Rexxy Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I've known this girl for around two weeks now and today we had an excursion with uni. Fast foward and it ended up only been me and her together for the whole day and we got along really well and got to know each other quite a lot. She talked about her ex-boyfriend a little bit, and told me how she recently went out one night with him and his friends. So after that I thought she was unavailable. Then she mentioned him again a few mins later along with his name and said that "we're still friends or whatever". I didn't ask any questions about him and moved on from that subject. But she did mention him quite a bit during the day but nothing that made me really think they're still going out. What should I make of this? And im pretty sure this guy is a good family friend of hers.
Zippy2000 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Shes "sign posting" you she still has feeling for her ex.
Author Rexxy Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Shes "sign posting" you she still has feeling for her ex. So I should stay away for now?
freebird31 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 She is not over him at all. To answer your question , no she is not available not if U want to risk being dragged along as a rebound anyway...
Author Rexxy Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 She is not over him at all. To answer your question , no she is not available not if U want to risk being dragged along as a rebound anyway... Ok thanks for that.
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 Ok so now I'm wondering if I should just ask her out? In class today we sat next tog each other talking and joking through the day, at the end of the class instead of leaving with her friends she stayed back and walked with me. During the class one of her friends asked her out loud if "she was going to some festival with her bf" and she replied quite loud and clear "we aren't together anymore so probably not" and then started talking to me again. What do you guys think?
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Ok so now I'm wondering if I should just ask her out? In class today we sat next tog each other talking and joking through the day, at the end of the class instead of leaving with her friends she stayed back and walked with me. During the class one of her friends asked her out loud if "she was going to some festival with her bf" and she replied quite loud and clear "we aren't together anymore so probably not" and then started talking to me again. What do you guys think? I hate these mixed messages like these. The girl doesn't even realize she's doing it. She's interested in you, but I think her subconscious is still on her ex. It has nothing to do with you. Some people can't see what's right in front of them when their mind is all funked up. I would ease off and remove yourself, and return at a later date.
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Oh not to mention... You don't want to be that rebound, or start investing your emotions in her when she is so fresh out of a relationship. Let her heal. If you were that great guy when she had someone, she will remember that. And that's a hard thing for girls to find. Back burn this one. And put it on slow burn for a later date.
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 I hate these mixed messages like these. The girl doesn't even realize she's doing it. She's interested in you, but I think her subconscious is still on her ex. It has nothing to do with you. Some people can't see what's right in front of them when their mind is all funked up. I would ease off and remove yourself, and return at a later date. That's what my mind is telling me as well, I'll just wait a bit until she's moved on a bit more. I would rather wait until she's in the right mind set. Patience is a virtue. I'll back off a little bit.
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 Oh not to mention... You don't want to be that rebound, or start investing your emotions in her when she is so fresh out of a relationship. Let her heal. If you were that great guy when she had someone, she will remember that. And that's a hard thing for girls to find. Back burn this one. And put it on slow burn for a later date. Amazing advice, I haven't started investing emotions in her just yet so it's probably good you've told me this. I'll stay low in the mean time and come back to it later since we'll probably be in the same class for the next 2 years.
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 I agree with these fine people on here, but I dont think you should back off. If you stay friends with her, its going to be hard for her to see you as anything else, unless youre a scertain kind of character. -Therefore you can be a flirty friend, and still not get with her I think you should go out with her, and have fun, just dont put too much pressure on the situation and let her come to you
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 I agree with these fine people on here, but I dont think you should back off. If you stay friends with her, its going to be hard for her to see you as anything else, unless youre a scertain kind of character. -Therefore you can be a flirty friend, and still not get with her I think you should go out with her, and have fun, just dont put too much pressure on the situation and let her come to you So many mixed opinions, I think I'll just let it flow naturally. I'm always flirting and teasing her, trust me I know how to keep out of the friend zone. Because she did bring up a possible idea for a date, she keeps bringing up this place she hasn't been to before and how she looked at the website for it the night before. Think it may be a pretty big hint. Thanks for your help. 1
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 If you don't make a romantic move early on, you're in the friend zone. If she is talking to you about her ex... You're in the friend zone. She is talking about setting up a time to go somewhere with you -- it doesn't mean she is romantically interested. This is why I said back off a little. Become busy with your life and then return in a couple months or so when things freshen up for her. THEN put the moves on; and she'll be much more receptive.
