MIAho Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 For the past three months, I've been seeing this woman. We went on three dates, albeit spread out over a long period of time. She's a very busy person. In addition to her regular job, she runs her own fitness and nutrition business and is very active running in marathons. Initially she had a high interest level. After our first date, she told me that she really couldn't wait to see me again, but because of work and other work commitments, our second date was a month after our first. Sometime after our 3rd date, she stopped returning my texts to set up dates and I got tired of chasing her. A few weeks later, she texted me, claiming to be "super busy with work" and wanted to know if I could meet her for a drink that evening. I agreed to meet her but since I was finishing up a workout, I told her I'd be ready in an hour. After I finished, I tried calling her but she didn't return my call or text. Later that night, I found out on Facebook that she ended up going on a last-minute camping trip with a few of her friends. Since then, I haven't contacted her and unfriended her on Facebook. This weekend, however, I was running in a 6K race and discovered that she was also running. When she noticed me, she seemed genuinely stunned to see me while I simply ignored her. During the race, our paths crossed again. When she looked towards me, I ignored her again and kept looking forward. After we both finished, I saw her walk towards me with a grin, as if she was going to come over to talk to me, but I turned around and left. Part of me does sort of regret the snub but I feel that it was warranted. Did I do the right thing by snubbing her? I did at one time think that this might have had potential but after what she did, I don't trust her.
Tayken Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 some girls find someone and breathe a sigh of relief, and some girls sh%$ test their guy constantly because there's a thing in the back of their mind is telling them that something is off. It could even be their own lack of self worth sabotaging the relationship, but something in their subconscious tells them to find something wrong, and eventually they always do. Usually when lacking anything of substance they simply set emotional boobie traps and wait for a guy to fall in. Then it's game over. As a guy, you always, always, always have to be the one less invested. I've never once succeeded at a relationship where I was the one who cared more. To sum it up, caring is scaring. 1
preraph Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I don't blame you for snubbing her. Apparently she had no serious romantic interest judging by her actions. And she's too busy to be friends with, so screw it. 1
Author MIAho Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 some girls find someone and breathe a sigh of relief, and some girls sh%$ test their guy constantly because there's a thing in the back of their mind is telling them that something is off. It could even be their own lack of self worth sabotaging the relationship, but something in their subconscious tells them to find something wrong, and eventually they always do. Usually when lacking anything of substance they simply set emotional boobie traps and wait for a guy to fall in. Then it's game over. As a guy, you always, always, always have to be the one less invested. I've never once succeeded at a relationship where I was the one who cared more. To sum it up, caring is scaring. I'm not exactly sure I understand what you mean.
truth_seeker Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 She's all about the games and getting your attention. You did the right thing. At this point, any attempts by her to contact you should be ignored. You snubbed her, and just from you have described, she probably wants to get the upper hand on you... meaning: she wants the chance to snub you. She'll play nice, tell you she really was busy, try to set up a date, only to snub you if you agree to go out with her. This woman is a flake and should be forgotten. 1
Standard-Fare Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 It doesn't sound like you two ever got anywhere close to serious. Does that even qualify as "dating"? So the snubbing might have been overkill. I understand not wanting to engage with her, but a smile or nod would have been more appropriate. What's done is done, though. 2
GravityMan Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I think she lost interest in you after the 3rd date. Nobody is too busy to suddenly stop returning texts. In fact, I don't think she was really all that into you in the first place. She strikes me as the type of person who would mock and make fun of you behind your back with her friends. Put her out of your mind and mind.
MoreCoffee Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I think the onus is on men to handle it with grace. (I say that but would have probably acted the same.) I'm working on being at peace no matter what crazy **** a woman does or says. Then, good, bad, stay or go, I'm centered. Wooosaaaa. 1
stillafool Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 Well if the snub made you feel better OP then it's okay. I doubt it bothered her much though. I think she was just coming over to say hello because she knows she put you off to do something she felt was more interesting with her friends. I think when you snubbed her you gave her the "out" she was looking for. I hope you find someone more interested next time.
truth_seeker Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 I think the onus is on men to handle it with grace. (I say that but would have probably acted the same.) I'm working on being at peace no matter what crazy **** a woman does or says. Then, good, bad, stay or go, I'm centered. Wooosaaaa. I agree with you. I try to take the high road, but sometimes, it can be hard to not turn around and lash out when someone is continually pushing your buttons.
stillafool Posted August 18, 2014 Posted August 18, 2014 She only came to him because she felt awkward that she previously had snubbed him and just wanted to say something because she was somewhat embarrassed. She really was never interested in the first place.
Author MIAho Posted August 18, 2014 Author Posted August 18, 2014 There was always one thing I noticed about her. Even though she seems to know a lot of people, it never really seemed like she had a lot of close friends. When were first getting to know each other, she always talked about wanting to run races with me and hang out with me. Yet, on occasion, I'd see her try to get her Facebook friends to try and do things with her. Once she even offered to buy someone lunch and a guest pass to her gym if they would work out with her.
Uptown182 Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 Doesn't seem like she was very interested, women who are interested in a guy don't act flighty with him, so no love lost there. Maybe snubbing her was a bit harsh, I think smiling saying hello, being cordial and then walking away might have demonstrated more class while also showing you were over the whole thing. I think by snubbing her you were showing you were still kinda hurt over what happened.
Tayken Posted September 4, 2014 Posted September 4, 2014 I'm not exactly sure I understand what you mean. Which part of the above do you not understand?
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