IDer89 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I was with my ex for three years and we broke up last Monday. The sad part is it wasn't because we fell out of love with each other or that there was a lot of arguing. We're both of different nationalities and have lived in each others countries during our time together. Unfortunately that came to an end in July and I had to move away as I couldn't get a new visa. She couldn't cope with doing long distance so thought it best to part ways. Saying this I discovered what she has been doing with her time this week and it is very upsetting. You can read more about it here: break-up thread We didn't agree on NC but both know we need some time apart. The trouble is that tomorrow she has an important work event that I've had a stake in for a long while. She started her own business about about 20 months ago funded by her parents. I've been with her every step of the way and done all that I can to help right from being the muscle when she had trade shows to emotional support when she thought it was going to fail. I've been very invested in it's success since the beginning. On Monday she has an important event that she has been stressing over for months and months. Up until last week I was still there providing emotional support. I wanted to contact her to send my best wishes because I still care and feel as though I have an investment in this too. I'm not expecting a response from her but wanted to give her my best wishes and wish her luck. I thought about sending her a text but it's a bit of a 'nothing' action. Then I thought maybe an email would be better but again, it's just words. Then I thought maybe some flowers would be a nice way to brighten up her day. I had a tradition of buying her a bunch of orange roses as my go-to "cheer you up" flowers because they were inexpensive and matched the accent colours of her room. They aren't special occasions flowers as I'd pick them up from a regular street vendor and were just a gesture to show I cared. They also looked really nice in her room. So thats what I did, I ordered 24 orange roses to be delivered to her on Tuesday the day after the event. They're more expensive than what I used to buy because I had to order them but they're meant to have the same impact as always. I sent with them a note reading: To *******, I remembered that your photoshoot was meant to be yesterday. These are to say congratulations on all of the hard work you put in and good luck with this seasons next steps. I'm sure everything will look great. I'd love to see how this collection turns out at some point. Best wishes, **** Part of me thinks that this was a great idea, I'm not gonna say that it may not make her sad but I do know that it might cheer her up and a nice gesture to compliment all of her hard work. But then on the other hand I'm freaking out because I'm making myself now look weak and don't want her to be mad at me. I don't know what her current feelings are towards me as I think she is still in love with me but some of her actions suggest she's coping a lot better with our break up. Perhaps even attempting to move on already. And on that vein part of me also was being a bit sneaky in that if she is going on dates this week that there will be this huge bunch of flowers from me in her room that will be a gentle reminded that she only just came out of a long term relationship. Thats if she doesn't chuck them out which she may very well do. What are everyones thoughts?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 "We don't agree on NC". Is that you or she? If she's the one who wants to go NC and you aren't respecting that, then she's going to be incredibly annoyed and throw them out without a second thought. If you're the one who demanded it, she'll probably be confused and she might ask you later about why you're sending mixed messages.
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