forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Hi all, I met someone several months ago. I stopped messaging him on July and he didn't start a conversation either. We are both somehow troubled people and I guess he was mad at me because I stopped the contact and at the same time he was too proud to message me or maybe he was not that interested. Last week was my birthday and he didn't greet me even though he was active on facebook. I messaged "happy birthday" as a way to start communicating again but he didn't open my message for 2 days even though he was active on facebook. He lastly messaged last night. I still haven't opened the message but I can read he wrote "omg happy birthday!! What an idiot I am..." My question here is: when to open the message to not look desperate. What to answer to look cool. And what to say if I want him to engage in a conversation without looking desperate. He downloaded messenger after my message, and he tried to contact me twice during this month. I appreciate your input. I like this guy and he likes me but I don't know if he's still interested.
preraph Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 OK. Now stop thinking. Your message reminded him he liked you and that you guys had dropped the ball, but don't go making a big production out of it. With your birthday message, you casually reconnected. It's a natural time to be thinking of your friends, past and present, so you didn't humiliate yourself and you haven't acted desperate yet. And you won't as long as you just respond back with a light "Hey, how you been" and don't even try to mend whatever happened in the past. Just act casual, carefree. Make it obvious it was all no big deal -- you both just got busy, as fun cool people often do, and then just see if he suggests doing anything. Don't get heavy on him. Stay light, casual, and keep messages to a minimum.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Aww...ok. When should I message him bavk? It's Saturday night and I don't want to look like I have no plans (i dont have plans Should I wait until tomorrow morning? Would "haha, you're still cute. How's everything?" Is a nice reply?
todreaminblue Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Aww...ok. When should I message him bavk? It's Saturday night and I don't want to look like I have no plans (i dont have plans Should I wait until tomorrow morning? Would "haha, you're still cute. How's everything?" Is a nice reply? are you saying haha youre still cute because he said he is an idiot for forgetting your birthday...i wouldnt say the haha youre cute bit and go with yeah another year bites the dust for me and still kickin'.....so hows it going with you...what have you been up to?..deb
Supernatural Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Just open the message so we can tell you exactly what to say. If he sees you read it... Big whoop! You'll respond when you can... On your terms.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 ok. I'll open it tomorrow morning and let you all know. It probably says nothing more than he's as idiot for forgetting my b-day. I need to think what to answer to that so I can create some kind of flow between us again... ps: I don't want to open and answer days or hours later because he might think I have to take time to asnwer because it's important. I want it to be casual, like I'm busy with other important things in my life.
Supernatural Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 ok. I'll open it tomorrow morning and let you all know. It probably says nothing more than he's as idiot for forgetting my b-day. I need to think what to answer to that so I can create some kind of flow between us again... ps: I don't want to open and answer days or hours later because he might think I have to take time to asnwer because it's important. I want it to be casual, like I'm busy with other important things in my life. For all you know he could be asking you to get together... You're making assumptions. You feel you need to be prepared and want to look a certain way. How you're handling this simple situation directly reflects how you are in other areas of life. You care too much how you're perceived which is your down fall. Even if you do look great. Internally you're all over the place with heavy thoughts that shouldn't even be a concern.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 ohhh...ok. I'll just wait until tomorrow and then message him some randomness without thinking it too much. I'm not going to lose sleep about it, I just didn't want to make any mistakes, but you're probably right.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 Complete message says: "Omg happy birthday! What an idiot I am I completely missed! I hope you had a wonderful day, gorgeous girl" Blah. I haven't answered. Should I?
truth_seeker Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 Hi all, I met someone several months ago. I stopped messaging him on July and he didn't start a conversation either. We are both somehow troubled people and I guess he was mad at me because I stopped the contact and at the same time he was too proud to message me or maybe he was not that interested. Last week was my birthday and he didn't greet me even though he was active on facebook. I messaged "happy birthday" as a way to start communicating again but he didn't open my message for 2 days even though he was active on facebook. He lastly messaged last night. I still haven't opened the message but I can read he wrote "omg happy birthday!! What an idiot I am..." My question here is: when to open the message to not look desperate. What to answer to look cool. And what to say if I want him to engage in a conversation without looking desperate. He downloaded messenger after my message, and he tried to contact me twice during this month. I appreciate your input. I like this guy and he likes me but I don't know if he's still interested. Stop playing games and start acting like an adult. What is with this "desperate" talk? You're only desperate if you beg and plead with someone to like you. Opening a message, reaching out to someone, is not desperate. Be straight forward - "Hey, how have you been? I want to know where we stand. Lets talk so we can move forward or go our separate ways." The last thing you wrote makes no sense - I like this guy and he likes me but I don't know if he's still interested. If he likes you then how can you say you don't know if he's still interested? Just f-cking ask him what's up!!!
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 I replied "thanks ;)" I'm just too proud to ask him how's everything. I guess he's not that into me so I don't want to force things. I guess this is the end.
truth_seeker Posted August 17, 2014 Posted August 17, 2014 I'm just too proud to ask him how's everything. Well, then it's your loss. Lesson to all women out there: this mindset gets you nowhere.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Posted August 17, 2014 I guess your tactic is not working either, since you're replying to threads instead if actually dating someone
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