She still gives me signs and loves me - (Updated, possibly pregnant)

[AntonDaems]

Hey Guys ,

 

I will try and tell my story as short as possible. I am 23 right now and my ex girlfriend is 22. We both finishing our degrees this year and are ready for the big world.

 

We started dating 4 years ago, we had 2 years of pure excellence but in the third year I messed up big times. I got a job as a dj in a club and I completely lost all my values and respect and got sucked in to the roller coaster of all attention and partying. I therefore also cheated on my girlfriend which she found out directly after... That third year was a absolute mess for me , I failed my year and I wasn't the person who I really am.

 

In the fourth year even although she knew I cheated on her and how I been such a dick she still dated me in this fourth year , and I did really change again to the person who I was before, carrying , loving and respectful. Now 1 month ago I had to go overseas , she cheated on me that time and said over a text message she cant do it anymore... She has been kissing the same guy a few more times but after our sleepover ( read further ) she hasn't done it anymore...

 

I then wanted to talk but I gave her time , now last week we went out togheter , had a sleepover and she was still saying that she loves me but that she doesn't want the relationship anymore that we had, so my guess is that she is afraid that we turn back into our old roots.

 

I can tell you this m I made mistakes in life , I was immature and I made the wrong decisions but I DID learn from it. I know what is expected of me , and I cant talk myself out of being how I was, there is no excuse but I did learn from it. I also made up my mind that this is the girl that I want to go further with in life cause we are a good team togheter.

 

Well anyway I also came completely clean about what I have done in the past and she said she knew it already ( but still stayed by me ??? :S ) anyway she said that we are taking things chilled and that we just taking it easy to see if we both 100 procent shure about how we feel and that we want to be togheter.

 

We had already some crazy signs given by different situations which obviously made us think more about that we should be togheter or not.

 

Now yesterday I went out , and guess what she arrived there with her best friend , she saw me , walked away and came back 5 minutes later joining us on our table. She had to drink and started saying all these bad things to me that I am a cheater and so on. Anyway she stayed , tried to make me jalous with my best friend and tried to pull a lot of attention to her which I just ignored , I told her once again how I feel and what I really want but don't think it went in cause of her drunkyness level. I actually lost my patience after a while and said that this never will work out and told her im gonna go which she replied to no you don't have to go.

 

Half an hour later I did really want to go so I said well this is it , this will be a goodbye forever... Saying goodbye to all my friends and ready to go she comes and asks me if I could bring her home safely. I drove her home let her out of the car want to give her a hug and say goodbye, then she tries to kiss me which I didn't let happen and she said ill see you on Monday ...

 

I am pretty mind****** right now as I really don't know what to do or what this all still means...

Her phone got also stolen and I got her a new iPhone as present which I actually just want to go give her tomorrow with a goodbye letter in , ive been sent trough a motion of emotions like a rollercoaster goes up and down , I know time will tell but this is something I really cant handle anymore. I don't know what to do and I am desperate ....

 

I really know what I want and how to make it right and to behave in the future , I did learn from my mistakes , all I hope is for that once chance to proof it to her ...

Any advice on this would be warmly appreciated ..

 

Thanks a lot

[d0nnivain]

She already came back once after you cheated. Although she took you back she never really got over it & now she has cheated on you.

 

This relationship has been dead & over for at least a year. You simply both need to make it official.

[MoreCoffee]

I think if you re-read your entry, you'll find you already knew what you want to say to her.

 

"I really know what I want and how to make it right and to behave in the future , I did learn from my mistakes , all I hope is for that once chance to proof(ve) it to her ... "

[AntonDaems]

I think if you re-read your entry, you'll find you already knew what you want to say to her.

 

"I really know what I want and how to make it right and to behave in the future , I did learn from my mistakes , all I hope is for that once chance to proof(ve) it to her ... "

 

 

 

Fair enough thanks , I do know what I want I just need some advice or a view from someone else on the situation .. But you right , and that's what I am going for

[AntonDaems]

She already came back once after you cheated. Although she took you back she never really got over it & now she has cheated on you.

 

This relationship has been dead & over for at least a year. You simply both need to make it official.

 

 

 

Thanks for the advice ... we did indeed went trough a bad period but like you say its all or nothing and I think well I hope we should atleast give it a go and put everything in it ...

[d0nnivain]

Are you willing to forgive her for her cheating?

 

If so, give her the phone. Talk to her & move forward.

 

However, I really think that you two have already done enough damage & there aren't any pieces left to put back together.

[AntonDaems]

Are you willing to forgive her for her cheating?

 

If so, give her the phone. Talk to her & move forward.

 

However, I really think that you two have already done enough damage & there aren't any pieces left to put back together.

 

yes I am ...