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Anytime you're around; even if you're the flirty and fun teasing guy... You're just her fun, flirty, teasing guy FRIEND. It will be aggravating for you to be so close to her, flirting and teasing her if it doesn't lead to romance from her end. Timing is SO key for move making. At the time it would backfire. Sacrifice your time put in, get busy with your life, let her hit up a guy for a rebound (so you're not) then move in for your actual objective in the fall. Trust me! Right now... She is lonely from not having her BF around, so she's going to use a guy (you) to warm that spot until the healing is done. Will prolly have sex... But then drop you when she can walk on her own again.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 She wants to date you. Officially her & her BF are broken up so she's technically available. However, her constant mentioning of him means she's not over him yet & you are in very big danger of being the rebound. The other side is that if you wait too much longer to ask her out she may conclude that you aren't interested & therefore friend-zone you because she feels rejected. It's a tough balance. Since she's hinting, if you can keep your emotions in check, go ahead & ask her out. If during the date she mentions the EX, you need to call her on it & make sure where you both stand.
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 Anytime you're around; even if you're the flirty and fun teasing guy... You're just her fun, flirty, teasing guy FRIEND. It will be aggravating for you to be so close to her, flirting and teasing her if it doesn't lead to romance from her end. Timing is SO key for move making. At the time it would backfire. Sacrifice your time put in, get busy with your life, let her hit up a guy for a rebound (so you're not) then move in for your actual objective in the fall. Trust me! Right now... She is lonely from not having her BF around, so she's going to use a guy (you) to warm that spot until the healing is done. Will prolly have sex... But then drop you when she can walk on her own again. But I'm not really sure how I can back off when I'm not really trying to impress her or trying to 'get her' in the first place. She's the one pursuing me sitting next to me in class, suggesting ideas, and also initiating conversation. I didn't wait for her at the end of the class because I had to finish my work, she waited for me. I don't go out of my way at all to get her attention or try to impress her. She comes to me. Yeah it won't be hard for me to stay back and wait since that's what I'm doing already. I'm not crazy about her or anything like that and I don't talk to her on facebook unless she messages me. The only time I see her are in class, I'm busy with life and dit doesn't revolve around her. Even though waiting it out seems like a valid reason it also makes me think that I'll for sure enter the friend zone. And I didn't have a conversation with her about the ex-bf, it just seemed to come up every so often.
Author Rexxy Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 She wants to date you. Officially her & her BF are broken up so she's technically available. However, her constant mentioning of him means she's not over him yet & you are in very big danger of being the rebound. The other side is that if you wait too much longer to ask her out she may conclude that you aren't interested & therefore friend-zone you because she feels rejected. It's a tough balance. Since she's hinting, if you can keep your emotions in check, go ahead & ask her out. If during the date she mentions the EX, you need to call her on it & make sure where you both stand. Exactly what I said in my last reply about the friend zone and she has made it pretty clear that she is not with her bf anymore but I can tell she's not completely over him which is understandable after a breakup. I can keep my emotions in check since I've developed a range of skills in the last few months with other girls. And by call her out on the ex-bf, what do you mean? I usually just ignore it and move on because it doesn't really affect me at all. I'm more talking about it now because I couldn't tell if she was single or in a complicated relationship but she's now made it quite clear that she is single. I'll wait till she contacts me later in the week because she already said that'll she message me for some notes from class that she can't make.
d0nnivain Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 By call her out I mean gently point out that you are on a date & that she's still talking about HIM.
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