start2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 It's a long story...and i will write it tomorrow...cause today i am not in a mood to write a long story...but i just came here to give it out of me...it is 51 hours since i started NC...and it is 14 days since we last heard each other...and it is 37days since we broke up...it is sooo hard not to watch on the facebook if there is anything new about her...but i ve been doing it since the day we broke up....and everytime i went on her facebook profil...i felt bad...dissapointed...and it hurts...cause you are depressed either way. 1. if there is nothing new...you start to wonder why, she doesnt have time cause she is with some new guy, or she is having fun...or you find something that you wish you didnt see...and it really tears you apart...so no matter what is written on her facebook profile....it really crushes you...so i decided to not look it...and so far i am strong and i havent been on her profile since 15.August 2014, 18.00. I am not having great time at all, i dont like this situation at all, but...it is surviving....hour by hour...day by day...until one day i wil be over her....and can live my life without thinking about every single minute.so...i hope i can make many,many,many days holding this NC...i just want to tell that...this NC...is the only thing that is making me happy...as long as i dont know anything about her...i am not crushed every single day again and more..so...people..hold to NC no matter what!! peace
preraph Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 It's the best way. Now, don't just sit around and think about it. It's time to call up friends and go out and do activities. If your friends are busy, think of something you've been wanting to do and treat yourself. But if you do get with friends, don't even bring up the breakup and if they do, just say you are no contact and really wanting a break from thinking about it. Friends do get tired of hearing all about it.
Author start2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 to tell you the truth...what is really making me a bit easier is...that i was sick of her lies....and her being a slut. i know it is a harsh word...but i am just telling the truth...even she admitted...i am just so full of love, i really adore the idea of happy family, devotion, love, trust,... that it makes me sick when i remember all the ugly things she has done to me...i dont remember it often...but when i do....i am glad that i am not with that kind of person...but is it ok that there is this mindset in my mind "she will be liar and cheating for the rest of her life, like she did it to all previous guys+me, and she will stay that bad person....and luckily i am not going to be like that...and when i will have a new partner...i will be even much better than ever... somehow, it makes me happy that i am not as bad person as she is...this feeling that i am full of love for life, this feeling that i am honest, never cheat,...thats what makes this breakup and coping much easier...far from that its easy...its not easy...its hard...but somehow i feel good about it..is it normal? i definately will do what you said...i even wrote a list yesterday of what am i going to do this week
54JA Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I am so sorry you are going through this. Great job with the NC and great job finding a way to make coping easier (though not easy enough, I know). Each day you don't make contact, you can pat yourself on your back! You survived another day! And I think it's totally OK to see her as you described. Whatever you need to believe (e.g., she was a slut, etc) now to make coping easier, then that's what you need for now. You do and believe what you need in order to survive the pain, and there is no shame in it!! Later when you are more distant from the whole thing, you will have a more neutral view of your ex. When my ex broke up with me (long time ago), I tried to remember the negative sides of him as if to alleviate the pain. Time went by so slow, but eventually I got through it. I read somewhere that human brain can remember only so much, and that new memories (I think they called it competitive memory) will slowly push your old memories out. So whatever the new thing you do, it can slowly but surely weaken the power of the painful memories of your ex. Good luck!
Author start2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 First let me thank you all for replying. It does make a difference, eventhough a small, it does, talking to you. As far as my view of her, it's not because we broke up, i had this feeling for a last 3,4months before we ended. and that's the reason why i broke up with her. you know, we all have good and bad sides, but beeing a liar all the time and wanting to have sex with so many people, that is just humiliating and ugly. i know she is not the persone i want to be married and live for the rest of my life, but i miss beeing close with someone. but eventually it will go away...but right now it is still struggle...well in 1 hour it will be exactly 3 days of NC or 72 hours the most trouble i had with my will of wanting to know what is going on in her life...and checking her facebook profile 20x times a day...but finally i decided to stop it...and i hope i will manage to never look her again. i want a person who is kind, honest, faithfull, who is your friend and not acting like your enemy. so...yeeeah...cant wait for what the future will bring i wish everyone a nice day!
