My ex, depression, and hope.

[DiscoFever]

Well I'm back again, In the previous few weeks/months I've done a lot of reflecting while I've been traveling, I feel I have a better idea of my situation with my ex.

 

To cut the story short; Me and my ex had a really good relationship for 6 months, it ended prematurely due to a mix of family problems, money issues, depression, rumors, and jealousy. When we talked about our breakup for the first time (At the start of this year) we let everything out especially how we felt, I'll cut to the end but we admitted that we shouldn't have broken up, and said she's willing to give us another chance one day if she ever falls in love with me again which she sounded really genuine about, I know she's not playing games.

 

In my time I was traveling I gave myself enough space to think it through since me and my ex talk every so often it's difficult to find space and think back so long ago, with my therapist's appointments as well (Which was both after and before my trip) we came to the conclusion I developed depression, partly due to the fact around the time of our breakup as I lost her, I also lost a close family member as well, along with how I tried to win her back before but we rushed things and attraction faded.

 

I do feel depressed, although the majority of conversation with my ex is usually positive and jokey, I just can't find the effort to take it further, I just hold myself back even though I know this is what I want. I feel in a sense I just need to kick myself out there and just do it, I've been holding myself back since March and it's not getting any better the more I push it away.

 

Any words of wisdom anybody can throw my way?

Edited August 17, 2014 by DiscoFever

[preraph]

You need to just start doing things with friends or even by yourself, things you really enjoy, active things, so you don't just sit around and dwell on the past. Doing new things will gradually take up that brain space you're giving to the ex now.