Underthebodhitree Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Another title for this post could be... I'm a grown ass woman, why am I still dealing with this? Anyway, I'm in my 30s, divorced, and have 3 fairly young kids. Back in April, I met a great man who is a year younger than me, divorced, no kids. We dated for 2 months and then he had to leave. He works as a park ranger and was sent to a location 2500 miles away from June-October. He's planning to be back here in Nov, but things can change at the last moment, it seems. So I'm not counting on him being back until he's actually here. And if he does move back, there's a good chance it could be another seasonal thing. So that's the background. The long distance thing makes it more complicated for now, especially because he works/lives in a place where there's no cell reception or internet. So he has to call me when he goes into town on his days off. But I did go and visit and things are good. Really good. So I can deal with the distance, especially if it's relatively short term. But... It's strange. I can't shake the feeling that I'm in for big heartbreak. His life and mine are so different. He likes to travel and can pick up and move whenever he wants and it's no big deal. But I have kids and a job and a house and can't do that. At least not for the next 12 years or so. But, I mean, he's not stupid. He knows I have kids and that I can't drop everything to follow him all over the world. And I would assume that if he didn't see us as being somewhat long term, he/we wouldn't have bothered keeping things going while he's working so far away. When he started driving out in May, he turned around and drove back after 4 hours to stay with me for a few days longer. But... I don't see how he would be happy living "my life" when he so loves to wander and travel, yknow? I don't want him to have to change who he is, but I can't trust my heart to someone again just to have it broken. I just can't go through that again. The other thing is that he's not exactly verbose when it comes to emotions and stuff. I don't know if he considers me a girlfriend, or calls me his girlfriend. I don't even know that that matters. He does/says things out of the blue sometimes that literally take my breath away, but he's not professing undying love on a daily basis. And he's also super well mannered and polite. Mao sometimes I wonder if he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I'm just wondering how other people see this. And yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, and I will, but probably not before he moves back later this fall. I feel like I'm in middle school again and it's driving me nuts! Lol
HappyLove Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 " I don't see how he would be happy living "my life" when he so loves to wander and travel, yknow? I don't want him to have to change who he is, but I can't trust my heart to someone again just to have it broken. I just can't go through that again." Sorry to be the one to inform you but even if you found someone to live "your life" it doesn't guarantee that they won't break your heart. From the way you describe it this is a good guy who is into you and "your life" so don't mess it up by making up a bunch of assumptions. He's making you happy and literally taking your breath away just calm down and enjoy what you have and see where it goes. I'm betting the one who DID break your heart gave you a bunch of red flags that you probably ignored. Just keep your wits about you and pay attention to ACTIONS not words. If he continues to show he's a good man who makes you happy then proceed.
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