Augustrain79 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 When I was 11 years old there was a kid whose grandparents lived next door. He always used to talk to me through our bedroom windows at night. He was actually my first date ever (Home Alone) and first kiss and I was his first date and kiss too. I've seen him on and off through the years around the area.. he sold my sister a car, saw him out at a bar/pool hall when I was married, and he says that we hung out once before I met my now exhusband but for the life of me I can't remember it or what we did. Anyway we recently reconnected through Tinder of all things, and then he added me on Facebook. We are both obviously single now. He texted me every day several times a day for the week before we met up. I went to his apt Wednesday night (his night off) and he made me dinner and we caught up on each others lives and watched a movie.. I had an amazing time. I left and he told me to call him when I got home.. but I was only half way home and he called me instead to tell me something. Then I called him back when I got home and he asked me to do something weekend during the day (he works nights). He told me he'd talk to me the next day... but a half hour later he texted me that he had a great time and liked spending time with me... and then a half hour later he texted me again "sweet dreams".... lol I was already asleep. flashforward... I hear from him sparsely on Thursday and Friday, but no more talk about what day we are going to meet this weekend, so late Friday night I asked what day he wanted to get together and he told me to pick a day and I said "Saturday." and he said Ok. No time or anything else said. Saturday I get up, get ready... and wait... and wait... and wait. I felt like a bit of a moron actually. around 230 (he has to go to work in two hours at this point) he texts and says "crap he just woke up"... he told me that he worked til 4 am the previous night. I wasn't really sure how to handle it... so I was pleasant enough back but short.... I told him that I'm glad he got to sleep, and he wrote back "me too".... And thats it.. nothing the rest of the night and nothing today. Part of me wants to believe that I should be forgiving and wait and see and be open, but the logical part of me keeps thinking this... "If he really was as excited to see me as he makes out, he would have set and alarm to wake up even a couple hours earlier. AND I really didn't even get an apology for ruining my day." The plan was for me to go to his place he manages for kareoke tomorrow night, but I'm definitely not going if he doesn't contact me and also not going if he stood me up... did he?
Ronni_W Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Just so I have this right...you said "Saturday" but other than that no plans were made at all? If so, no, you were not stood up...there were NO PLANS for anything definite to happen. He isn't even aware that you ruined your own day by getting ready for, er, something that he had not even agreed to (whatever it was in your head). If you want, you can check if he is still expecting you at the karaoke night. Or, you can wait for him to contact you about that...that would also be fair, IMO. 1
Author Augustrain79 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Thanks for your pleasant input. No, no time.... but he did ask me to hang out during the day, and the night before it was confirmed that it was that day, so your insinuation that I just seem to have made something up is ridiculous. I don't think I'll be contacting him... that seems fair to me too. thanks again...
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Working nights sucks. It's entirely possible that he messed up his schedule and didn't realize he was sleeping in. I'd find a way to have him politely recognize that he's messed up and you should forgive him.
preraph Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Don't give up. But he sounds disorganized. He wants to see you.
Author Augustrain79 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 Yeah I know it sucks... I'm waiting to hear from him before I jump to forgivness though. My friends have said not to give up yet too, but the more time that goes by without any form of communication seems to be telling me that he overslept because it really wasn't something he was interested in doing after all. I think it's in his court right now to reschedule honestly.
DazedandConfused8 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I think it's in his court right now to reschedule honestly. And if he's thinking it's in your court, you two could never see each other again because of a stupid misunderstanding.
Supernatural Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I would wait until Tuesday to see if he messages, or calls. Don't make a decision yet, because you two did have a good time. Don't insinuate anything at this point -- you still don't really know what's going on in his life, even though you know him. If he doesn't message by Tuesday, and you're still interested, message him Tuesday night. I think his mind is over-worked and he may have simply forgot due to who knows what. 1
BlueIris Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 That’s why I don’t like the, “Let’s do something… sometime” non-invitation. I’d let him go and if he ever does ask you out, make sure you make definite plans –day, time, activity- when he extends the invitation. I figure if someone isn’t at least as polite and considerate as they would be with a client or business associate, he isn’t into me, or he’s going to be a mushy wet rag (blech) throughout the relationship anyway, so what’s the point? 2
ashy555 Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I had this happen to me a few times by different men.. Turns out I always went after jerks and WISH I could have knocked them back after treating me like this. Although my situations may have been slightly different. One time I was asked to catch up and he suggested that night we go Christmas shopping but he would let me know for sure later on. Gets to 8pm.. I'm ready just in case and waiting.. while becoming more anxious. I text him only to have him say 'sorry I've been conned into drinks at my mates place. I was so upset but let him get away with it. I had forgotten about it as soon as he msged me the next day. Another asked to catch up that night... I msged him asking about a time. Once again I am ready and still had no reply so I called him at 8:30pm to find I had woken him up. I still met up with him at about 9:30 for a bite to eat. Both these guys turned out to be rude, disrespectful, arrogant pricks who I let treat me like crap over and over. I regret it. I would say give him one more chance and see if he contacts you and organizes another time but be weary he may be a wishy washy unreliable type of guy! Its called setting an alarm. 1
54JA Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I would give him the benefit of the doubt and another chance. But if he does it again, I would really re-evaluate things. 1
Author Augustrain79 Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 Thank you all for your input. I actually texted him briefly last night and he was short (one word answers) and to the point with his answers and never mentioned tonight.... so I guess its a no go as well. He hasn't bothered trying to contact me at all since Saturday. I think you last few ladies are right, that it's a sign of how he would be if in the long term. Especially just expecting someone to drop everything last minute... It just seems like a sign of disrespect and a good set up for something casual, which I'm not about. I'm thinking I don't have to give him the benefit of the doubt because his silence or lack of trying to set anything up (which he is capable of) is telling enough for me. So sad... with all the history there and what an amazing date we had I really thought something may come of it. Men will forever confuse me...
Supernatural Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Thank you all for your input. I actually texted him briefly last night and he was short (one word answers) and to the point with his answers and never mentioned tonight.... so I guess its a no go as well. He hasn't bothered trying to contact me at all since Saturday. I think you last few ladies are right, that it's a sign of how he would be if in the long term. Especially just expecting someone to drop everything last minute... It just seems like a sign of disrespect and a good set up for something casual, which I'm not about. I'm thinking I don't have to give him the benefit of the doubt because his silence or lack of trying to set anything up (which he is capable of) is telling enough for me. So sad... with all the history there and what an amazing date we had I really thought something may come of it. Men will forever confuse me... Sucks. But.. Always call. It's easier to get a sense of a person and how they actually feel. Text... They can think for awhile about the best response. If someone doesn't answer calls... They are either playing games, or are not interested.
Assasda Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Yeah, leave this guy alone. Men should follow up with what they plan, if they dont, for no good reason, they're not looking for what youre looking for. Leave him be and move on OP 1
Standard-Fare Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 It's not the fact that he slept in Saturday, it's the way he handled it. He should have been more apologetic and he should been in touch to emphasize those other karaoke plans. Instead he just fell off. I agree that you need to be wary of people like this, who are disrespectful of your time/planning. It's never the best sign. However, I also think texting can lead to a lot of unfortunate misunderstandings, esp. between men and women while they're getting to know each other. So if he does propose another hangout, it might be worth giving him one more shot just to see what's up.
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