[AntonDaems]

UPDATE :

 

 

I saw her today cause she asked to see me , I said to her im ready to let you go , made a farewell letter and then the phone as a goodbye gift. I told her its better this way... I don't know what happened that moment but it does seem like everything might fall back togheter , we had both a serious chat and I don't know what but I do have a positive feeling so for al you people in love , don't give up ... There is always a chance ...

[AntonDaems]

Hey everyone ,

Will try and tell my story as short as possible.

 

So 2 months ago we broken up after almost 4 years dating. Reason where that I got carried away and cheated on her. Told her everything and since then we where still having contact and seeing eachother and having intercourse with eachother.

 

We still talk a lot and we both know we do want this to work out with eachother although it will require time. I accepted the break up and ( although in the beginning I did push and beg but saw It was wrong of me ) Things are chilled now and I just trying to be a good friend for her to support her when she is having a difficult time.

 

Now she recently told me that she has missed her period for almost 10 days now, first hpt was negative but second showed slightly 2 stripes. We just have that feeling that she might possibly be pregnant. Not very ideal as we still in a very difficult situation. She has days of ups and downs where one day she is super angry at me and the other day she aks me to see her. I kindoff processed her behaviour and know I must just let her do her thing as it is a way of coping with the problems and emotions at hand.

 

What do you guys think about the situation , obviously I do want to get back with her sooner or later , but I do know it takes 2 of us and especially time and also forgiveness of her. Her feelings haven't changed towards me , she just is very disappointed and angry cause of what ive done.

 

Thanks a lot

[zen2475]

She obviously has a lot to deal with it. A possible pregnancy definitely complicates things for you two right now, and you'll just have to see what happens. There are a lot of false positives in HPTs, and sometimes when a woman is under a lot of stress her cycle can get really messed up.

 

 

You are right that rebuilding your relationship will take time, and you have to allow it that. Hopefully she can let go of her anger and resentment, but that takes a lot of work. Proving to her that you can be a faithful partner will play a huge part in this. Be consistent in your word and deed, and slowly rebuild her trust in you.

 

 

You may or may not be able to get past the infidelity. A lot of times relationships do not survive; sometimes they do. You can't undo the past, but you can move on to a new future. Just remember there will be a lot of ups and downs in this process, and recovery will be on her timetable now, not yours.

 

 

I would carefully look at why you cheated, and if it's because of an issue in your relationship, you both will need to work on that.

 

 

Meanwhile, you will probably have to expect to be held accountable for all your actions while in the relationship in order to regain her trust. Yes, that means checking in, detailing what you are doing, etc., so there is no opportunity for speculation or suspicion.

 

 

You will also need to be willing to make a commitment to the future of your relationship in that cheating will not occur again.

 

 

But just remember, while people have the capacity forgive, they still do not forget and there will be repercussions of your infidelity for a very long time. Just be realistic about that.

[No Limit]

No offense but the only reason why she's beenwith you all this time despite everything is because she's co-dependant. I really hope she isn't pregnant, or else everything will take a turn for the worst, especially for her.

 

I know you want to get back together with her OP, ideally as a loving couple, but that train's gone. Was gone ver since you cheated, and even the dust in the distance was gone the moment she cheated.

[AntonDaems]

She obviously has a lot to deal with it. A possible pregnancy definitely complicates things for you two right now, and you'll just have to see what happens. There are a lot of false positives in HPTs, and sometimes when a woman is under a lot of stress her cycle can get really messed up.

 

 

You are right that rebuilding your relationship will take time, and you have to allow it that. Hopefully she can let go of her anger and resentment, but that takes a lot of work. Proving to her that you can be a faithful partner will play a huge part in this. Be consistent in your word and deed, and slowly rebuild her trust in you.

 

 

You may or may not be able to get past the infidelity. A lot of times relationships do not survive; sometimes they do. You can't undo the past, but you can move on to a new future. Just remember there will be a lot of ups and downs in this process, and recovery will be on her timetable now, not yours.

 

 

I would carefully look at why you cheated, and if it's because of an issue in your relationship, you both will need to work on that.

 

 

Meanwhile, you will probably have to expect to be held accountable for all your actions while in the relationship in order to regain her trust. Yes, that means checking in, detailing what you are doing, etc., so there is no opportunity for speculation or suspicion.

 

 

You will also need to be willing to make a commitment to the future of your relationship in that cheating will not occur again.

 

 

But just remember, while people have the capacity forgive, they still do not forget and there will be repercussions of your infidelity for a very long time. Just be realistic about that.

 

thanks for your great answer. It is how you explain it. I do and am willing to commit myself for a fully 100 procent and I am aware it wont go easy but I really am willing to take the chance. Time will speak I guess ...