FitChick Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) Actually, it was four questions for a guy on a new OLD site I joined just for the heck of it since I wasn't ready to pay my usual online website just yet. This was just for practice. On paper, he looks promising. I sent a long, chatty email with carefully planted questions mingled amongst the dross so as not to appear like an interrogation. I have deal breakers I am looking for. 1. When was your divorce final? 2. Do your two kids live with you? 3. Does your elderly dad live with you? 4. Asked about his spirituality since he referenced it in his profile. I am looking for a spiritual guy. However, that is the least important question compared to the first three. In the past week these have been his replies. He wrote more often than I did: Many thanks for your absolutely lovely e-mail which I will promise to write a full reply to and answer your questions and let you know how my own hectic work schedule and career is going too as there have been a couple of interesting twists and turns there too include the house sale which I have now pulled out of for some very good reasons as I will explain later! I am still at work at [company] where I am boarding at a B&B at present mid week, but meeting a few of my engineers from the team I run this evening for a well earned Indian restaurant meal for all! I look forward to writing to you more later on here and hope your own work goes well today All the best, Ps; and in answer to one of your questions at least ... .... my spirituality is borne more out of a well-traveled, open minded, culturally cosmopolitan, geologically and geographically aware, artistic and romantically creative observation of the world around us and its long human (and planet Gaia) history that has led to the multitude of scary secular religions and philosophies of so many peoples, all searching for an answer, seeking reassurance from something bigger or a higher being then themselves or sadly still trying to force their insular will and dogmatic beliefs onto those who disagree with them. So ultimately, also having studied and practiced Hatha Yoga in the past, plus attended Sunday school at Church as a kid, I have learned to see the world with what I consider to be old geologically attuned eyes and meditate too, plus say a few prayers of my own, to myself though never in a Church unless at funerals or weddings but out in the great wild open, which works for me, in my own little way. The thought of being trapped or confined to a or within a singular man made religion or set of fixed beliefs or having no feelings of a higher self or being part of something way beyond our small planet, I find hard to comprehend equally to be a complete atheist or cynical agnostic seems a very impoverished view of the world too! Oh well, I hope that his explain a little more of me, which I also hope is ok for you and perhaps illustrates my right-left, science-art approach to my life's philosophy. ------------ Apologies I was unable to write more of a reply last night as I worked till late and by the time I got back to the hotel I had to go out straight away to meet one if my senior engineers and two of my best CAD designers for dinner in town and didn't get back till nearly midnight after a long dinner and chat, which invariably ends up discussing work, which means you never switch off! Up early this morning for a stack of meetings including a supplier review, so another hectic day ahead. It's a beautiful day weather wise outside and will be low 20's today. Hope your day ahead is good and your boss being away means you can get things done, Cheers for now and I will aim to reply more to your lovely e-mail from yesterday when I get a quiet moment over coffee later on this afternoon Take care, ----------- Thank you for your lovely and equally brief e-mail yesterday, likewise I have not forgotten to reply in more detail to you too for your first great letter to me here. My working week is completely bonkers working 8 to 8 eating late with work colleagues and bed late to get up early for 10mile drive to from [company] and hotel in [town]! I was supposed to have driven back to my engineering consultancy HQ which is 150 miles back to [town] and 20 miles from my home! Still here at [company] eating a late cheese and tomatoes sandwich and strong black filter coffee! I will write lots more and answer your questions over this weekend, Kind regards --------- No time to answer three simple questions but plenty of time to write the first chapters of a novel! Edited August 18, 2014 by FitChick 1
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Man those were boring. I've come across some dating profiles and read responses from men and women of older age... They type f*cking novels... On and on and on and on. Keep messages simple and factual. My thought on why he avoided these questions.... a) none of your business yet. b) his kids and father still live with him, and divorce is not yet done. So he distracted you with other things going on in his life to entice. c) he avoided your answers, and that says enough. 3
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 "I look forward to writing to you more later on here" "Cheers for now and I will aim to reply more" "I will write lots more and answer your questions over this weekend" He is stringing you along by giving you information -- that you didn't ask. Then saying in a way "If you're patient and we keep talking, then I will give you the answers to the questions." In his first response. He gave you the most simple question answered, and he is CLEARLY ignoring the 3. He is making you get to know his lifestyle, then will open up at a later date. He is not comfortable with you yet and feels those answers will be a deal breaker. He's trapping you in a way. Making it more difficult for you to break connection if you don't like the answers.
Author FitChick Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 I agree with your interpretations. I don't mind reading a man's 'novel' if it is full of relevant information. I've already moved on and haven't bothered replying. Not taking this one too seriously.
CarrieT Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I don't mind reading a man's 'novel' if it is full of relevant information. I've already moved on and haven't bothered replying. Not taking this one too seriously. Really? I found his response insightful and intelligent... I would have appreciated having that information. The rest of the stuff that is deal-breakers for you? Why do you care when the divorce is final? The kid stuff, yeah, I can see that... And how are elderly parents a deal breaker?
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Look at the way his letters are typed. He has put significant thought in to these. Edited well, spelling is great, he's read over it so it flows. The words he is using are precise like he has a clear objective of what he is doing. He knows he is actively making you chase. He's no stranger to this hide and seek, ring-around-the-rosie, "chase me" game... . . . ....But not smart enough for Ol' Supernatural. ----CSI MIAMI JOKE------- Looks like the mouse just got...*puts on sunglasses*....Caught in his own trap ***EEEEEYYYYYAAAAHHH*****
Ronni_W Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 No time to answer three simple questions but plenty of time to write the first chapters of a novel! :laugh: You are so right! Except that you forgot to add "pretentious" in there somewhere. He obviously is dodging your questions 1, 2 and 3. I guess you were supposed to become too fascinated, enchanted that he found your email "lovely" Thanks for sharing, FitChick...I needed the laugh. 1
Author FitChick Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Really? I found his response insightful and intelligent... I would have appreciated having that information. The rest of the stuff that is deal-breakers for you? Why do you care when the divorce is final? The kid stuff, yeah, I can see that... And how are elderly parents a deal breaker? I am only dating for marriage. Someone newly divorced, if indeed he is even divorced, doesn't want to remarry right away. Takes at least two years for them to recover emotionally and financially, in my experience. I learned this the hard way. I don't want to live with kids in the home and I don't want their parents living there either. All the men I date are "insightful and intelligent" as well as successful. I prefer it. 2
Gold Pile Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 All the men I date are "insightful and intelligent" as well as successful. I prefer it. here I am!
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