lil_missy Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 thanks for reading this long post, so a while ago someone stole my dog and tried to extort money from me. i didnt know what to do so i called the police. the police man that i spoke to was so helpful and nice and he basically helped me get my dog back. i was so happy and thankful. then the police man emailed me a couple of weeks later, asking if i'd had anymore trouble with that dog thief and i replied no its been all good and we had a short conversation. after that i asked him if i could thank him over coffee. the reason i asked was 1) because i was thankful, 2) bcuz my friends thought he was trying to hit on me by following up with me so i wanted to test if their theory was right. i was surprised when he accepted and starting emailing me from his private email. we started emailing each other heavily everyday about 50 emails a day. we exchanged pictures since we haven't met each other before only talked on the phone. luckily we both liked what we saw =) it turns out he is only a few yrs older than me. the conversation quickly got very raunchy and we sent each other naughty pictures and i was so turned on by the whole situation, after seeing him in such a professional way, now I'm discovering this super naughty side of him. but it wasn't just that we'd have normal conversations too about anything and he was so easy to talk to. it felt so natural and nice and he seemed perfect for me. now its only been 5 days since we started emailing so i don't know if I'm over reacting or not. but i feel like I'm starting to develop feelings for him and I'm so scared of getting hurt if he doesn't feel the same way. he tells me that he loves our convos and that I'm amazing and incredible but he hasn't tried to meet up with me or asked for my phone number. he keeps talking about how much his attracted to me and things he wants to do to me so i don't get why he hasn't tried to meet me? i asked him would he like to meet up sometime? and he told me he would love to but he is going on leave and going to stay with family 3 hrs away for a couple weeks but he will try to come back to see me even if for one day, but he is not sure it will happen. so i told him thats completely fine just let me know. today he told he was still in melb finishing some police reports and asked me if i'd like to go to the gym with him. this just pissed me off so much because 1) he said he couldn't meet me coz he was going to staying with family 3 hrs away, but in fact his not leaving til tmr. so all this time he could have met me if he wanted. 2) he goes to the gym at 4am in the morning thats his routine, so he knows i wouldn't go. his basically asking me to go but expecting no for an answer. i replied and told him to ask me on a proper date then i might go. and he just laughed and said thats fair enough. i just don't understand why he would make such a jerk move like this i was so pissed off. he has always been respectful and sweet and this is the worst thing he has ever said to me. i feel like his playing me and doesn't plan to meet me and maybe just wants me as a texting buddy or something. so can somebody tell me, am I'm over reacting? should i give this time? or is the fact he hasn't tried to meet me in person or get my number is a red flag? thanks
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I wouldn't trust this guy if I were you, you're not the first or the last he's done this with. He's definitely playing IMO because of how he's going about this. 1
aussietigerwolf Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I had a couple of guys do this to me, i just ended up not talking to them as neither had any intention of meeting or exchanging phone numbers.
Author lil_missy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 i do see what you guys mean and I'm most worried that he is in a relationship already. so does no1 think i just need to give this time? i mean he hasn't come up with all kinds of excuses to not meet me, i just asked him once and he said he'd love to meet and will try to work something out. i thought he might have been a decent guy since he seemed like a good cop, passionate about his job.
Sweetnothing Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 You haven't even met him and sent him lewd photos? If he does meet up with you I can tell you already it's gonna be to see how fast he can get you in bed and you'll probably never hear from him again. You've shown him he doesn't have to do anything to earn naughty pictures so what makes you think he's gonna put in any effort now? Of course he's gonna say things that don't add up and string you along, you gave everything away! 2
Zippy2000 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Ive had this happen to me before. People who just write me emails or just text. Looking back with hindsight. If a person hasnt met you withing 2 weeks or a month at the most it isnt likely going to happen. The way I find out nowadays if they are for real is I mention Im not looking for a penfriend and then I suggest the weekend for a drink. If theyre not ready they may rexschedule but if they arent interested they wont agree or go out with you. This guy may have a girlfriend or wife and he may have just fun by flirting with you. 2
Tetley Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 You sure this guy had nothing to do with taking your dog? So for your first proper date he suggests you go to a 4am gym session? That's more than a little odd. Then there's the vague info + not wanting to meet... I'd drop this guy as quickly - but be as cool as possible. If he turns psycho report him to his superiors as a last resort. In my experience some police people are worse than the guys they lock up. Different sides of the same coin.
Raena Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I agree with all of the above posters... You gave too much away too fast to him. He's got something else going on... he's either married or dating someone. It's only been a week since you started emailing? Did you actually ever meet up for that coffee you offered? Something just doesn't sound right here. It seems to me that if he has time to email you upwards of 50 times a day, then he has time to meet for coffee. If he doesn't and he keeps blowing you off, then stop communicating with him and be done with it.
Zahara Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 he has always been respectful and sweet and this is the worst thing he has ever said to me. He has always been respectful and sweet -- the 6.7 days you've known him? I'm not sure why you're going full speed ahead, banking on some guy you don't even know. Quit the emotional fantasy in your head and ground yourself. You don't know this guy. People can present themselves any way they want over text/email/phone when they first meet you, it doesn't mean it's who they are. He's probably married or has a girlfriend. It's not uncommon for guys that are attached to dangle another woman on a string. It provides them with a little bit of excitement and distraction. If he's not attached, he's not really that into you. It's perfectly clear to see. And I'm going with Sweetnothing --- you set the bar low when you sent him lewd pictures. The only thing you've shown him is that he can get you where he needs you to be. You should know better, OP. 3
sooshi Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 This is really disturbing to me. Not only has he crossed lines (I don't think it is appropriate at ALL for someone in his position to have these types of interactions with someone who was involved in a case he worked on), but this is just... really disturbing to me. I hope you never send someone lewd pictures again when you've never even met the person. I'm sorry to say that you've given your attention way too easily to him and he's taken full advantage of it and of you. You need to slow down when you're dealing with people you're attracted to. You hardly know this guy. Get out of your fantasy. He clearly doesn't have the same emotional investment in you as you do in him. As Zahara once told me, and clown can tell you great things that will get you the reaction and attention they want. And that's what this guy is--a gigantic clown.
Author lil_missy Posted September 10, 2014 Author Posted September 10, 2014 So after some facebook stalking yday I found out that his actually married!!! For 2 yrs now. I cant believe it. It may not be a surprised to some ppl but it really was to me . I was starting to trust him and we couldnt meet coz I went to holiday for 2 weeks but we talked everyday.
Assasda Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 I personally think youre over-reacting. Make a specific time to meet up. Tell him that youre tired of email or whatever, its easy
preraph Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 Oh, well. You can't really fault him that much. Because you pretty much initiated it. I'm just glad you found out he was married. So now you know. At least he didn't give you false hopes. And let's not forget he did find your dog. To me, that would make him my friend for life.
Assasda Posted September 10, 2014 Posted September 10, 2014 This is why you should meet people, and not fall in love online. Nigerian Prince scam anyone? - Always meet as soon as possible
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