said in a tone of dismay). His reaction is a pretty good indicator of how he feels about your changes - which on some level he'll recognize for what they are. If he reacts positively, then make the leap. If you get a gut sensation, no matter how small - that he is reacting negatively then back it off. You'll then need to decide whether you can continue being 'friends' when really you are hiding a hopeful heart. You never know though, your changes might just attract the attention of someone you hadn't expected and wouldn't mind dating!
Author organic chemistry Posted March 1, 2005 Author Posted March 1, 2005 Thx LucreziaBorgia for ur advice! i'm tomboyish becoz i hang out with all guys and play basketball and physically push and got pushed... but i do wear girly clothes with subtle makeup as well... i guess the problem is how i present myselft...i'm really cheerful and sporty and active well...he commented that he thinks girls should be more active and sporty...but "he thinks girls should"...NOT "he thinks a gf material should"... and i'm not flirty enough...like most of time i'm really straightforward and do things efficiently...i think too much flirting will make things and plans inefficient... well...his gf before...obviously they r not as sporty or active as me...one of the girls i know...he started chasing her last nov...they got together for a month but then broke up...that girl was really girly and cute type...not she looks cute...but she acts cute...ie talks really high pitch and do girlie gestures...i'm the totally opposite of her...but then the reason they broke up was that the girl is the cute type with no practical plans for future,job or anything....he said he wanted someone smarter and make practical plans i really dunno what to do...i'm not really tomboyish nor really girlie...but i just hang out like a friend...really gentle and polite and never go overboard with fliriting and always practical and i dunno how to change it...
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