Author start2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 hi...a hour ago i was doing ok...but now i broke NC...i just had this feeling that she always has 5 guys around her that she want to have sex...and i had this lying hope in me that maybe now that she came home from vacations...she miss me and somehow i quietly hope she will text me or call me....but at the bottom of my heart i knew that will never happen ...and that she must be surrounded with many new guys...so i went to my dads facebook account and went to her profile...and there she was...publicly anouncing that she is "loved", and she dedicated song ...which was about...how always she was unhappy in her love life...but now he came and she is reborn....and this song is all about this...and she commented that she is feeling loved...so...it hurted immediately, and i felt quite dissapointed for breaking NC...but i just had to go and demolish my last hope....so i can move on....its not easy, it will be surviving every day...but now i dont have any hope...so i can move on... NC is the only right thing to do, and i am sure it will be much easier now, that i know she immediately has new guys around her...and she hasnt changed a bit. maybe it is wrong, maybe it is wierd...but to me it is ok... i got this conclusion,i know it is definately finished now, and i have n hope...now i can only go up, feeling better every day an getting over it... i hope you guys and girls are doin ok....but now i am sure that 3 days of contact that i hardly managed to endure...is nothing compared to the numbers of days i will endure now... have a nice day...and let the counting of NC begin
54JA Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 It's good that you got the conclusion you needed to move on, though I know it's painful... Many books talk about how there are stages of grief. I don't remember exactly, but sometime people need to go through all kinds of struggles to get to the next stage. I think it sometimes means hitting the rock bottom/being woken up from the denial. Good luck with your new NC period. I think you are really ready for that. I know it seems overwhelming to think of the days ahead, but really you can only take one day at a time.
Author start2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Author Posted August 19, 2014 hi i must say it was the firt 24 hours that i wasnt thinking much about her...maybe 10times...i know it seems a lot...but its really not that much days before i thought about her 10x in an hour...so i am feeling quite good...i dont have any will to go to her facebook...and i havent tried to get any informations...i must say this is the first time i felt this way...much better...and i have a feeling it will last just had to done that yesterday so i can move on... thanks so much for your word of wisdome...but not only of wisdom....but those words are real, honest...so thank you all! one day we will smile from the bottom of our heart and we wont be occupied with exes anymore...yeeeeah
chados Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 It's a long story...and i will write it tomorrow...cause today i am not in a mood to write a long story...but i just came here to give it out of me...it is 51 hours since i started NC...and it is 14 days since we last heard each other...and it is 37days since we broke up...it is sooo hard not to watch on the facebook if there is anything new about her...but i ve been doing it since the day we broke up....and everytime i went on her facebook profil...i felt bad...dissapointed...and it hurts...cause you are depressed either way. 1. if there is nothing new...you start to wonder why, she doesnt have time cause she is with some new guy, or she is having fun...or you find something that you wish you didnt see...and it really tears you apart...so no matter what is written on her facebook profile....it really crushes you...so i decided to not look it...and so far i am strong and i havent been on her profile since 15.August 2014, 18.00. I am not having great time at all, i dont like this situation at all, but...it is surviving....hour by hour...day by day...until one day i wil be over her....and can live my life without thinking about every single minute.so...i hope i can make many,many,many days holding this NC...i just want to tell that...this NC...is the only thing that is making me happy...as long as i dont know anything about her...i am not crushed every single day again and more..so...people..hold to NC no matter what!! peace delete her from facebook. dont talk to her friends about her. if you talk say something like nice weather outside. dont let anyone around her know that youre depressed because it will come back to you. put all her friends facebook so you cant see what they type. then nothing will come up about her. do not make her feel like you miss her. go out and have fun. the more you put yourself in to this situation the worse its gonna get and the longer it will take to get over it.
Author start2014 Posted August 22, 2014 Author Posted August 22, 2014 hello everyone...doing great....4th day of NC...and feeling quite better...its been a struggle..but since i have deleted Facebook profile and stopped stalking her Facebook profile...its been much better....everyone should do this...continue with NC...and dont ever stalk ex....lets see what the new day Will bring....have a good day everyone! 1
Author start2014 Posted September 3, 2014 Author Posted September 3, 2014 hello..i broke that NC that i managed to insist for 4 days...but i havent contacted her...i just looked her fb profile...but than i decided to do something interesting...i usually blocked her and then unblock her to see what is new....but no...i dont want that i need to block her not to look at her profile....i left her unblocked....so i can look her...but i never Will! now it is exactly 7 days without any kind of spying and looking her profile or contacting her....i got used to it....i still have bad moments....but every day is easier and i am happy that i am on the road of getting over her. i would just sugget to everyone: NC, dont spy, delete everything from ex, and dont forbid yourself...just decide not to do things that has anything to do with ex.. have a nice day everyone!
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