hotpotato Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Can it work? What if they had been dating others while rejecting you?
Priv Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 My guess is not. Especially since you have been rejected before in the past 4 years. Do you want to be the 'mew, why not since I have nothing better going on gf'? But it might work out. Though I am not big fan of friends first relationships.
Author hotpotato Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 My guess is not. Especially since you have been rejected before in the past 4 years. Do you want to be the 'mew, why not since I have nothing better going on gf'? But it might work out. Though I am not big fan of friends first relationships. No, I dont want to be second pick. I guess its moot now since the poop hit the fan yesterday and we are no longer talking. It wasnt like we were friends. At first we went on a few dates. Then he started dating other women. He pulled out every reason on earth as to why he wouldnt date me. I mean dumb stuff, like how I used to send text messages. When a relationship with someone else would fizzle, he would run to me.
candie13 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 No, I dont want to be second pick. I guess its moot now since the poop hit the fan yesterday and we are no longer talking. It wasnt like we were friends. At first we went on a few dates. Then he started dating other women. He pulled out every reason on earth as to why he wouldnt date me. I mean dumb stuff, like how I used to send text messages. When a relationship with someone else would fizzle, he would run to me. you're his safety net. You already have a pattern and it's dysfunctional. Stop it and start meeting a new bloke. Fresh start. If the two of you had only been friends and never dated eachother before, I'd say "go for it". The basis of every relationship is / should be a solid friendship, beyond and above love, IMO. Sorry girl, move on.
Author hotpotato Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 you're his safety net. You already have a pattern and it's dysfunctional. Stop it and start meeting a new bloke. Fresh start. If the two of you had only been friends and never dated eachother before, I'd say "go for it". The basis of every relationship is / should be a solid friendship, beyond and above love, IMO. Sorry girl, move on. I feel like a safety net. We were supposed to go out to dinner yesterday, but I cancelled at the last minute. He got mad and said I had ruined the chance of building something. Yes, we were building something-friendship. We had a good time talking on the phone a few nights ago. Im past being interested in him romantically, but what he said still hurt me.
Author hotpotato Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 (edited) So, he and I went on a date. He didnt try to get in my pants, thats a plus. He has acted excited about me only to disappear in the past. Edited November 20, 2014 by hotpotato
Mr Scorpio Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 It can work. The way I look at it, compatibility is king in relationships. "Spark" is very important of course. But that lovey-dovey infatuation fades for most people. What is left is compatibility. And who do we share compatibility more with than our friends? You wouldn't be friends with them if you weren't compatible with them. Of course, there is something to be said for the matter of dating other people while rejecting you. Often times there is a "light-bulb" moment where one person begins to view the other in a very different light. I think "you're a great friend but I don't see you in that light" rejection is different from "you're not my type" rejection. While I wouldn't fault someone for not pursuing a friend-based relationship after being rejected by that person, my personal experience with the situation was wonderful by-and-large: a very organic relationship with little-to-no drama and zero fighting.
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