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Posted

So my ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for probably 2 years now. We dated on and off in college, were officially together for maybe a few consecutive months, but were involved in some way or another for a couple years. We hooked up a few times post-breakup. The last time I saw him was a year and a half ago, and we were on good terms then.

 

I recently moved for a new job, and it happens to be the same city my ex-boyfriend lives in. I want to meet up with him and catch up. If I'm completely honest with myself, I also would want to hook up with him, but even if that didn't happen I think I'd be content with just hearing about how he's been. I don't have any interest in dating him again, since I recognize we're fairly incompatible.

 

I guess my question is: is this a completely terrible idea, and if I did contact him, what would be the best way to casually ask him to meet up? The thing is that he was the one who broke up with me, so I'm afraid of putting myself out there and getting shot down or worse, ignored. I'm also afraid because the last time we exchanged words (a few months ago), he'd sent me an email wishing me a happy birthday, but then when I responded asking him a casual question that related to his message, he never replied.

 

Obviously I know the best choice would be to just not contact him, but I can't stop thinking about this and I feel such a strong compulsion to do it. As it has been two years, I've dated quite a few other people, kept busy, and moved on with my life, but I just can't help but want to see this guy again and just hear about how he's doing.

Posted

Yes...it sounds like an idea where there is more likely to be a negative than a positive outcome for you.

 

The best you might be able to get away with is send him a short note like, "Just wanted to let you know that I've moved to <city> for a new job...so, don't be surprised if we run into each other at some point."

 

That's all. If you don't hear back from him, just leave it alone...for your own heart's sake.

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